​The Internet -- whaddaya gonna do? The Houston Press has been having difficulty merging onto the Information Superhighway all morning, but we hope to resume our regular blogging schedule shortly.

Stay tuned.

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​The comments sections on several articles about Linda Chorney, the woman who gamed the system and social networked her way onto the final Grammy ballot in the Americana category, tend to be pretty negative, although Chorney's publicist, husband and a few friends are trying to staunch the flow of irate bile that has gushed like BP's Gulf well last year.

Lonesome, Onry and Mean has been following Americana music since long before we first went to work in country radio in the early Seventies, and we've never witnessed anything quite as shameful as Chorney's calculated internet march to the Grammy ballot. We were revolted by our first listen to Chorney's tepid folky Emotional Jukebox. We can think of a handful of women in Houston who could kick Chorney's musical ass with one arm behind their backs.

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The subtle front page of Chorney's website.

​As if the Grammys didn't have enough credibility issues, NARAS, the organization that controls the process, has left a loophole large enough for a complete unknown to manipulate her way onto the final ballot in the Americana category.

The news broke two days ago in Variety that virtual unknown Linda Chorney had employed the organization's interactive Grammy 365 site to connect with voting members and get her music heard. Somehow she got enough members to vote for her to get her album Emotional Jukebox on the final ballot with Emmylou Harris, Levon Helm, Ry Cooder, and Lucinda Williams, who have collected among themselves 23 Grammys.

On one hand, we have to applaud Chorney for her effort and determination and for her ability to work the system to her advantage. On the other hand, after hearing her music, we want to projectile vomit.

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Photo via lunatic-fridge.com

​Say you're an elementary school music teacher singing Christmas carols, specifically "Deck the Halls," with your class and every time the lyric "don we now our gay apparel" comes up, the kids look at each other and giggle hysterically because the word "gay" is super funny to eight year olds. What do you do? Do you take control of your class like an experienced educator or do you, in an attempt to curb the outbursts, change the lyrics of a 150 year old song and replace the word "gay" with "bright"?

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Lady Gaga kept a poker face after her Montreal fall.

​Concert performances and award shows can sometimes really put the pressure on artists, who often get so nervous or excited that they may just faceplant the stage. We've complied you tube clips of some of the best mid-performance stumbles. Some are a little shocking, but they are all amusing in the end

13. Wiz Khalifa: While performing in Boston last year, Wiz lifts his shirt to flex for the ladies. At the 0:17 mark, he takes a tumble and roll. He was pretty good at getting back on his feet as if the fall was apart of his act.

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brightestyoungthings.com

The sign officially known as "Love Symbol #2"

​Sunday marked the 18th anniversary of the date Prince changed his name to that confounded "Love Symbol", and we can't help but wonder if he would have had more success had he waited a decade or two.

Like it or not, in today's highly compact, smartphone-addicted culture, abbreviations are becoming the norm rather than the exception, with RHCP and ICP, CCR and STP seen more frequently than the bands' full-length names. Then again, LMFAO can be found on any standard keyboard, whereas the Love Symbol - an unpronounceable, highly stylized combination of male and female gender signs - exists only in Prince's frilly, purple velveteen mind.

Prince made the change in an attempt free himself from Warner Bros Music, saying "Prince is the name that my mother gave me at birth. Warner Bros. took the name, trademarked it, and used it as the main marketing tool to promote all of the music that I wrote." Yet the general bewilderment over how to represent the singer verbally and in print resulted in his being referred to instead as "the artist formerly known as Prince," alienation of his audience (or rather, the people formerly known as fans), and a rich buffet of material for comedians around the world.

Changing your name to a symbol is just one of many ways to thwart a successful music career, four more of which are listed below.

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UPDATE X3: The remaining U.S. dates of the tour have been CANCELLED. Better luck next time.

UPDATE X2: Kings of Leon's Woodlands date has been rescheduled for September 22.

UPDATE: We have just called the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion business office and they have said the show has been postponed. No further details have been given, and no new date has been set as of this time. Band Of Horses secret show? Keep you posted...

Groovehouse

Caleb Followill in Houston this past April.

​The tweets started coming fast and furious out of Dallas' Gexa Energy Pavilion last night after Kings Of Leon lead singer Caleb Followill walked off stage, after apologizing for his voice being shot, joshing the meatheads in the crowd, being overcome by the heat of the venue and the city, and drifting off into a rambling, wistful monologue, repeating "you guys are so fucking awesome!" repeatedly.

Here's Darryl Smyers' review of the show from our sister blog DC9 At Night. Sounds very trainwreck-y.

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​Well, damn. Rocks Off should have known that when something sounds too good to be true, it usually is.

And so, unlike what we reported Monday, the original lineup of Houston thrash-metal gods deadhorse will not be playing at Warehouse Live on October 22. The lineup that released the group's final recording, the 1996 Boil(ing) EP, will play.

Rocks Off just got off the phone with Warehouse's Christian Larson, who confirmed that the Boil(ing) lineup, fronted by Scott Sevall, is the correct one.

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"You're talking to the wrong white man, my friend. My people were the white man's nigger when yours were still painting their faces and chasing zebras."

Yes, that was their name.

​Freshman year of college. One of my good friends was a white kid who loved Jay-Z like crazy. He knew every song, owned every album, and once built an academic thesis around a Jay-Z quote. So, one day we're sitting in his red Ford jamming The Blueprint for absolutely no reason other than we just wanted to sit in the parking lot and jam The Blueprint.

Like I said, this guy adored Jay-Z. Anyway, "Takeover" comes on and we're both rapping along. The Jay-Z vs. Nas beef is arguably the greatest battle in rap history. The genius of that beef was that both MCs started out with jabs and gradually progressed to haymakers. Jay teased Nas on the original version of "Takeover." Nas teased back on the "Stillmatic" freestyle. Then the body shots started pouring in.

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Smoot Entertainment

​Rocks Off can be a bit of a clod sometimes. In this week's print edition, we got our wires crossed and listed this weekend's Kashmere Reunion Stage Band concert at Miller Outdoor Theatre, which you can (and should) read about in this week's music feature "The Thunder Rolls," as taking place Saturday night. It's actually 8 p.m. tomorrow night.

Everything else is still true. The concert is still free, and the story of the KRSB's unlikely resurgence thanks to the documentary Texas Thunder Soul is still one of the most remarkable musical comebacks to happen in Houston or anywhere else. And we still can't wait to see Thunder Soul when it screens in Houston - finally - November at Discovery Green.

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