I'm Cheating On an Older Woman. Help!

Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!

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Photo by Mario Jaramillo
I'M UNFAITHFUL TO MY OLDER WOMAN

Dear Willie D:

I'm with a real good woman who is eight years older than I am. I can't seem to remain faithful. I meet other women and have sex with them regularly. I want to be a great man to her, but my conscience holds all of my wrongdoings.

Unfaithful:

I know your struggle. It doesn't matter how good your woman is. You cheat because when you hooked up with her you weren't ready for a monogamous relationship in the first place. I know you probably won't do it, but the honorable thing to do would be to dissolve the relationship, so that you can thwart any further damages that might be caused to you or your girl by your infidelity.


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Dear Local Musicians: No Rockets Playoff Songs, Please

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Photo by Groovehouse
We'd bet real money that James Harden doesn't need a well-meaning rap song to inspire him to beat Dallas.
The Houston Rockets are our snake-bitten, sometimes insufferable and nationally bemoaned basketball team. We love them. The city of Dallas absolutely cannot stand them. When we get to the NBA's Promised Land, a.k.a. meaningful basketball from April to June, we act as if we've never been there even though we've won two titles.

For example, last year our playoff T-shirts wanted to tell the world where we're from. The Clippers, a team searching for an identity, are doing the same thing this year. The Spurs? Our rather curmudgeonly yet amazingly consistent and put-together cousins three hours away have won five titles since Houston won our last one. Just playoffs. Just...playoffs.


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Scarface Pours Out Everything in His New Diary

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Photo by Marco Torres
Brad "Scarface" Jordan, center, with the Geto Boys, 2014
You heard, yet? The brand-new project from Brad "Scarface" Jordan, Houston's preeminent gangsta poet, drops today. Predictably, it's dope. But don't go scurrying off to Spotify to find it -- try Amazon instead.

At long last, 'Face has broken his offstage silence and dished the goods in his new book, Diary of a Madman. Written together with longtime hip-hop scribe Benjamin Ingram-Meadows, the autobiography covers the rap superstar's entire bumpy and blessed existence, from his beyond-rough childhood in some of Houston's darkest places to his current exploits tearing up the city's best-manicured golf courses. It's about as complete a self-portrait of the intensely private MC that we're ever likely to get.

If you see him around town and you ask real politely, he might even sign your copy. Just don't ask him to read it.


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Somebody Tell Wiz Khalifa There's Only One Mr. CAP

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Photo by Derek Barlow
Mr. CAP, left, with SPC fellow Point Blank at Numbers, 2014
If you're the sort of hip-hop junkie who gets most of your news from Instagram, it probably comes as no surprise to you that Wiz Khalifa's 'gram-handle is @mistercap. Lord knows the "We Dem Boyz" rapper has certainly gotten a lot of use out of the name, having used it to photo-journal endless Love & Hip-Hop-style drama with his on-again, off-again ex-wife, Amber Rose, who just so happens to be the Internet's favorite bald-headed beauty/booty.

If you're over the age of 25 and find all of that a tad confusing, you're not alone. But no one was more surprised to discover the online exploits of @mistercap than Mr. CAP, the local South Park Coalition rapper who has been using that name since Wiz was a zygote.

"I have nothing to do with Wiz Khalifa," Mr. CAP chuckles. "I've seen his Instagram followers. He got five million followers on Instagram as Wiz Khalifa. I don't know if he sold himself short using @mistercap or what.

"I don't even know how to use Instagram," the rapper adds.


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How to Live Like Janet's "Go Deep" Video

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I can recall the first time I ever wanted a music video to be my life.

No, it wasn't 2Pac's "I Get Around," because I felt like getting chased by women twice my size and dealing with the aftereffects of a pool party where I only knew two people (Shock G, Money B) would be too much.

No, it wasn't Oran "Juice" Jones's video for "The Rain" because quite frankly, the only real fun in that video happens after The Juice busts his chick for cheating on him and tells her she's like Corn Flakes without the milk. The agony of doing all that detective work, following her and living with the shame of getting cheated on sucks. By the way, that's still the most disrespectful thing I've ever heard a guy tell a woman without using a curse word.

