The Funniest Things Overheard at the 2014 Juggalo Gathering
Note: this past weekend our colleagues at St. Louis' Riverfront Times risked life and limb to cover the 2014 Gathering of the Juggalos outside Thornville, Ohio.
Another Gathering of the Juggalos has come and gone, and with it thousands of face-painted, fun-loving freaks and misfits to and from the event's first year in Thornville, Ohio.
Photos by Nate "Igor" Smith unless indicated
While the move from the deep wilderness of Cave-In-Rock, Illinois, to this year's decidedly more inhabited location did make the experience seem less like being on another planet, there was still an overabundance of hilarious and strange things happening at all times.
Here are the best overheard quotations from the 2014 edition of the Gathering of the Juggalos.
"Do you guys know who I am? I'm an ugly motherfucking piece of shit and I don't give a fuck. And I came here to party."
Mike Busey, in the camouflage vest.
"I almost got lured into a gay acid orgy over shots of Fireball."
"If that bottle rocket gets near my dick I'm gonna be pissed."
"I hope there's no pee in there."
"Sell you a knife for $30."
"How many ya'll parents smoke weed? My momma still grows illegal weed in Alabama."
"At least you tried! At least you tried!"
"Fuck her right in the pussy!"
"Y'all wanna talk about politics, or you wanna see people get smashed in the face?"
"Our sexy little midget you may have seen on Hulk Hogan's Micro Championship Wrestling."
"I'm fucked up! Praise Jesus!"
"There's only one one-legged wrestler in the world."
"Lick the lint out of somebody's belly button."
"Eat somebody's fingernails."
"Bring me a poop dollar. It don't gotta be your poop; there is poop all over these grounds. Go find some."
[After digging a hole in the mud with his heel and pouring beer into it.] "Chug the mud!"
"You don't gotta whip your dick out, just act like you do and then you and a friend walk up on people."
"If you got in my face, I'd shoot you right here with the gun in my pocket. You wouldn't even see it coming. And then you know what I'd do? I'd drink a beer. And feel no emotion at all."
"I wanted to trip the cop. I mean fuck it; I got bail money."
More quotes on the next page.