The Five Most Repellent Things Ted Nugent Has Ever Done

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Photo by Jim Bricker
The Nuge at House of Blues, 2013

If your favorite gun store was out of ammo this morning, it's because Ted Nugent is back in town. The Motor City Madman rumbles into House of Blues tonight, and he's sure to bring the requisite shitload of guitar solos and flaming arrows with him.

And hey, that's great -- at least it was, 40 years ago. "Stranglehold" is great, sure, but "Cat Scratch Fever" was pretty stupid from the get-go, and if he's had a hit since that one, it hasn't cracked the rotation over at 107.5 The Eagle yet.

Then again, who cares? Over the last decade or so, old Ted has become far better known for the outrageous noises coming out of his mouth than for the slightly louder outrageous sounds blasting out of his amplifiers. The transplanted Texan has made his views on Democrats, immigrants, minorities and the 2nd Amendment painfully clear many times over, to the point that his right-wing blowhard act is getting as tired as his music. He's become so predictable that it's getting hard to work up much distaste for his antics, let alone outrage.

And frankly, that's no fun. That's why we here at Rocks Off have done the Nuge a solid and pulled an age-old music biz trick to out of the hat to revive a little interest -- the greatest hits package! In order to work yourself up into the proper hysterical mindset to love/loathe Nugent's show tonight, please peruse five of the most hilariously repellent and curiously hypocritical choices that Ted has made over the years. Why? Well, because that's virtually all of the entertainment we can wring out of the guy these days -- watching and waiting to see when he'll stoop to a new low.

Get your tickets now, folks: tonight could be the night!


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5. The Nuge Runs Afoul of Homeland Security
At an NRA meeting in St. Louis in 2012, Nugent was doing his usual shtick, advocating guns for all and a Democrat-free government. Surrounded by his closest allies in the fight against non-Nugentness, Ted reached deep into his sack of hyperbole and pulled out an apparently solemn vow that he intended to inspire his fellow heat-packers to get Obama out of office: Via the voting booth, preferably, but by any means necessary.

"If Barack Obama becomes the next president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year," Nugent said, sounding tougher than a two-dollar steak.

It was probably the nicest thing the Nuge said about the president all week. This time, though, the violent connotations of his statement were enough to get the Secret Service interested in just how seriously Ted takes this stuff. The Homeland Security agency took time out of its busy schedule to meet with Nugent and gently remind him that while political criticism is protected speech, threatening the president with violence is highly illegal.

Shockingly, Nugent did not make good on his totally credible promise to take up arms and fight on until death or prison upon Obama's reelection. Then again, as the Secret Service concluded, his words are pretty meaningless.


4. Ted's Inhuman Remarks
It's no secret that Ted Nugent enjoys hobnobbing with politicians, or that politicians enjoy hobnobbing with virtually any celebrity who can draw a crowd. That's why Texas candidate for governor Greg Abbott decided having Ted around on the primary season campaign trail would be a barrel full of laughs for all involved. Abbott found out the hard way, however, that Nugent's talent for publicity can be something of a double-edged sword.

In an interview with Guns.com (duh!), Teddy Bear referred to a politician of mixed-race heritage as a "subhuman mongrel." Naturally, that politician was the President. Now, if you're thinking that "subhuman mongrel" sounds like the kind of racist bullshit that the KKK would have to say about Barack, you'd be dead wrong. Even the Klan realizes that people might find that sort of language off-putting in 2014. You'd have to go back at least to the violent, vigilante Klan of the 1960s to the term "subhuman mongrel" used in public.

Now might be a cool time to mention that in 1990, Ted told the Detroit Free Press that South African apartheid "isn't that cut-and-dry. All men are not created equal."

In deference to Abbott's campaign, Nugent eventually apologized for the mongrel remark, which he claimed (straight face and everything!) had nothing to do with the President's race. He did not back off the suggestion, obviously, that perhaps Obama should suck on his machine gun.


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3. The Shit Hits the Pants
Ted Nugent likes the U.S. military. As is well-known, he likes guns a lot, and judging by his USO tours, he likes soldiers, too (even some of the brownish ones, probably). So it's no surprise that ol' Ted passionately advocates for their usage in violently exterminating all of America's enemies, real and imagined, the world over. He just ain't about to join them, even if he has to piss and shit in his pants for a fucking week to get out of it.

Nah, seriously. In 1977, the Nuge told High Times that he shat his pants on the daily in order to fail his physical and dodge the draft during the Vietnam War. And to hear him tell it, it was pretty ugly:

Then two weeks before, I stopped eating any food with nutritional value. I just had chips, Pepsi, beer -- stuff I never touched-- buttered poop, little jars of Polish sausages, and I'd drink the syrup. I was this side of death. Then a week before, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. Poop, piss, the whole shot. My pants got crusted up.

Hey, it wasn't like Ted was the only guy who got creative in order to stay out of Vietnam. We won't judge him too harshly for that. And Reagan knows, he could just be lying about the whole thing! But given the hypocritical light this little incident casts on his super-patriot warhawk persona, his pants may as well be full of shit today.


Story continues on the next page.



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21 comments
freedomfighter88
freedomfighter88

Nugent has made numerous blatantly racist remarks in the press.   More than enough to prove without a doubt his bigotry and racism.   These including the recent reference to the president of the United States  as a "sub-human mongrel."   Add to that the fact that he brags how he crapped in his own pants for a week to avoid service to our country in Viet Nam and yet now somehow advocates for wars he doesn't have to fight.

