The Reality Bites Soundtrack at 20: The Good, the Bad and the Totally '90s

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This week marks the 20th anniversary of the release of Reality Bites, Houston's cinematic "'90s moment" starring Ethan Hawke's grunge locks and Winona Ryder's doily dress. It's a flawed film, and rather unsatisfying at times, but it's hardly without its charms -- quite like Houston itself, one might say.

Today, it's remembered fondly by many not so much as a classic love story or intimate portrait of life in our city, but as a perfect, time-capsule snapshot of our mass-culture conceptions of success, love and self-expression in the early '90s, before the whole decade lost its damn mind towards the end there.

But hey, we here at Rocks Off ain't film critics. What about the tunes?


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Brrr! The 10 Skimpiest Costumes at Something Wicked

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Photos by Marco Torres
What is it about EDM that compels folks to walk around in their unmentionables?

Houston's second annual Halloween EDM festival, Something Wicked, took place over the weekend at Sam Houston Race Park, and boy did we ever get an eyeful. Both guys and gals chose to suffer through the somewhat chilly night by wearing nothing more than a bra, a cape, and a pair of undies. Rocks Off stopped several festival attendees and asked them to bare it all for our photographer's camera.


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The Weeknd at Bayou Music Center, 9/25/13

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Photos by Julian Bajsel
The Weeknd, Banks
Bayou Music Center
September 25, 2013

There were signs posted outside the Bayou Music Center Tuesday night that read "Tonight Show Contains Mature Content." Now, when it comes to an artist who seemingly knows no boundaries when it comes to lyrical content, a "mature content" caveat is one of the things that comes with the territory. The Weeknd, after all, is one of the few songwriters who rivals Kanye in the "did he really just say that?" category.

That said, it was a weird sign to have posted up on the doors. It's the type of sign that gets the mind turning, half to wonder how mature things might get, and half to worry if this is going to be one of those shows where tits and ass are the smoke and mirrors used to distract from an underwhelming live show.

Whatever expectations might have been set, the show itself was something almost completely different. The Weeknd may write songs focusing more on lust than love and the dark side of romance, and while Kiss Land may in fact be a dark place, live the man knows how to have a good time.


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Musicians' Five Greatest Drunken Moments

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Photo by Marc Brubaker
Florence Welch, sans tequila, at Bayou Music Center in May 2012
For better or worse, I recently began to think about my last three birthdays in a row and realized that I've been blackout drunk throughout all three. It's not something I do often, but when my friends and I get together for a special occasion, it turns into something akin to The Hangover.

Which I guess is why I can relate so well to Florence Welch of Florence + The Machine fame. Back in July, the British singer known for both her album Lungs and her actual lungs found herself the subject of a viral video wherein she sings Daft Punk's "Get Lucky" after downing more than a few tequila shots.

It's a great alcohol-induced moment featuring a famous musician, and bad karaoke is something to which I'm sure we can all relate. That being said, it simply joins a pantheon of great drunken moments featuring famous musicians. Here are five of the best.


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Bushwick Bill's Five Most Unhinged Geto Boys Verses

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These men can't be stopped.
The Geto Boys' performance at this year's Free Press Summer Festival was fun and all, but there's no question something was missing. Namely, a sawed-off, fun-loving sociopath by the name of Bushwick Bill, the diminutive, one-eyed rapper and dancer who's been an indelible element of the group's off-kilter energy since its earliest days. Scarface and Willie D are true legends of Southern hip-hop, to be sure. But it just ain't the Geto Boys without one Dr. Wolfgang Von Bushwickin the Barbarian Mother Funky Stay High Dollar Billstir.

At the fest, rumors ran rampant as to Bushwick's absence. Many speculated that he'd been arrested for one reason or another, a belief exacerbated by Scarface's playful jab from the stage that the dwarf had been busted backstage for weed possession. Others near me expressed shock that Bill was still alive at all. Though the rapper's checkered reputation might have made even the wildest of excuses believable, it turned out that he'd simply showed up late. Bummer.


