Note: Allison McPhail is the spring 2012 Houston Press photo intern, as well as a member of Houston band the Wheel Workers.

Photos by Allison McPhail

​Written with Craig Wilkins

We woke up early and followed the road to Austin. There was music to be heard, and our first SXSW show to play.

About three days earlier, we got the confirmation. Our drummer, Jason Carmona, had played in a band for a time with one of the members of Electric Attitude. When they found out that a spot had opened up in the Slacker magazine showcase, they gave us a call and we were thrilled to have the opportunity.

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Photo by Chris Gray

Lucas Gorham of Houston's Grandfather Child at Skinny's Ballroom during SXSW

​The most telling, most poignant comment about SXSW 2012 came on Twitter. Texas Monthly music writer Jason Cohen tweeted something to the effect that watching the band with the current No. 1 song in the country -- in this case Brooklyn's fun., who plays Warehouse Live tomorrow and whose "We Are Young" you may know because it was in a Chevy commerical that debuted during the Super Bowl -- and having no idea who they are was a signature SXSW moment.

I wish I could take credit for that, but I wholeheartedly agree. I once looked at one of SXSW's banners at the Austin Convention Center and counted 15 different sponsors. I think I counted right. Corporate-sponsored, SXSW-specific venues like the Chevrolet Sound Garage and Doritos Jacked Stage seemed to far outnumber places with normal names open the rest of the year like the Austin Music Hall, Antone's and La Zona Rosa.

But that is just the crassest, most annoying, most commercial layer of SXSW. There are many these days. The things the festival used to be best known for are still there, they're just not quite as easy to notice anymore. Like rings of an old tree or something.

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You were a little flat at the end of your performance of "Happy Birthday" there, Wolf Violinist

​The last few days, Village Voice Media's indefatigable music staff has been regaling you with stories of the best from SXSW 2012. In the midst of these discoveries, we've been culling another list: the worst shit. The acts that ranged from huge bore-fests to downright lame. Below, you'll find our critics' submissions. Let us know if you have similar experiences.

Yawn at Bar 96
Standing up for indie rock in 2012 is like pledging allegiance to Joseph Kony, and we have bands like infantile Chicago quartet Yawn to thank. The pleasure of Bandcamp is that we get to peruse hashtags like "animal collective, avant-pop, beach boys, brian eno, electronic, of montreal, vampire weekend, yeasayer, avant-pop, dreampop, electronic, indie pop, Chicago" and theoretically end up with something that resembles those terms. (Don't forget "andrew bird" and "beirut," guys.) The downside is that a slickly produced EP like Yawn's self-titled collection and last year's Open Season get out to the masses too fast. Tongue-wagging tastemakery takes over, and suddenly folks trying to fill out lineup cards at festivals end up latching onto goobers like these guys without seeing them perform.

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Nick Rallo

Justin Townes Earle at Stubb's BBQ

​So, we come to it: the end of all things. Four days of madness, Doritos, Skrillex and finally, St. Patrick's Day. Before we bid SXSW 2012 farewell, allow us to share our favorite moments from SXSW day four. Later, we'll let you know which shows weren't so hot. Find our favorites below, and if there was a show that blew your hair back--let us know in the comments. To quote Raymond Chandler: "I went to brush something off my cheek, and it was the floor."

Grupo Fantasma - The Stage on Sixth
Anytime Grupo Fantasma plays, one has to fight the feeling that this might be the best band in the world, or at least the most fun. On Saturday the Grammy-winning Austin Latin funk-rock ensemble crammed nine musicians onto a small stage under a backyard tent, and put on the kind of party-rocking perfomance that can only be achieved with Latin rhythms, a three-piece horn section, and some seriously whammy'd-out guitar solos. Yes, the lyrics are in Spanish. But this group's endless energy and sunglassed cool spoke more than words ever could. When Grupo Fantasma plays, casual observers become blissed-out converts, and even the older ladies in the crowd get up to shake it. Having seen them twice now - both times in front of hometown crowds - I've learned to never underestimate this group's powers of seduction. The only thing this writer doesn't understand is why Grupo Fantasma isn't better known. -- Ian S. Port

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Marco Torres

50 Cent and Eminem at the Austin Music Hall. More photos below.

​If you're familiar with chaos theory, which in its basic form is the attempt to find patterns in the random acts of shit on Earth, then you may understand the difficulty that comes with describing a full day at SXSW. To break down the chaos, Village Voice Media's roving music editors have selected their favorite moments from SXSW day three, along with our sponsored Slim Shady SXSW showcase with 50 Cent and Eminem. Find 'em below, and let us know in the comments what show blew your hair back.

