The 10 Best Texans-Ravens Rapper Tweets

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Case Keenum = Kate Upton
The 2014 Houston Texans have a new coach, new players, new hope and the same dedicated fan base of Houston-based rappers. As in years past, they took to Twitter on game day to comment on the home team's gridiron action.

And, as in years past, Rocks Off spent Sunday afternoon reading their tweets. The ghosts of Christmas past -- Gary Kubiak, Owen Daniels, Jacoby Jones -- were busted by Peter Venkman and Egon Spengler (OK...J.J. Watt and Arian Foster). The Texans defeated these former Texans and their fellow Baltimore Ravens to keep their wafer-thin playoff hopes alive.

Case Keenum was also back, leading the team into battle just like Kate Upton in those Game of War commercials -- looking fabulous but not really striking fear in anyone's heart. He did just enough to upstage James Franco Joe Flacco, who resembled a practice-squad QB Sunday afternoon.


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The 10 Best Colts-Texans Rapper Tweets

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Guess we won't be needing this...
The 2014 Houston Texans have a new coach, new players, new hope and the same dedicated fan base of Houston-based rappers. As in years past, they took to Twitter on game day to comment on the home team's gridiron action.

And, as in years past, Rocks Off spent Sunday afternoon reading their tweets. In a game that recalled that old Ben Folds Five song, "The Battle of Who Could Care Less," the Indianapolis Colts stumbled awkwardly to a win and the AFC South division title. The uneventful game's biggest highlight was Ryan Fitzpatrick's unfortunate, season-ending injury and rookie Tom Savage's valiant trial by fire.

We wanted to stand with him on a mountain and, er,..bathe with him in the sea, but in the end, the Texans' playoff hopes were buried in a Savage garden. To be fair, the kid tried hard and played as well as could be expected, and a helluva lot better than the highly touted guy who got his first career start in Cleveland on Sunday. There were the usual Tweets about the dubious play-calling and the suspect defensive secondary, but in the end what mattered most was the disappointing outcome and everyone had something to say about it:


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He Went for It on the First Date. Help!

Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!

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Photo by Mario Jaramillo
MY MOM TALKED BAD ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK

Dear Willie D:

I'm a 23-year-old female who lives at home with my mom. She has always supported me and encouraged me by saying the regular things like, "You're so smart, and I'm proud of you." But yesterday at home, I overheard her tell her friend on the phone that I'm a big disappointment.

Shocked and hurt, I stayed in my room and cried all night. She has been trying to be nice to me. She keeps asking me what's wrong, but I just tell her nothing to make her go away. I don't know how to feel about our relationship now. I feel as though my whole life with her has been a lie. I want to tell her how she hurt me, but I also want to move away from her and never speak to her again.

Please tell me what to do to get through this?


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The 10 Best Texans-Jaguars Rapper Tweets

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The Texans were outmuscled in the first half.
The 2014 Houston Texans have a new coach, new players, new hope and the same dedicated fan base of Houston-based rappers. As in years past, they took to Twitter on game day to comment on the home team's gridiron action.

And, as in years past, Rocks Off spent Sunday afternoon reading their tweets. The contest against the unfortunate Jacksonville Jaguars was a tale of two halves. The Texans sleepwalked like Mike Birbiglia through the first half of play and trailed by three heading back to the locker room. Everyone -- except maybe Andre Johnson, who left the game after a brutal goal-line hit early on -- seemed to eventually snap out of the daze. The defense pitched a second-half shutout, Arian Foster dominated and the Texans earned their seventh win of the season to stay in the AFC playoff hunt:


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Houston Can Believe in the Sauce Twinz

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MIXTAPE OF THE WEEK: Sauce Twinz, In Sauce We Trust
Should you believe in The Sauce Twinz?

It's hard to exactly pinpoint when the Sauce Twinz leapfrogged over plenty of other names to sit at the precipice of local stardom. In their eyes, they were already stars on a street level and have just translated it to the rap arena. Sauce Walka and Sancho Saucy aren't literal twins, yet they act like brothers; watching them together is akin to watching the members of Voltron.

