Four Controversial Songs by Current Houston Acts

Photo by Vox Efx/Flickr Commons
Controversy abounds, as it always has. But we're reminded more frequently than ever just how confusing our modern-day existence is, what with these phones-turned-newspapers and social-media feeds and such.

In Denmark, Santa Claus is apparently a heinous slave owner who dictates his nefarious Christmas plans to someone called Black Pete. Fat Albert may or may not be a rapist. Some publishing company believed yet another photo of Kim Kardashian's bare ass -- a thing that had already been seen more than Punxsutawney Phil over a century of Februaries -- could "break the Internet." We can land an unmanned probe on a comet hurtling through space at 84,000 miles per hour, but we still don't know why dropped toast always falls buttered side down.

Musicians have always been there to address many of these issues. It's a tradition that dates back at least as far as "Ring Around the Rosie" and its social commentary on the Great Plague. In more recent times, it's been carried on by songs like "Strange Fruit" and "Masters of War," and "Fuck Tha Police." Houston of course enjoys its fair share of artists with the nerve to take on the day's provocative issues, such as the ones responsible for these four recent songs.

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Metal Can Teach You Anything You Want to Know

Robert Bejil, Flickr
Most people regard metal as an anti-intellectual, chest-beating, noisy fit for cavemen. Despite this being 100 percent true, there are a few positive things that result from having an intense dedication toward one of the most juvenile forms of music out there.

While listening to metal may still sentence you to a life in your parents' basement, at least you'll have learned a few things on the way to sleeping on a pile of empty potato-chip bags. Here are six things you learn from being addicted to metal.

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The Top 10 Misogynistic Songs of 2013

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Just in case you were wondering, it is probably a good idea to never, ever write a song with the lyrics, "And all she eat is dick/ She's on a strict diet/ That's my baby." Want to know why? Because it's gross and sexist, and not very good advice for women watching their figures, either. A Registered Dietitian you are not, Lil Wayne.

It's probably also not a good idea to write songs about only fucking hos who wear Dolce & Gabbana, or about slipping drugs into a woman's drink in order to sleep with her without her remembering. Those make your lyrics scummy, RiFF RAFF, and rapey, Rick Ross.

So let's start the next year with some lyrics sans the misogynistic tone, please. Perhaps something more introspective than how you treat women as sex objects. As romantic as the words "And girl, I fuck who I want, and fuck who I don't" are, they're a wee bit demeaning and again, slightly rapey. So let's back away from the rape lyrics and come to our senses. And stop blaming the good kush and alcohol. It's getting a bad rap.

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People, It's Time For Yet Another Lesson In Concert Etiquette

Listen up, live music fans. It's time for an etiquette lesson. No, not a lesson on how to pour tea or eat crumbly shit without spilling down your blouse. This lesson is on concert etiquette.

Some of you may need it, some of you may not, but I'm sure you know a few people who could brush up on their concert-going skillz. In that case, you can pass this along to them now that you know it exists.

Now put your pinky fingers in the air and follow me. Let's do this. Here are some basic lessons in concert etiquette. We'll all be fancy by the end of this.

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Top 10 Yo Gabba Gabba Musical Guests

Want to hear the Shins teach a bunch of magical, mismatched creatures about the virtues of trying, trying again? What about Weezer? They're making friends with bugs, and they're making songs about it. No, we're not stoned, sillies...we're just watching Yo Gabba Gabba, and we think you should too.

If you're a parent of a small child, you may already be familiar with the sheer insanity of Yo Gabba Gabba. If you're not a parent of a small child, but you sit around baked, eating Cheetos and watching children's shows (not that we would know anything about things like that), you may also know of Gabba's high awesomeness factor. Either way, we're glad you know how great Yo Gabba Gabba is, because we think it's great too.

That being said, there's not much more to this whole blog equation. Yo Gabba Gabba, which earlier this week announced a December 8 Bayou Music Center stop on the YGG live company's "A Very Awesome Yo Gabba Gabba Live! Holiday Show" tour, manages to teach life lessons without being mind-numbingly boring. The show has some of the best musical guests around to sing about clowns and balloons and why you shouldn't bite your friends, which are things both children and adults should know.

Because we like the idea of life lessons being taught by Devo and the Roots, we've done you the favor of watching all these Gabba musical guests, ranked below in order of their cool points. It's that simple.

Here ya go. These are are the Top 10 Yo Gabba Gabba musical guests. Be prepared for awesome.

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Get Over It: Five Rocker Muses Who Totally Suck

Photo by Jason Wolter
Sting, we need to have a talk about this Roxanne.
We've all been there: with a crush so big and bad that it completely muddies your ability to think clearly and infects your brain like an earwig, in love with someone who realistically is kind of a crapbag, pining after someone who, plainly, just sucks. We all know that this thick veil of fantasy can be very difficult to lift. The worst is watching a friend go through this.

How can one compassionately shake the sense into someone? How can you sensitively tell a friend, "Dude, she sucks, get over it?" Sometimes the truth hurts, but we need to hear it. Look guys, it's time to hang it up on these girls and move on. There are plenty other rock chicks in the rock sea. These girls SUCK.

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pop songs

Pea Soup and Miracle Tonic: Crazy Tales From The Slow Poisoner

Rock operas are badass. They're tragic yet hilarious, dramatic to the point of hysterics, and they're full of some sweet ass props. What more could you ask for?

And when it comes to all things rock opera, The Slow Poisoner -- or Andrew Garfield, as his parents know him -- knows those rock-opera necessities well. The San Francisco native has been on a one-man rock-opera mission since '96, spreading the word on headless chickens, miracle tonic, and wily women with the help of a kick drum, some sleigh bells, and his guitar. Oh, and some felt.

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For J. Lo: Five More World Leaders Who Don't Deserve a Happy Birthday

J. Lo's Marilyn Monroe moment may not have gone as well as she planned.

You see, when Monroe sang the words "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" to John F. Kennedy, the controversy arose by murmurs of an affair. When J. Lo sang those words, scandal came by means of scathing headlines about human-rights violations and violent dictatorships. Not all press is good press, folks.

But in case you haven't seen all of the press about her recent dictatorial faux pas, here's what happened. The Chinese National Petroleum Corporation paid Jenny From the Block to perform at birthday party for Turkmenistani president Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov, taking place at a resort in the Caspian Sea. Thing is, according to Human Rights Watch (and nearly every other watchdog group), he happens to be one hell of a nasty dude.

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Bow Down to Beyonce's Potty Mouth, Bitches

bow down.jpg
Ooh, Beyoncé! I see your potty mouth, and I kinda like it.

Sunday evening, Queen B released a new song on Tumblr, "Bow Down/I Been Down," and there's a mass hysteria a-flowin' from the general public over it, as one would expect. It's freakin' Beyoncé.

I mean, who doesn't love themselves a new Bey track? Well, apparently in this case, a lot of folks.

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Like To Cry? Watch This New Glen Campbell Video

Glen Campbell's long slow goodbye has been going on now for a little more than a year, since he announced he was suffering from Alzheimer's. "A Better Place" is the second video from Glen Campbell's 2011 album Ghost On The Canvas, and it's a tearjerker.

It's the goodbye.

Featuring Queens of the Stone Age's Josh Homme as a bartender, the clip sees Mr. Campbell looking through a scrapbook of pictures of himself throughout his long country and pop career. These are things he may not even remember himself.

Damn, Bobbie Gentry was a hottie.

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