Thanks, Internet, for all you do.

Although dozens of EDM subgenres are brain candy to me, I haven't personally given in to the auditory assault that is dubstep (mostly... maybe). However, I'm here to say that there is actual science to appreciate behind the work of Skrillex and many others.

If you think about it, many people argue over EDM's relative worth as much as they once debated (or even still do) the merits of rap music, pop hits or rock and roll. Somebody out there is trying to quantify polka and reggae too, simultaneously.

Regardless, EDM is a growing genre. It's the music of the future, literally. It's made with machines and robotic things that make silver-plated noises. But electric guitars, sitars, mandolins and banjos also all make sounds that involve a combination of integrated technology and talent.

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If you take Jorge Perez's word for it, four bouncy asses and a lone cymbal are proof that music can be found anywhere (as long as you have four willing women to bare their bums in the name of art, of course).

Solidifying his status as the envy of dudes everywhere, Jorge convinced four women to bare their bums for his drumming pleasure and recorded it for all the world to see. Drummers really do get all the chicks.

As a jazz-fusion percussionist with the band Patax, Jorge is known for playing percussion on peculiar instruments, so this booty-bongo video may be of little surprise to anyone familiar with his work.

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Photos by Abrahan Garza

Swans
Fitzgerald's
September 15, 2012

Swans will be the loudest show I will see this year, and the loudest show I will ever witness at Fitzgerald's. It wasn't until halfway through their set, sometime in the middle of the half-hour pummeling of "The Seer" that I realized I had a pair of earplugs in the car. By then the sound in the venue was less aural and more a full body massage.

Funny, most of the Swans reviews that I had read previous to this show used the word "pummel" or "pummeling" in some form. It seems like a misnomer considering the band's legacy. Using the terms "loud" seems almost sarcastic.

Swans' Saturday-night set, with the polarizing Xiu Xiu on hand as direct support, would last nearly two and a half hours, span only seven songs, and leave the audience feeling like they had just spent their evening inside a steel mill.

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Driving home the other night, I thought I had come up with the perfect get-rich-quick scheme: Christian dubstep.

Roll your eyes if you'd like, but one thing I've noticed is that going to an EDM show is a lot like going to church: They both feature music, alcohol and standing on your feet for long periods of time. Plus DJs love to do the Jesus Christ Pose.

I was all set to grab some hymns and load up Fruity Loops, but I thought I'd check Google to make sure no one had beat me to the punch. Imagine my disappointment when I saw the album cover above.

But I was curious as well. Had they been able to successfully meld the power of dubstep with the power of Christ? I loaded up Spotify to check it out and file the following report.

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Photos by Marco Torres

Saturday: Identity Festival at The Woodlands

ID Fest: The Crowd (daytime)

ID Fest: The Crowd (nighttime)

Here's a peek behind the curtain: when taking notes on a show I average about one page per hour. That's fine for a show like LMFAO, where the bulk of the review is on one act and I have a bit of leeway with what to discuss.

Saturday's Identity Festival was long and when you spend eight hours taking notes you have to kill a few of your observational babies for the sake of readability.

EDM shows continue to fascinate me, which explains why I tend to take way more notes than I need to when I go to them. Here are ten deleted scenes from my show review to help give things a bit more color.

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Bun B performs

Photos by Marco Torres

Disclaimer: Marco Torres was hired by Red Bull to take photos at Monday's #LOUD event, so we asked him to report back. -- ed.

Last October, Houston's City Council passed a new sound ordinance that dropped the Houston Police Department's requirement of using decibal meters when responding to noise complaints. The current ordinance allows officers to ticket performers and business owners based on audible noise alone.

This has led to substantial fines and even jail time for some in the Houston entertainment industry. Many of these court cases have since been dropped due to lack of witnesses and evidence, but the fight to amend and revise the new ordinance continues.

Monday night at House of Blues, Red Bull Houston and the Greater Houston Entertainment Coalition Political Action Committee held an event aptly entitled #LOUD, attracting many DJs, rappers, musicians and music lovers in support of amending the ordinance.

Rocks Off spoke with Joshua Sanders, a registered lobbyist and official spokesperson for the GHEC-PAC, concerning the event and the group's mission and progress.

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Photos by Marco Torres

DJ Elroy Boogie: "I joined the club!"

Thursday night, the Houston Police Department was called to Boondocks for the third time in less than a month due to complaints about the noise. Three more citations were given, this time to DJ Elroy Boogie and DJ Klinch, and -- for the third time -- Ryan, Boondocks manager.

Here are my notes from last night (quotes are statements overheard from one of the police officers):

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Photo and video by Marco Torres

Sunday afternoon, Rocks Off ventured over to Roosevelt Lounge (5219 Washington) to witness what we expected to be a protest organized by Quanell X, leader of the local chapter of the New Black Panther Party. This event was in direct response to the club's alleged racist door policies that led to the arrests of two Houston Dynamo players on Feb. 4.

X states that the club owner has agreed to sit down with him sometime this week to discuss the incident and hopefully come to some sort of a compromise that will be in the best interest for both sides of the dispute, as well as for the community. He also noted that the initiation of a formal protest of the club will depend on the outcome of this meeting.

Nancy Shaddock, board member of Dynamo Charities, was also on hand to express her disappointment with Roosevelt Lounge and said she hopes to assist in creating a solution to this case.

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We all hate the trope "Houston, we have a problem," but we do have a problem in Houston with talkative, inattentive crowds at live shows. Scanning back over reviews from the past two years, at least 20 percent of them mention crowd noise.

So what do the musicians think and, more importantly, what do they do? The last time we saw Steve Earle he pulled out Doc Watson's famous one-liner to silence a request screamer: "I remember my first beer, too, buddy." We've also seen Earle quiet two talkative ladies with the sarcastic, "Am I botherin' y'all?"

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photos by Marco Torres

Saturday night legal trouble for Boondocks manager and DJs

Saturday night, as we rolled up to Boondocks (1417 Westheimer) for the H-Town Sneaker Summit Pre-Party, something felt strange. There were cop cars on Hawthorne Street, lights blazing, and police officers roaming around. We first assumed that they were ticketing illegally parked vehicles and were waiting for a tow truck. We parked (legally) and proceeded into the party. After a few minutes of hanging out at the DJ booth, Ryan, the manager on duty, summoned DJ Sober to the front door. We followed.

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