50 Cent / Eminem - Austin Music Hall
Never mind that Get Rich or Die Trying actually came out in 2003; the moist and dewy crowd at Austin Music Hall last night was plenty psyched for his performance of his debut album on its "10th anniversary." Backed by a full band, 50 came out in his signature vest, though it proved unnecessary as not a single shot was fired at him. His mentor Eminem came out as surprise guest, rapping passionately from beneath his hoodie. The show was further proof that this "artists doing their seminal albums in full" thing is the best trend in popular music. -- Ben Westhoff

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Photo By Craig Hlavaty

​When I was nine years old, I was taping Nirvana and Soundgarden songs off the radio from a tiny boombox and learning to pee at a urinal without pulling my pants down to my ankles, but DJ BabyChino is gigging around the world. I caught him on Friday night close to midnight on Sixth Street at Status, an Austin storefront.

With his buzz-cut and black glasses, he immediately attracted a crowd of gawkers, watching me mix it up on a pair of turntables and Mac. At first I thought he was the world's smallest DJ, but a quick Google search while standing in front of him, I found out he is supposedly the youngest..

Though I imagine somewhere in China or India they start them younger. No child DJ labor laws there, you know?

Was he good? Well, he had the mastery of a beat down, and he seemed to be in control of the impromptu party around him. This isn't some creepy deal where a little person is masquerading as a child, but we are living in strange times.

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www.museumoftheweird.com

Note: May not be actual sasquatch.

​That headline is not any kind of existential plaint; Rocks Off was legitimately curious. We know why we're at SXSW - it's our job. But it's a broad, broad spectrum between those of us doing some kind of business here this week and the hordes of people in Austin purely to party.

So, because we are such a people person, we picked out a handful of perfect strangers to ask the simplest of SXSW questions - "Why are you here?" in three very different locations: The homegrown Houston Invasion party at East Austin's Gypsy Lounge, featuring Folk Family Revival, the Tontons, the Handshake, Chase Hamblin, Wild Moccasins, Fat Tony and many others; hipster SXSW Bible Brooklyn Vegan's shindig next door; and passers-by on deepest, darkest Sixth Street, which these few days in March rivals Times Square as the crossroads of the world.

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Photo by Chris Gray

​Shades of Cheech & Chong. Rocks Off saw this sign posted outside the Dirty Dog bar Friday afternoon and knew we had to post it.

We have no idea who "Shitty" is, but he was definitely not in the building.

But why?

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​Most of the world's biggest rappers - Jay-Z, Kanye West, Snoop Dogg, T.I., 50 Cent - have performed in Austin within the past week, are about to perform, or are at least in the city partaking in the SXSW festivities.

Rocks Off was leaving Stubb's late Thursday night and heard Snoop Dogg performing a private event on the Doritos Jacked Stage a few blocks away on Red River. We had no idea he was even in town, but we weren't surprised either. Our younger counterpart Rocks Off Jr. saw Kanye and Hammer hanging out at the Belmont, and he met Roots drummer ?uestlove.

Now Rocks Off has learned that perhaps the biggest rapper of them all, Marshall "Eminem" Mathers, may perform at Friday's Shady Records/Village Voice Media party at the Austin Music Hall. This is only a rumor, mind you, but Houston Press parent company Village Voice Media is a co-sponsor of the showcase with Eminem's label, Shady Records. Call it inside information and leave it at that.

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I know, right?

​If you are here in Austin for SXSW you know that this place has just devolved into free cereal, Doritos, and Red Bull on the streets, which are bathed in lasers from the tops of buildings. Plus there are screaming humans of all ages, races, sizes, and creeds on the streets almost 20 hours a day. Where do they all park, and Jesus, when and where do they all sleep?

Of course I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world right now, and neither would the other Rocks Off staff here these few days. We get to sleep in a clean bed with dry towels nearby if we so wish to clean our bodies.

Last night I ran from a three-hour Bruce Springsteen show over to the Main off Red River to catch Skrillex, which I am not ashamed of in the slightest. That's how SXSW do.

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