My Girl Says No Sex Until Marriage. Help!

Categories: Ask Willie D

Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!

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Photo by Mario Jaramillo
SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE

Dear Willie D:

I met a young lady who is 23 years old with two kids. We have been seeing each other for about three months and I still have not rounded the bases, if you know what I mean. We were kissing one night and when I tried to take it further, she told me the next time she has sex it will be with the man she marries. I think she is full of s---. She got pregnant twice by two men who never married her, and didn't give a damn about her, or her kids. She's also been with five other men -- so she says.

Now I come along and do all the right things: treat her good, buy her nice things, and take her out, and she wants to act like Sweet Polly Purebred. I really like her a lot, but I'm not ready for marriage. At the same time I'm a man and I have needs. Should I dump her, or hang in there and see where things go from here?

Who's On First:

The last time a non-virgin celibate woman told me she was saving herself for marriage, I put it on her so good that she's probably still at home lying in bed, twisting her hair, and sucking her thumb. Instead of her bad choices in men, your girl probably thinks sex is the reason she has two kids from failed relationships. Men have hurt her in the past and rather than empowering herself to make better choices in men, she is punishing you for their mistakes.

Sometimes waiting on sex does help a woman to make better decisions. But she could also be testing you to see if you want her for more than sex. So have a candid conversation with your girl and reassure her that you'll be there for her no matter what. She already has you where she wants you, so there's really no good reason to make you wait -- unless she's getting it from somewhere else.


STRUGGLING WITH WEIGHT ISSUES

Dear Willie D:

I'm a 17-year-old girl who is 5 feet 10 inches tall and weigh 101 pounds. I struggle with my weight because I feel as though I'm supposed to be thin. I don't like how I look when I'm over 105 pounds because I look big and nasty. When I broke up with my boyfriend, I gained a lot of weight because I was depressed so I ate a lot. I was about 130 pounds -- the heaviest I have ever been in my life.

More guys started trying to talk to me, but I didn't feel attractive, and I felt like their attraction to me was all physical. My friends tell me I look good, but I don't see it. I have been diagnosed with anorexia, because I eat like an ant and sometimes not at all. But I don't want to change my eating habits to live healthier. What should I do?

Weight Struggles:

Crash diets are not the smart way to lose weight. If you want to lose weight effectively, you have to do it in a healthy manner or you will only make yourself sick. You need about 2,000 calories per day to maintain your current weight at any time. You can go under that amount, but either way you need to eat, and exercise for good measure.

It saddens me whenever I come across a young woman who is viewed as attractive by everyone but herself. Your condition is called body dysmorphic disorder. It's when people are excessively concerned with their physical appearance, and see their body in a different way than it actually is. You should get some professional help as soon as possible. Then go out and order a fat ass cheese burger with everything on it.


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12 comments
AnnaGiovanniu
AnnaGiovanniu


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KD Davis
KD Davis

You can tell if she is playing games. Houston has millions of women if you have needs. Two adults can have a relationship where love and trust coexist & sex is involved. Personally, I wouldn't waste me time with someone not on the same wavelength.

smock
smock

The "advice" given to the first letter-writer is ridiculous and offensive, bordering on grotesque. You know who thinks its appropriate to wheedle and whine until someone has sex with them? Boys, that's who.


She is an adult woman, who has made a decision she believes is right for herself. Don't like it? Be a man, accept that your needs are different, break off the relationship like an adult, and go find somewhere else to dip your wick if you're so desperate you can't keep it in your pants.

empressact
empressact

So if I understand the "advice" here properly, it's to tell this woman she's just a hysterical broad who doesn't know what she really wants because ovaries, and that she owes this cad sex because, well, that's a man's right! Also women are manipulative and structure their lives around how to best screw over men, and she's probably tricking him, not watching out for her own emotional well-being, which she can't be doing because women aren't capable of knowing their own desires.


And if these incredibly convincing overtures don't get her, just do what Willie implied he did and rape her! She'll be so happy you showed her how wrong she was.


This publication should be ashamed.

Dodd Melcher
Dodd Melcher

There's over three million women in the Houston area.

disappointed
disappointed

I disagree with and quite frankly am disappointed in the Press's choice to publish an advice column like this. It perpetuates rape culture and slut shaming, and I find it deplorable that such a high-quality publication is sacrificing integrity for page views in 2014.


Please think more in the future about the things you decide to post on here. As a woman, I felt highly uncomfortable throughout the column.

thetruthhurts
thetruthhurts

@smock @empressact Both of you need to sit down somewhere! Nowhere in the article is rape implied or suggested. What was implied is that women often get used up by other men then want to play the role of Polly Pure Bread when it comes to sex with the next man. However, if a man has the right approach he can still have consensual sex with her if he's patient and understanding. At the end of the day women want sex just as much as men do. Both of you sound like typical whores who might play such games with men after you've been ran through. That's why you're so offended by the advice given. You live in la la land. Anything short of kissing a woman's ass rubs you the wrong way. IJS.

KoryStoot
KoryStoot

@disappointed You must be a troll? Everyone knows this column is one of the best out there. Willie is smart, witty, balanced, and sometimes brings a little laughter on days it's needed most. If you are really a woman and you are really sincere you are really depressing and I feel sorry for any man who has to lie next to you each night.

Brazos
Brazos

@disappointed I don't read this column all the time but though the questions submitted may be salacious all the answers I've ever read are pretty good.

madpukka
madpukka

@thetruthhurts Haha, and here's one of those little boys who thinks he's owed sex. Hey thar genius, the answer you replied to didn't say anything about rape, before you get all twisted up by some women who think they should be able to choose they want to have sex with a guy, instead of the guy deciding it. But that would make them whores because something something pretty much you're a complete asshole. Truth hurts, don't it?

mallgent18
mallgent18

@madpukka Eat a dick! Wait a minute you might like that. Eat your mama's dick! lol

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