My Girl Says No Sex Until Marriage. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Dear Willie D:
I met a young lady who is 23 years old with two kids. We have been seeing each other for about three months and I still have not rounded the bases, if you know what I mean. We were kissing one night and when I tried to take it further, she told me the next time she has sex it will be with the man she marries. I think she is full of s---. She got pregnant twice by two men who never married her, and didn't give a damn about her, or her kids. She's also been with five other men -- so she says.
Now I come along and do all the right things: treat her good, buy her nice things, and take her out, and she wants to act like Sweet Polly Purebred. I really like her a lot, but I'm not ready for marriage. At the same time I'm a man and I have needs. Should I dump her, or hang in there and see where things go from here?
Who's On First:
The last time a non-virgin celibate woman told me she was saving herself for marriage, I put it on her so good that she's probably still at home lying in bed, twisting her hair, and sucking her thumb. Instead of her bad choices in men, your girl probably thinks sex is the reason she has two kids from failed relationships. Men have hurt her in the past and rather than empowering herself to make better choices in men, she is punishing you for their mistakes.
Sometimes waiting on sex does help a woman to make better decisions. But she could also be testing you to see if you want her for more than sex. So have a candid conversation with your girl and reassure her that you'll be there for her no matter what. She already has you where she wants you, so there's really no good reason to make you wait -- unless she's getting it from somewhere else.
STRUGGLING WITH WEIGHT ISSUES
Dear Willie D:
I'm a 17-year-old girl who is 5 feet 10 inches tall and weigh 101 pounds. I struggle with my weight because I feel as though I'm supposed to be thin. I don't like how I look when I'm over 105 pounds because I look big and nasty. When I broke up with my boyfriend, I gained a lot of weight because I was depressed so I ate a lot. I was about 130 pounds -- the heaviest I have ever been in my life.
More guys started trying to talk to me, but I didn't feel attractive, and I felt like their attraction to me was all physical. My friends tell me I look good, but I don't see it. I have been diagnosed with anorexia, because I eat like an ant and sometimes not at all. But I don't want to change my eating habits to live healthier. What should I do?
Crash diets are not the smart way to lose weight. If you want to lose weight effectively, you have to do it in a healthy manner or you will only make yourself sick. You need about 2,000 calories per day to maintain your current weight at any time. You can go under that amount, but either way you need to eat, and exercise for good measure.
It saddens me whenever I come across a young woman who is viewed as attractive by everyone but herself. Your condition is called body dysmorphic disorder. It's when people are excessively concerned with their physical appearance, and see their body in a different way than it actually is. You should get some professional help as soon as possible. Then go out and order a fat ass cheese burger with everything on it.
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