InfoWars Thinks Katy Perry & Kesha Are Illuminati Witches

Categories: Whatever

And on the pedestal these words appear -- "My name is Katy Hudson, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Look, I'm not a fan of Kesha and Katy Perry. Aside from possibly the greatest Bob Dylan cover ever the former is a musical cardboard cutout that collects fans' teeth to make jewelry, and the latter is one of the reason no one likes white people. When Snoop Dogg looks embarrassed to be in your music video you have hit a new low, because Snoop deleted that emotion decades ago and had to re-download it from some kind of spiritual iCloud just to feel it again.

That said, they are famous, and justly so, because they sing catchy songs. Terrible songs, true, but catchy as hell. I can sing the chorus of every Katy Perry song I have ever heard and know all of "Take It Off" by heart after only hearing it twice. As earworm conduits. they get full marks and all my respect. I would certainly never claim that they won their place through a vast Illuminati conspiracy.

But then again, I'm not InfoWars, who believes that the actions of these two young women are honestly part of the dreaded New World Order. That's right; Alex Jones is apparently living inside the plot of the Josie and the Pussycats movie and thinks it was a documentary.

Jones' fearection with Perry goes back to 2012 as far as I can tell. That's when the pop singer released "Part of Me." The song is a pretty typical post-breakup tune, but it did cause some controversy because of a music video that Perry filmed with U.S. Marines at Camp Pendelton. Perry's explanation was that the song is about strength and overcoming long odds, and going through Marine training was the hardest thing she could think of.

Some felt that the video was blatant military propaganda and speculated that Perry had been paid to make it. Jones, though, took that viewpoint, ran it back 80 yards and spiked it after the touchdown.

Quoted from the above video (which I watched in full for you people)...

I'm not bashing the Marines themselves, but the endless propaganda that this empire pushes, that our captured country by Goldman Sachs is pushing, the Marines aren't ours anymore. They belong to the globalists.

He then goes on to lament that in every movie that he goes to see now women are the heroes and the men are metrosexual idiots, but let's go back to that globalists comment. What does Jones mean by that?

To explain that, let's jump forward a couple of years to when Katy Perry releases "Dark Horse" with another video that is admittedly demonic-themed. You know, because that hasn't literally been a staple of rock and pop music since the beginning, but whatever.

Story continues on the next page.

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You Know Who's senting Kate to shame:

Lumpy Space Princess!>:(

Because like most of them,She's a traitor to Ooo and American and Adventure Time!

Release all the criminals from throughout the land of ooo for their duties

Elias Leal
Elias Leal

what ? yes of course you mutants feel united now ? retards United SATANIST get it ? oh shit the lights just went out in here

Els RS
Els RS

yeah that's why one was married to Russell Brand


Dancing With the Devil was written by Kesha and her mom Pebe as a diss track against Dr. Luke. He's the head of Kesha's Sony imprint label Kemosabe Records. Kesha and Pebe had written a bunch of tracks for her sophomore album Warrior. Luke stepped in saying the songs weren't commercial enough and forced Kesha back to pop and dance. That's when they wrote DWTD. 

Pebe passed the song around to fans they knew to highlight Kesha's lack of creative freedom on the album. That's one of the things that helped lead to the whole Free Kesha creative freedom petition that has more than 12,000 signatures now. DWTD is metaphorical because Kesha legally can't speak out against Luke or the label. When she backed the Free Kesha petition in a Rolling Stone interview, she chose her words very carefully. Luke then cancelled her Flaming Lips collaboration album, likely as payback. Kesha's a very talented girl who signed a terrible 8 album contract that she came to regret. The whole situation between them is a huge mess that a bunch of lawyers are currently sorting out. 

Mikey Seals
Mikey Seals

Gotta love the hilarity of Alex Jones.


Dancing With the Devil was not written with Dr. Luke. Kesha wrote it about him. She's expressing her regret at signing a contract with him when she was 18. She says she sold her soul and he's got her mind because he's been oppressing her artistically, hence her infamous "forced to sing Die Young" tweet. Kesha's been in open rebellion against Luke for about the last 18 months and is currently going through legal negotiations to break her contract with him. And after Kesha's mother revealed how Luke was abusing her daughter, I think he may want to be rid of her as well. If Kesha had her way, all her music would be rock or country like Past Lives, Wonderland and Dirty Love. The conspiracy theorists see this fight between Kesha and Luke as evidence of her being controlled by Satanic overlords rather than a greedy businessman. She trolls them with so-called Illuminati symbolism because she knows they're going to accuse her anyway.


@Donald I think I may a caused some confusion based on a tweet I saw. I meant to say a huge mess that a bunch of lawyers are "probably" currently sorting out. I don't know if lawyers are working on separating them. That's my assumption and I can't believe I forgot to qualify it with a probably. They are working things out based on a tweet from The Flaming Lips. But whether lawyers are involved or not, I don't personally know.

JefWithOneF topcommenter

@Joanne Man, you understood the videos WAY better than I did. I made a chart and everything, but now it makes way more sense. Thanks!

None of this is sarcasm, by the way. Seriously. Good job translating crazy people

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