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The Hottest Censored Album Covers, 1981-Present (NSFW)

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The censored version of Beady Eye's BE cover.
Longtime readers of Rocks Off might remember that back in 2009 we ran thorough look at censored album covers that spanned the years of 1966 to 1980, with two more recent covers at the end. Of course, album covers didn't stop being censored just as frequently after 1980, and the two examples in our first list -- Guns N' Roses' Appetite for Destruction and the Coup's Party Music -- are certainly not the only ones to be hastily covered up and/or recalled in response to controversy.

Since it's been a few years and this sort of controversy is rearing its ugly head once again thanks to the new album from ex-Oasis front man Liam Gallagher's band Beady Eye, it seemed appropriate to revisit the idea by filling in the blanks over the last 30 years, so this list picks up at 1981.


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Top Five Totally Legit Porn-Star Music Videos

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Creative Commons
So apparently actor Jonah Falcon is packin' heat in his pants. No, we're not talking about the kind of heat that the NRA and Ted Nugent endorse -- this is not that kind of blog. We mean packing heat in more of a "huge cock" kind of way.

Unfortunately for Falcon, his 13.5 inches of man-meat can be mistaken for the kind of heat you don't want to be packing in the security line at the airport. In July 2012, he was awkwardly frisked TSA-style when airport security mistakenly believed the penis wrapped around his thigh was a different kind of weapon. Whoops.

It wouldn't be the first time Falcon has had awkward run-ins courtesy of his bottle-rocket, though. As the guy known for (unofficially) having the world's largest penis -- the Guinness Book of World Records doesn't tally package sizes, apparently -- the gentleman has spent nearly his entire life contending with his unruly Mini-Me.


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So We're Twerking In Unicorn Suits Now, Are We?

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The original onesie twerker; Miley stole all her glory.
I suppose if you're going to post a twerking video taken while you're wearing your footy pajamas, they should be of the unicorn variety. It makes the whole thing more magical.

In case you've been living under a rock (or have a job that requires you to do more than watch YouTube videos all day), Miley Cyrus has done us a solid by uploading a Twitter video of -- you guessed it -- her twerking skills while wearing a unicorn onesie. Yeah, I know. It fucks with my mind too.


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Getting to Know Nine Inch Nails All Over Again Through Ancient YouTube Footage

Categories: Adults Only!

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With the coming return of Trent Reznor's Nine Inch Nails to the touring and recording grind, fan excitement is at a high. It's almost as high as it was when NIN finally followed up the massive Downward Spiral with The Fragile double disc in 1999, or when they returned again six years after that for With Teeth.

Rewind:

Six Songs That Should Be On a Nine Inch Nails Greatest-Hits Album


At this moment, the band continues to add festival dates around the world, and a full-scale arena tour of the U.S. is in the cards with legendary guitarist Adrian Belew and bassist Eric Avery installed onstage.

Of course, Reznor has been very busy in the four years since NIN's last "farewell for a while" tour. There was the Oscar that he and Atticus Ross won for scoring The Social Network, and two How to Destroy Angels releases.

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Chubby Checker, the Man Who Killed the Boner App

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There's no way to say this in a ladylike fashion, so fuck it.

Because someone, somewhere wants me to make middle-school boner jokes today, Chubby Checker of "Twist" fame is suing Hewlett-Packard and Palm for releasing the "Chubby Checker," an app used to estimate a dude's potential boner size by measuring his foot. (Apparently the whole "judge a man by his shoe size" old wives' tale is true. Who knew?)

Marketed by its ability to support different units of measurement depending on your region, the app promises to help eliminate that whole "awkward disappointment with his mini-me" thing that we ladies so often face.

But don't issue that collective sigh just yet, ladies. The boner app has been off the market since September 2012, essentially ruining the lives of millions of women who weren't even aware the damn thing even existed.


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