In the late 1960s, prior to his first marriage, Nugent fathered two babies out of wedlock with different teen girls.  A boy, and a girl, which he dumped into an adoption program to dispose of them.  Nugent never attempted to make any further contact.   Nugent who has bragged repeatedly about sexual relationships with underage minors even authored a song called "Jailbait" proudly detailing his child molesting behavior.  

Ted was in his 30s when he began a sexual relationship with seventeen-year-old girl in Hawaii.   Due to the fact that could not legally marry the minor Ted scammed a way to make himself her legal guardian, an arrangement that Rolling Stone magazine ranked as one of the "Sleaziest Moments in Rock History."

Chicken hawk, draft dodger, statutory rapist, self defecator, blatant bigot and racist. Other than that he a fine upstanding American!   Go with Ted more GOP, he's a perfect spokesman for the teapublician policies of lies, bigotry, poison the wells and scorch the earth.   Don't forget to keep Ted away from the underaged daughters at your rallies!

Gunnar Crew
Gunnar Crew

The Houston Press is full of douchebags. Thank you.

gumpchun
gumpchun

The Nuge made some very interesting and outstanding hard rock in the early 1970s and played a fantastic guitar. Creative, fresh and not just the usual kerrang. Sadly, after the Cat Scratch Fever album, which was only half good, the Nuge simply dropped right off the world rock-wise. The music was half-assed, lame and phoned in. Album after album of worthless filler and dreck. I stopped buying any. 

What happened? 

Well, he was not a drinker or a drugger, so he did not burn out like so many, but he lost the music plot as bad as any of the worst cokehead musicians. I could never figure out why he stopped having anything to say, musically.  

My only conclusion was his ego destroyed him. He went from being that hungry, rock-besotted, life-guzzling devotee and shaman, who loved other people's music as much as his own, to being "The Nuge," followed by acres of groupies (including an underage Courtney Love), fawning rock journalists, and worshipping musicians. 

The endless entertaining-at-first BS Nugent slung in interviews showed that, not unlike Rush Limbaugh, the sound of one's own voice can turn you into a close-minded, egotistical, blaring legend-in-your-own mind and is the enemy of true reflection, creativity and the openness that marks a great artist. He became a total bore, musically, intellectually, and now politically.  

And it has been downhill all the way. The man is a caricature of a caricature. An embarrassment to himself and his family and his fans. It's hard for me to admit I ever liked him to my friends. And all without his doing any drugs. 

Beware the ravages of ego, it can be as deadly as heroin.

But do buy his early stuff with the Amboy Dukes, the stuff before Columbia Records, and the following Columbia big releases: Ted Nugent (one of the best hard rock albums in history), Free-for-All, and Double Live Gonzo. Check out his early live bootlegs from the 1970s as well. 

The man was a giant until about 1977-1978. Once he became The Nuge, he had nothing, and i mean NOTHING left to say. And he proves it right up to today. 

mcs8080
mcs8080

Get rid of your personal bias!  We don't need to hear your personal views.  Can't you just inform the fans in Houston that a national act is coming to town?


D-bag!

emclib
emclib

I was a big Ted fan when I was 12 years old. I'm glad I grew out of that.

RoosterMcGee
RoosterMcGee topcommenter

Not sure this list is much different than any celebrity his age...  You can try this reversed for a liberal celebrity like Jay-Z and I'm sure it would be a hell of a lot worse!

freedomfighter88
freedomfighter88

Chicken hawk, draft dodger, statutory rapist, self defecator, blatant bigot and racist. Other than that he a fine upstanding American!   Go with Ted more GOP, he's a perfect spokesman for the teapublician policies of lies, bigotry, poison the wells and scorch the earth.   Don't forget to keep Ted away from the underaged daughters at your rallies!

yourmanrush
yourmanrush

Hi Bert! You chugging down the flesh flute? Got a problem with his facts, point out where he's wrong or STFU, pussy. 

yourmanrush
yourmanrush

@mcs8080 National act? I thought this was Nugent....and he stopped filling stadiums decades ago. Like the GOP, he's a fossil. 

Nath.P.
Nath.P.

@RoosterMcGee Really? When did Jay-Z call a president a "mongrel cracker" or threaten to take him out "by any means necessary"?

RoosterMcGee
RoosterMcGee topcommenter

@Anse @RoosterMcGee ...yes thats extremely gross, but cmon!  Who gives a "shit" about that?!  I could give "2 shits" about Nuggent...I just wish HP would be fair and balanced on political posts.  As bad as all this seems....it's really nothing compared to a lot of folks out there. 

Nath.P.
Nath.P.

@RoosterMcGee @Anse Facts are facts. Facts do not have bias. The fact is that Ted Nugent, who loves to rant about guns and killing people overseas, could not put his money where his mouth was when it came time to serve his country. In MY opinion, that makes him a coward and a hypocrite.

Anse
Anse

@RoosterMcGee @Anse Oh goddamn. Go read WorldNutDaily or something. You have a problem with how the story is written, go ahead and tell us what it is. But all this bullshit about fairness and balance and all that crap is 90 proof bull. It's a big internet, dude. You can find whatever Teabagger nutjob crap you want out there. You don't have to hang out here.

Nath.P.
Nath.P.

@RoosterMcGee @Anse Well, your opinion is "I'm sure other people are just as bad! I can't find any examples of libruls acting like this, but I'm sure it's true. Also, I think it's okay that Ted Nugent adopted an underage girl so he could have sex with her, and it's okay that he threatened President Obama with gun violence and murder."

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