Maybe the band should have expected strange things to happen when they headed out on tour with Hollywood Undead. Considering their own name, American Fangs, this couldn't have come as a complete shock. Because it sounds more like something that would happen in an episode of HBO's True Blood.

Last week the Houston alt-rockers were winding their way through the upper Midwest with masked L.A. men Hollywood Undead when several members of their five-piece band were involved in an altercation with a fan outside the La Crosse Center in western Wisconsin. According to the La Crosse Tribune, a 23-year-old man assaulted a guitarist for Hollywood Undead after throwing a barricade through the window of that band's tour bus. Fangs guitarist Nik Slimp was roughed up in the ensuing scuffle, and wound up chipping a tooth.

Oh, and one more thing. The alleged assailant, one Scott Mehtala, reportedly told police he was a vampire and asked to see one sympathetic-looking officer's tattoo. Perhaps more pertinently, Mehtala told police he was high on heroin and had a blood-alcohol content of .12, the Tribune said.

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Since the first thing that comes to mind about New York during the roaring 1920's is dubstep, Autotune, and, of course, Andre 3000 and Beyonce, the producers of the new The Great Gatsby movie have forced this little ditty upon us from the upcoming soundtrack.

Bey and Andre's collaboration on Amy Winehouse's throwback tune may very well have produced the worst song that's ever been released, cover or otherwise. I have nothing nice to say about it. Oh, yes, I mean that. I mean that very much. It's just a mess. A huge, sandpaper-to-the-Eustachian-tubes mess.

If you'd like to hear two extremely famous and otherwise generally talented artists rip "Back to Black" to shreds, please see below.

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So somewhere along the line, a very strange, slightly racist, and incredibly awkward brainchild -- aptly named "Accidental Racist" -- appeared to Brad Paisley and LL Cool J. Instead of shoving that idea into the box labeled "Hell no," they decided to record it and put it out into the universe for all to hear.

Yep, you heard that right. A song, called "Accidental Racist," recorded by Brad Paisley and LL Cool J, does indeed exist and is included on Paisley's new album Wheelhouse (out today). And no, it's apparently not a widespread public swatting. It is a very real thing, with very real lyrics, and it's on Paisley's new album, Wheelhouse. Still don't believe me? See the proof below, in all of its six minutes of glory.

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In the most recent instance of things that never needed to happen, ever, Andrew W.K. has joined forces with Playtex -- maker of all things Tampon-tastic -- to bring you "Fresh + Sexy Wipes," an intimate cleansing wipe for your nether regions to help you feel (I'd presume) fresh and sexy before and after you knock the ol' boots.

And no, this is not an ill-timed April Fool's Day joke. This exists in real life. Mr. W.K. is stoked to have taken the crotch-wipe gig, too.

"Whether you just finished rocking a packed club or have an intimate encounter after a busy day, this product will make couples feel brand new," he wrote in a statement. "Fresh + Sexy Wipes were specially designed to help couples feel confidently clean, before and after they engage in sexual activity!"

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tvline.com via creative commons

Justin Timberlake did look sharp, we'll give him that.

Dear Stupid Grammys,

I have a bone to pick with you.

I sat through Taylor Swift's uninspired opening act while she half-sung/half-yodeled at a guy on a spinning bullseye. It was complete with an insulting and transparent Alice in Wonderland costume ripoff (which I'm not getting, by the way... is she supposed to be more hardcore now?), and she still can't sing live worth a shit.

I suffered along with the rest of the audience through fun.'s "cat howling in the rain" performance (does anyone else think he sounds a little like the singer from Yes?), and I didn't even change the channel during the Dierks Bentley/Miranda Lambert mash-up under a giant naked winter tree, despite my loathing of their music.

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Recently my Twitter buddy John Seaborn Gray wrote a blog for Rocks Off in which he gave the world five simple suggestions for how to use Internet jukeboxes more effectively. He makes a lot of good points and if you're good people you'll read it, digest it and put his rules in to practice.

I am not good people and I'm betting not all of you are either.

John was right: Internet jukeboxes are in fact proof that democracy doesn't work. But while John wants to build a more perfect union, I'm here to help you destroy the system.

The Internet jukebox is a bomb, and my $1 is the match that lights the fuse.

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Photo by uhuru1701.

Most of the email I get in my Rocks Off inbox is pretty boring. The bulk of it is press releases for bands I'm never going to listen to with the occasional new album download sprinkled in, but every now and then something comes along that stops me in my tracks.

It started off as a Facebook link that lead me to an event titled "America F*ck Yeah!" So far, so good.

Then I read "Red, White, and Wobble at Jet Lounge." Not bad, but "Red, Wobble, and Blue" would have been better.

Then I read "September 11th".

...Yeah.

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Rewind: So Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne Are Engaged: How Should You Feel?

Saturday Night: Nickelback & Bush at Toyota Center

I'd like to tell you a cautionary tale.

A few weeks back Kevin Beaudette of Tupper Lake, N.Y., decided he really a) wanted to see Nickelback and b) wanted to see them for free. His plan was simple: Go into the woody area surrounding the Saratoga Performing Arts Center, maneuver his way through the trees and rocks, and sneak into the venue.

It seemed like a really good idea until he slipped, tumbled, and eventually landed 40 feet deep in the Geyser Brook Gorge.

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Not pictured: Houston

Forty-seven years ago this week, full-scale Beatlemania descended upon Houston in all its glory. On August 19, 1965, the Fab Four played their only Houston concerts -- one in the afternoon and one in the evening -- at the Sam Houston Coliseum downtown.

The completely hysterical response to the Beatles during this period of the band's career, particularly by teen girls, was already notorious by the time John, Paul, George and Ringo made their way to Houston, but by most accounts, the city's adult population was still mostly unprepared for the mayhem. It began the second the Beatles' chartered plane touched down at Houston International Airport (now Hobby), when fans swarmed the tarmac.

Some Beatlemaniacs even managed to climb onto the plane's wings, knocking on windows and likely scaring the ever-loving shit out of the lads. It was this kind of unprecedented behavior that would soon lead John Lennon to declare that the Beatles had become "more popular than Jesus."

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Rewind: Insane Clown Posse Incites Spiritual Debate, Asks "Where's God?"

Here's a Video of the Entire Geto Boys Show From Saturday's Juggalo Gathering

It's been a pretty good week for both the Insane Clown Posse and Juggalos across the country. Aside from an argument that led to a Texas ninja getting stabbed, this year's Gathering of the Juggalos appears to have gone off without a hitch, while ICP made national headlines for making it known they plan to eventually lose a lawsuit against the FBI.

Mostly lost in all of this is the fact that Detriot's favorite facepainted duo just released a new album. This makes sense, because ICP stopped making music for the rest of us years ago.

Still, I came across the video for one of their new tracks and it killed a lot of the goodwill the Posse had built up with me over the last few years. For wrestling fans, there are two words that give us pause, and those two words just happen to be the title of the song in question: "Chris Benoit."

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