No, the first time I literally wanted my life to be like a music video? Janet Jackson's "Go Deep."


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I'm Hot For My Best Friend's Sister. Help!

Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!

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Photo by Mario Jaramillo
WOULD I BE WRONG FOR DATING MY FRIEND'S SISTER?

Dear Willie D:

Eight years ago my family picked up and left Dallas to follow my military father to Japan for work. I left behind my best friend, and his wonderful family that included his pool-stick-shaped little sister. I hadn't seen her the whole time I was gone except for a few pictures on my friend's Facebook page.

We moved back to Dallas in July, and their family gave us a welcome-back party. When I saw my friend's little sister she was no longer little. She was a fully developed woman with a smoking body, and she was being extra nice to me. She brushed up against me in the kitchen as we both were getting seconds, and I swear she did it on purpose. The friction got my hormones to racing wildly.


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Rob Gullatte & Show Louis: The Sophisticated Savages

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The first time you're introduced to Rob Gullatte may not be in a public setting. Instead it may come behind a firewall, where his country drawl can be masked behind 140 characters -- but his affinity for the Dallas Cowboys, his Alief surroundings and wanting better for his son are as loud as a ringing klaxon. This is where you may see Gullatte, quick to declare himself The Best Rapper on Twitter, interact with common people; all while carrying the confidence of a man who may be 160 pounds, but would still swing on a super-heavyweight who weighs around two J.J. Watts stacked atop one another, too.

You may not enjoy this meeting with Gullatte, but you're intrigued that someone would at least dare bellow out of his chest that he is the best above all others.


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My Friend Is Prettier Than Me. Help!

Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!

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Photo by Mario Jaramillo
I'M JEALOUS OF MY FRIEND BECAUSE SHE'S PRETTIER THAN ME

Dear Willie D:

Hanging out with my close, beautiful friend has always made me feel less important, and sometimes unattractive. She's always the first one that guys see. Lately, I have found myself being really resentful of her to the point that I no longer want to hang out with her, and tell her about events that I might be attending because I'm tired of competing with her.

I feel like such a snake. She is a good friend, and has always had my back. I know I shouldn't feel the way I do, but I can't help it. How can I cope and coexist with a friend who is prettier than me?


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Could You Hit a Wrestling Move on These Rappers?

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Photo by Patrick Hoelck/Atlantic Records
A fan got the best of Plies over the weekend and hit him with the old belly-to-belly.

It's nearing the end of the school year. That means that for some reason, there's going to be a fight-video Vine montage at your high school. People are going to "oooh" and "ahhh" and somebody is going to get one clean punch in and things will be over. Dunzo.

Point is, you shouldn't fight anybody unless you have to. You, by most human standards of decency, should try to talk it out with someone if you have a disagreement. However, if you do have to fight, I suggest that you land the first punch to at least keep your opponent off guard.

You see, Plies got into a scuffle over the weekend. Easter weekend to be precise. The running joke is that he died somewhere in Tallahassee on Friday and rose on Sunday morning to turn back into Kirk Franklin. Plies was valedictorian of his high-school class. Plies also played college football at Miami University as Nod Washington. Plies, for all reasons in the world, should never, ever get into a fight. Yet he did Friday night. A fan of his found the perfect time in the universe to execute a belly-to-belly suplex on Plies before getting stomped out by security.

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Fifty Shades of Grey Made Me a Freak. Help!

Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!

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Photo by Mario Jaramillo
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY MADE ME A FREAK

Dear Willie D:

It's hard to watch the movie Fifty Shades of Grey and not walk away without a need to be sexually adventurous. Maybe it was my Catholic upbringing, but I have always been sexually challenged. But boy oh boy, how one movie can cast a spell on you.

After watching the movie, I decided I would be less inhibited in bed. For the first time I participated in bondage. I made my man wear a blindfold, then handcuffed, and whipped him with a rope. It was so empowering. I am now comfortable with asking for the kind of sex I want. I guess I'm a real control freak [heh-heh].

Have you watched the movie, and is BDSM something you would want to do with your woman?


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