The 10 Best '80s Cartoon Theme Songs
Remember the days when you'd set your beeping alarm watch to 6 a.m. on Saturday morning to wake up in time to catch your cartoons? Man, nothing compared to the stillness of the house in the early hours, where you could sit in peace while an animated, pizza-obsessed turtle and a rat ninja set off on a new adventure.
Yep, life in the '80s was awesome. Cartoons were mind-warped, confusing and chaotic, and the plot twists often went where children's shows should never, ever go. But that's what made them so damn fantastic. They were works of art and madness, and so worth getting up at the ass-crack of dawn for.
And really, the world didn't even need to make sense in the '80s. It just needed to be rainbow-colored and slightly scary, and everything would be all right.
10. The Smurfs
The Smurfs was a bit confusing, what with them being these fictional, tiny little blue creatures who lived in mushroom houses in the forest and all. And it was a bit disconcerting that Gargamel wanted to freakin' eat the Smurfs, but whatever. It was the '80s; shit didn't need to make any sense. Or be not scary and murderous or whatever.
But even if the creepy wizard Smurf-hunter and the plot line were confusing, the one thing that did make sense about The Smurfs was the theme song. Mainly because it was just a bunch of la, la, la, la, la, la's and some dramatic dragon action. (Okay, so that was confusing too, but tell us you didn't like it. We dare you.)
Listen, when the Autobots have got to kick the Decepticons in their wicked little asses, you need a sweet theme song to go with it. Luckily, the folks who brought us this song -- and this cartoon -- knew that rule, and served it up right.
We don't need some stupid Linkin Park theme song remake for our '80s Transformers, no siree. We'll take ours as original -- and not shitty -- as possible. Transformers...more than meets the eye.
8. Muppet Babies
Hey, remember Nanny? Eh, there's a good chance you'll only remember her legs. But you'll remember this entire Muppet Babies theme song, because it a) was awesome; and b) contained a line by every character on the show. Miss Piggy? Check. Kermit? Check. Fozzie Gonzo, and Beaker? Check, check and check. Man, the cartoons of today's generation are sorely lacking.
All we really need to say on this one is "ThunderCats, hoooooooooooooooooo!" You all know the call.
6. Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers
What is it with the '80s obsession with cartoon dragons? This theme song, performed by the '80s pop group The Jets, is also a dramatic tune about chipmunks who are gumshoe detectives with tiny Hawaiian shirts and crime-solving gear. Dale was even modeled after another great Hawaiian shirt-sporting detective, a dude known as Magnum P.I.. That should tell you everything you need to know.
This cartoon intro inspired many an '80s kid to think that if he or she were just able to make enough money to have a room full of gold coins, he or she could swim in that ho. It's not true, guys. Don't try it. It was totally limited to Scrooge McDuck's fancy money, not your pennies. You cannot swim in pennies.
Still awesome, though.
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