True Blood: Flashbacks and Tearjerkers

Categories: TV Party

Despite some recent stellar showings, it's pretty apparent True Blood is going out in a whisper, not a bang. That's fine. Seven seasons of a vampire show is always going to be a bit much. The last season of Buffy certainly wasn't anything to write home to mom about.

In a more solid season, this week's episode would have be a nice palate-cleanser. It would have served as one of those moments when we sit back and reflect on the characters themselves rather than whatever uber-contrived plot was going on in the background. Such breaks are necessary.

Admittedly, this was an emotional rollercoaster. I was honestly near tears when Andy spontaneously decided to propose to Holly, borrowing Sookie and Jason's grandmother's wedding ring for the task. Chris Bauer has honestly become the most solid performer in the show, able to deliver a unique everyman approach to all the supernatural goings-on that is sometimes lacking. He has nothing but a sense of small-town Southern justice, and it serves him remarkably well.

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True Blood: Life in the Corpse

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I expect True Blood to go out harder than a train crash in the third Atlas Shrugged movie. This show exists to justify the phrase "Get out while the getting's good."

And yet.

AAANNNDDD yet...this week was honestly one of my favorite episodes in the show's history. It was really, really good, you guys.

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True Blood: Pointless Naked People

Categories: TV Party

Let me preface this recap with a statement. I like tits.

I do. I really do. I like naked ladies a very great deal. I know that the mammary glands are made for the rearing of children, but I unabashedly love them just for the funny feeling they give me in the groin area. Call me a pig if you must, but swinging sweater meat and hard nipples are high on my list of favorite things.

That said...True Blood? Cut it out.

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Nashville Stars Step Onstage But Not Out of Character

Photos courtesy of Dancy Ware PR
Claire Bowen
It's been several decades, since The Monkees and The Partridge Family, that a television show about fictional musicians has turned its actors into real-life singing stars. Maybe it was MTV's fault, or the flood of reality programming, but the '80s through '00s were painfully short on shows capitalizing on the dramatic opportunities begged by even the most quotidian musician's life. Not until Nashville, ABC's hourlong soap set in the country-music capital, did viewers weaned on American Idol-ish competition shows realize that other forms of music could be ready for prime time too.

True, even without all the music, Nashville would be one of the better dramas on network television. It's a well-written, well-acted, totally immersive window into a glamorous but treacherous segment of American society. Imagine Scandal with fewer skeletons in its characters' closets (but not many), or The Good Wife set backstage at the Grand Ole Opry instead of courtrooms. But Nashville, created by Thelma and Louise screenwriter Callie Khouri, came up with an ingenious twist: on this show, the songs and the characters are for all intents and purposes inseparable.

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Five Artists Cameron Crowe Should Base His TV Show On

Categories: TV Party

Cameron Crowe's last foray into the world of rock.
Director Cameron Crowe has never made a TV show before, but he's currently at work developing one for Showtime, treading some familiar territory for him: rock bands. Specifically, he'll be turning his attention onto roadies, and the trials and tribulations they go through while working for famous rockers.

There's probably a million stories to tell about this subject, and the Almost Famous director will surely plumb the depths of those stories for ideas. That being said, we came up with a few suggestions for who he might start off with.

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True Blood: Stick to Your Guns

Categories: TV Party

This week surprised me a great deal on True Blood. I'd resigned myself to ending out the series by sucking harder than a $400 Dyson, but instead it showed that sometime there are things that the show actually does do better than the books.

Welp, maybe better is a strong word. Let's say "differently to obvious benefit" instead. The decision to keep Lafayette alive, for example, is an undeniably good idea. Television Sam is a lot more likeable than book Sam, as well, and Sookie works much better with Alcide onscreen than she ever did in print, honestly.

The real triumph, though, is Arlene. In the books, Arlene is an objectively terrible and trashy person who deserves every bad thing that happens to her. Thanks to some good writing and Carrie Preston's portrayal, though, Arlene manages to be an absolutely awesome character that transcends her surroundings without ever losing the flaws that made her real under Charlaine Harris' pen.

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True Blood: Jesus, Take the Wheel

Categories: TV Party

Note: Welcome back one of Rocks Off's longest-running recurring columns, our seasonal summations of the music featured on HBO's True Blood.

I predicted that this season of True Blood would be a messed-up mix of chaos, and thus far I have been proven right. That said...the music gives me hope. Allow me to explain.

The decision to end True Blood has obviously put an end to the one-book-per-season thing the series roughly tried to follow for the last six years. Granted, there was a ridiculous amount of divergence, but through it all you could sort of see little nuggets and meaning from the first six novels peeking through if you looked hard enough.

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The Eight Best Musical Moments of the New Arsenio Hall Show

Categories: TV Party

In case you didn't notice, 2014 is essentially exactly the same as 1994. Nirvana is in the news constantly and The Arsenio Hall Show just got canceled again. That's a shame, because we here at Rocks Off are pretty big fans of Arsenio.

Apparently the coveted 18-34 audience didn't have the same fondness for him this time around that they did when he was a hit from 1989 to 92; his new show lasted less than a year. Even so, he managed to land some pretty awesome musical guests in his short run, so here we come together to celebrate and mourn by looking back on the ten best.

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The 10 Best '80s Cartoon Theme Songs

Remember the days when you'd set your beeping alarm watch to 6 a.m. on Saturday morning to wake up in time to catch your cartoons? Man, nothing compared to the stillness of the house in the early hours, where you could sit in peace while an animated, pizza-obsessed turtle and a rat ninja set off on a new adventure.

Yep, life in the '80s was awesome. Cartoons were mind-warped, confusing and chaotic, and the plot twists often went where children's shows should never, ever go. But that's what made them so damn fantastic. They were works of art and madness, and so worth getting up at the ass-crack of dawn for.

And really, the world didn't even need to make sense in the '80s. It just needed to be rainbow-colored and slightly scary, and everything would be all right.

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The 10 Most Memorable '80s TV Theme Songs

Oh, how we miss the '80s.

It was a happy time, when life was full of neon spandex, leg-warmers and high-top Reeboks as far as the eye could see. Sure, there were too many dudes sporting man-perms, but they always threw in an accompanying mullet for good measure, and the beloved beard was always an added accessory.

But as much as we admire the creativity of the '80s fashion trends, the questionable attire wasn't the best part of the decade. Nor was the Lite Brite, on which your baby brother nearly choked on the tiny colored bulb, or the Teddy Ruxpin, which quickly became suspected of demonic possession. Those things were all great, but there was something much, much better: the TV theme songs.

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