If Bands Sponsored NFL Teams: The AFC

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Recently Vince Neil got approval to start his own Arena Football League franchise in Las Vegas. No word yet on the branding, but we here at Rocks Off are obviously hoping that, like the L.A. KISS, it will be themed around Neil's band Motley Crue.

For those not in the know, the L.A. KISS is KISS' own AFL team, and themed around the band's massive brand. I personally love this idea, and it got me thinking: what if the NFL was equally devoted to music, with bands buying the teams and shaping their images? And if this happened, what would those teams look like?

We decided to reinvent all 32 teams in the league based around their existing personas, and the bands that would (obviously) best fit them. Since Houston's own Texans are a member of the AFC, we'll start off with that conference, then move on to the NFC later.


Photo by Groovehouse
Buffalo Bills: Bon Jovi
Because Jon Bon Jovi is buying your team, this is what you have to live with now, Bills fans.

Miami Dolphins: Will Smith
The Fresh Prince is not only most definitely wealthy enough to buy his own team and style it after himself, he's also a noted fan of Miami itself.

New England Patriots: DJ Khaled
Why DJ Khaled? Cause all he does is win, just like the obnoxiously dynastic Patriots, who have refused to stop being one of the best teams in the NFL for 12 years running.

New York Jets: Paul McCartney and Wings
This one was too easy. "Jet"? Really? Perfect theme for this team.


Baltimore Ravens: Judas Priest
"Breaking the Law" should be this team's theme song. Those of us with long memories still haven't forgotten the Ray Lewis trial, while those of us with short memories can just look to Ray Rice.

Cincinnati Bengals: Survivor
"Eye of the Tiger," anyone?

Cleveland Browns: Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band
The Chicago Cubs are known as the "Lovable Losers" of the MLB, but in the NFL, no team is more fitting than the Cleveland Browns. That's why I picked Bob Seger, for his song "Beautiful Loser." No matter how many losing seasons they have, Browns fans never give up.

Pittsburgh Steelers: Metallica
The Steelers, of course, need a righteously metal band to represent them, and who better and more capable of buying a team than Metallica themselves?

Story continues on the next page.

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