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Roving local flash-mob, hit and run graffiti boogie lords SexyAttack recently hit up the infamous “disco Kroger” on Montrose.

Ironically, the management at this most oontz-oontzy, dance-friendly of supermarkets was not amused.

Check out the video after the jump.

If you're up for some mildly entertaining, somewhat informative, hardly revelatory Internet browsing - and really, who isn't? - take a gander at one Yahoo! columnist's ranking of the 23 "weirdest" musicians in the en-tar world, y'all. (23? That's all he could come up with?) And give yourself a nice big fat pat on the back, Houston. We've landed three on the list, more than any other city save noted fruitcake capitals L.A. and London, and way more than Dallas or Austin, which both clock in with a glittering goose egg.

One "Robert of the Radish" defines "weirdness" as "behavior that the majority of the population finds foreign, unnatural or strange." You don't say! He continues:

On Tuesday, one of the most important contributors to the development of most popular Western music and culture in general passed away at 102 years of age at his home in Switzerland. I am speaking, of course, of Albert Hoffman, the Swiss chemist who invented LSD.

Think where the world would be without Hoffman’s accidental breakthrough. In music alone, there would have been no 13th Floor Elevators, no San Francisco Summer of Love, no drastic innovation in the Beatles sound after the release of Help! (and thus no Revolver, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, White Album, or Abbey Road, at least not as we know them), no Hendrix, no Pet Sounds, no “Paint It Black” or “She’s a Rainbow” from the Stones, no Sly and the Family Stone, no Pink Floyd or P-Funk and on and on and on.

It appears our boy Rocket has outdone himself this time. Or did about a decade ago, when according to the New York Post, Clemens began blasting off with third-tier Nashville singer Mindy McCready. Also, McCready was about 15 at the time. Clemens, through his ever-vigilant attorneys, insists she's a "family friend." Ick. This might be the juciest, most unpleasant Southern celebrity affair since Burt and Loni's divorce.

The Post reports Clemens and McCready have had a "close" relationship dating to 1996, when the would-have-been Hall of Famer encountered the underage blonde bombshell - who eventually, um, scored with "Guys Do It All the Time" and "Maybe, Maybe Not" - onstage at a southern Florida karaoke bar. It doesn't get much more redneck than that, y'all. Except when McCready later went to jail for forging an OxyContin prescription and trying to claw her mother's eyes out, and Clemens allegedly had dudes injecting all sorts of suspect chemicals into his rear end.

Anyway, athletes don't dally with entertainers near as often as models and ex-beauty queens, but it does happen. The circumstances generally aren't quite as creepy as Clemens' entanglement, but there is safety in numbers. Right, um, "Rocket"?

Last week we gave you the vegans. This week, the designated drivers:

David Bowie
Eric Dolphy
Davey Havok (also a vegan)
Elton John
Chris Martin

Ted Nugent
Donny Osmond
Jade Puget
Henry Rollins
Gene Simmons

Back in January, I plugged the names of Houston musicians into the endlessly amusing but mostly pointless site Googlism and generated a few poems composed entirely of the collective conventional wisdom of the web. (Read the results here.)

This time, it's the turn of Kenny Rogers, King's X and Mickey Gilley....

This past year, two of my very best and oldest friends that I grew up with in Pittsburgh got married, one in Chicago and one in Austin.

The Chicago wedding took place in a basement theater of the city’s main public library. Vows were exchanged onstage after bride and bridegroom sang a rousing rendition of the John Prine and Iris Dement duet “In Spite of Ourselves.”

The Austin wedding and reception occurred outside in an idyllic field. The couple, whose anniversary is tomorrow, danced their first dance as newlyweds to “Blue Eyes” by Gram Parsons.

Bryan Adams
Fiona Apple
Cedric Bixler
Geezer Butler
Common

Michael Franti
Robin Gibb
Ben Gibbard (lead singer of Death Cab for Cutie)
John S. Hall (frontman for King Missile)
Davey Havok (singer for AFI)
Chrissie Hynde

I dunno, the kid kinda had it comin’. -- JNL

Today is Record Store Day, a nationwide promotion where independent music retailers want you to forget that your house is in foreclosure and gasoline is more expensive than champagne and buy some tunes using something other than a mouse. If you've forgotten how, don't bother asking your kids. It's really very simple: browse the thousands of vinyl and CD selections on offer, bring your selections to the counter and hand your cash or credit card. Believe it or not, people used to do this a lot.

The genre known as soul blues – the modern-day Bobby Bland / Little Milton-style blues you hear on KCOH and KTSU, and in the little hole in the wall bars all over Houston -- might be one of the last redoubts of consistently great album covers out there.

The music on these records tends to be about sex, often more specifically about cheating, and the covers bear that out. Usually there’s a healthy dose of humor on these records too, and once again, the covers tell the story. And tell stories they do. The goal with many of these is to present us with an, um, adult situation, in one single image, and the very best of them succeed totally. The covers stimulate your salacious curiosity -- you just have to hear these picture-stories told at length. And so you buy the album

Here’s a baker’s dozen of the best we know of. -- John Nova Lomax

The virtues of satellite radio are too numerous to list here, but besides commercial-free episodes of American Top 40 with Casey Kasem every Saturday and Sunday, Bob Dylan's Theme Time Radio Hour and Tom Petty's Buried Treasure all day Wednesdays and Thursdays and the dormant-but-back-soon all-Led Zeppelin channel, XM Radio subscribers currently have the pleasure of all the George Strait they can handle.

To mark last Tuesday's release of Strait's latest album, Troubador, one of XM's six country channels has given itself over to King George until June 1. Now operating under the handle Strait Country, XM 17 is normally known as U.S. Country and traffics in country hits from the '80s and '90s, so it's not exactly a huge stretch. Put your boots up and stay awhile...

11:12 p.m., "The Cowboy Rides Away": As good an introduction to the Strait canon as any, a down-at-the-mouth ballad where the cowboy doesn't get the girl. Plays over the end credits of 1992's Pure Country, Strait's lone cinematic starring role notable mostly for his completely non-characteristic ponytail, a punk rocker (X's John Doe) playing his best friend / drummer and Friday Night Lights' Kyle Chandler as the would-be usurper to King George's throne.

We’re changing the way we do things around here.

For one thing, I will be posting at least once a day, maybe more. I will also strive to make this as local as possible.

To do so, I would greatly appreciate your help. As always, we welcome your mp3s. Please send them to me at john.lomax@houstonpress.com, and I promise we will post them. (Please specify if you want them to be downloadable.) These can be hip-hop, any flavor of rock, any flavor of Latin, country, roots, world music – any style. Consider it an online listening party.

If this article is any indication, any of you local musos playing oil company shindigs in Halliburton’s new hometown and our upstart rival as the energy capital of the world had better not attend or play any jam band shows, eat at Last Concert, or go anywhere near Devin the Dude in the weeks before you head to the airport:

A couple of weeks ago, we groused in Racket about the complete lack of music-related state historical markers in Houston, and even cited Frenchtown as an appropriate spot to put one up.

I am happy to report that since some time last year, the lack has not, in fact, been complete. Reader Tracey Robertson steered me to a link wherein this pic is posted: