My Man Doesn't Know How to Make Love. Help!

Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!

Photo by Mario Jaramillo

Dear Willie D:

So I graduated from college, and moved from Houston to California. It's been the best decision so far. I just feel extremely lonely here. I want friends. HELP!

Lonely Newcomer:

A good way to make friends in a new city is to start at your place of employment. Then branch out by joining clubs and organizations that interest you. If you like working out, join a gym. If you are a religious person, locate a place of worship and become a member. If you like helping people, volunteer your free time at a nonprofit.

Don't rush into anything, though. California, specifically the greater Los Angeles area, is ground zero for weirdos.


Dear Willie D:

First and foremost I have to admit that the man I'm currently dating is the best thing that ever happened to me. In a nutshell, he is a perfect gentleman. I'm catered to in every sense of the word. But here is my issue:

Physically, the sex is the bomb, but when I explain to him the difference between having sex and making love (as well as showing him what I like), we seem to cross wires. After telling and showing him, it's like he still doesn't get it.

I really don't want to leave him behind [for] something so trivial in the grand scheme of things. But simultaneously, something has got to give. Any suggestions or assistance you can give would be greatly appreciated.

Crossed Wires:

The man you're dating is the best thing that ever happened to you, and "Physically the sex is the bomb." So what's the problem? [Laughing] I'm just playing; I get it. You're a woman, and although you like it rough, sometimes you want your man to get you addicted to feeling special by taking it slow and easy while paying attention to the contours of your body, as he subliminally stimulates your mind into sexual overdrive.

You've already told your man what you want, and showed him how you want it. Women don't go backwards financially, and men don't go backwards sexually. Unfortunately, you spoiled him with the rough stuff. Consequently, he's stuck in his ways. The only logical thing to do at this point is wait and hope he comes around.

I know you're frustrated, but leaving an otherwise good man because he doesn't have "all" the bedroom skills is unreasonable, and persecuting him about it will only aggravate things. Intimacy isn't something that can be forced. Like water, it's one of the few things that can't be manufactured. It has to come natural.

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whateveryousay topcommenter

Sounds like Crossed Wires gave up fifth base and wants to go back to regulation rules to me.

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