Walka in public is loud, engaging and hard to miss. Saucy, sometimes stoic, yet "on" when the light turns green, both in the booth and in public It's how records like "Errbody" immediately become Sauce Twinz records, and how Walka's adlibs become catchy whether it's drug, blood or pimp lingo or more. The Twinz are street superheroes, complete with catchphrases and a signature sound.

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My Husband Wears My Panties. Help!

Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!

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Photo by Mario Jaramillo
MY SISTER IS BLACKMAILING ME

Dear Willie D:

I met a guy who is four years older than me; I'm 15. He listens to me and cares about what I think. He is very caring, and I know he's not just messing with my head because I'm young. After three months of seeing him, we had sex.

Even though we used protection, I was worried the whole time. But other than that, the experience was great and he was so caring and gentle. Because it was a special moment for me I wanted to tell someone about what I was feeling; so I told my younger sister, who is 13. Well, ever since then, she has been blackmailing me by making me let her wear my clothes and do stuff for her.

I am fed up with her, but when I tell her no she threatens to tell our parents. My parents are strict and will punish me and probably try to lock my boyfriend up for having sex with a minor when they find out his real age. Please help me get out of this situation.


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Mike Red's Third Tape of 2014 Bares His Root$

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Mike Red, Root$
If one were to sit back and discuss producers from the Northside who don't normally get their due, George Young and Mike Red would be 1 and 1A. Think a mixture of Stephen Curry and James Harden, a backcourt of light- and dark-skinned sampling fools who choose to lift the sounds they grew up with and around: bouncy synths; angled hi-hats and handclaps; and thundering bass.

Red has been doing this with renewed vigor for the better part of two years now; his "Jammin' Screw" stickers are prominently displayed at gas stations near Bush Intercontinental Airport and beyond. He can be your tour guide through different wards of the city or just play quixotic rapper who wants to smoke and watch the ladies.

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The 10 Best Titans-Texans Rapper Tweets

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Smiling fans enjoying a rare blowout
The 2014 Houston Texans have a new coach, new players, new hope and the same dedicated fan base of Houston-based rappers. As in years past, they took to Twitter on game day to comment on the home team's gridiron action.

Rocks Off read their tweets when we had time to look away from the Texans' virtual highlight reel of a win, a lopsided drubbing of the poor ol' Tennessee Titans. The last time the word "blowout" was uttered anywhere near NRG Stadium someone's Michelins were littering the 610 Loop and Kirby with tread. The team set franchise record after franchise record in this play-it-because-it's-on-the-schedule contest.

No one enjoyed it more than the long suffering fans of Section 139, many of whom are lifetime season ticket holders who've sat through a few Texans highs and a lot more lows over the years. Here are some of their happy, smiling faces direct from game day and all the good vibes from our regular Tweeters.


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I Got Invited to a Friend's Divorce Party. Help!

Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!

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Photo by Mario Jaramillo
I CONFESSED MY LOVE FOR A FRIEND AND SHE REJECTED ME

Dear Willie D:

I'm feeling a little depressed since confessing my love for a friend who shot me down. This is someone I have known for two years, and I never let her know my true feelings because I was afraid she would do exactly what she did -- turn me down. We used to be able to tell each other everything. I still feel the same way, but I can tell she hesitates to tell me about stuff now.

I have been trying to come up with a way to get our platonic relationship back on track since romance figures to be out of the question. I still secretly desire a romantic relationship with her, but as I said that's out of the question. What can I say or do to regain her trust?


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Point Blank at Numbers, 11/22/2014

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Photos by Derrek Barlow
SPC stalwart Point Blank celebrated his birthday with a release party for his new double album Saturday.
Point Blank
Numbers
November 22, 2014

The weather was ugly in Houston on Saturday night, with rolling thunderstorms dumping buckets of rain on the city and keeping a lot of folks indoors for the evening. But if the South Park Coalition could be stopped by a little rain, they never would have made it nearly 30 years as the foundation of this city's underground rap scene. One of the SPC's own, Point Blank, was celebrating the release of a new double album on Saturday, and the show happened to be his official birthday party as well.

Accordingly, a nice crowd of friends, family and fans (the lines between them tend to blur with the SPC) turned up with umbrellas in tow to hang out, hear the new songs and maybe even bust a move or two.


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