Friday, Oct. 30 2009 @ 7:30AM
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| Sorry, we couldn't resist... |
King of R&B. Ghostwriter supreme. Pop genius. Unabashed sex fiend. Bump 'n' grind horndog. Acquited pedophile. Ultimately, history will decide whether or not R. Kelly deserves some, all, or any of these labels, but here are two facts that aren't in dispute: 1) the guy has written and produced some of the sauciest, raunchiest, funniest songs in recent memory, and 2) that June's
The Demo Tape mixtape - Kells' first - was an unforgivable piece of garbage.
Since doing his fanbase a solid with 2007's
Double Up, Kells has been busy (improbably) beating a child sex-abuse rap and polishing the oft-delayed
Untitled, due out December 1. Now he's embarked on a full-scale tour, which means his road crew will have to do tons of trim coordination and that you, the R. Kelly ticket holder, must exercise your unalienable right to demand unrealistic song covers during the show. Here are a few suggestions:
Leona Lewis, "Bleeding Love"
Doesn't matter that this is a no-frills, no-kink pop song about a lover's distress originally sung by a British songbird. Kells could kill this, just totally knock it out of the park. Obviously, "bleeding" could be swapped out for "skeeting," completely and utterly warping and tarting up the core message of the tune.
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