The 10 Worst Musical Comebacks of All Time

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We'll get to you in October, Vince, Tommy, et. al.
Don't call it a comeback...because it sucked.

Sometimes it's hard to remember that "less is more," especially when you're a retired musician. It can be easy to find yourself pining away for the spotlight and those glory days of old, but we really would advise you to think twice before hitting the comeback circuit, lest you become one of these poor folks below. So many things can go wrong and, apparently, very little can go right.

So our wayward, nostalgic musician friends. Please make sure you're good and ready to face the world again before you emerge from the bowels of a previous decade, or else this could happen.


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10. KISS, Sonic Boom
So, it's not like KISS really went anywhere, per se. After all, Gene Simmons is always making headlines for something KISS-related. We all remember those KISS coffins, or KISS Kaskets if you will. But when only two members of KISS release an album, and it's the first album that the band has released in 11 years, and that album is exclusively sold on Walmart shelves...you do the math.


9. Limp Bizkit, Stampede of the Disco Elephants
There was really no need for Limp Bizkit to attempt a comeback. They were gone, and life was good. But the nu-metal fools who brought you Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water are trying it anyway, despite all signs pointing to no.

Hopefully it won't go very far, because the first single "Ready to Go," was, well, the literal worst. If history is any indicator, they'll have followed up this awful single with an awful album in July 2014, when it's slated to drop.

Go home, Limp Bizkit. You're drunk and hallucinating about disco elephants again.


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8. Billy Idol, Devil's Playground
Some things are just better left in the '80s, like Billy Idol's music. That's right, folks. Devil's Playground sucked, and we could have done without that entire mess. Too bad he didn't just sing "Dancing With Myself" on every track, because that would have made it the best comeback album ever.


7. Grandmaster Flash, The Bridge (Concept of a Culture)
Grandmaster Flash seems to pop up every ten years or so with a new album and it never quite works out the way one would hope, as on this 2009 attempt. Not even Q-Tip or Busta Rhymes could save that sinking ship, although not for lack of trying.


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6. Mazzy Star, Seasons of Your Day
OK, maybe Mazzy Star's 2013 album, wasn't the worst comeback attempt of all time, but that's mainly because they were so good back in the '90s. But you can't just take that dreamy, aloof sound that worked so well a couple of decades ago, slap it on another album and call it a day. A good comeback has to have some growth to it.

Unfortunately, Seasons didn't test any boundaries or explore any new territory; it was just the same old Mazzy Star, and boring to boot. So as exciting as it was that Mazzy Star was back to making music, the comeback album was decidedly less so.


5. Bauhaus, Go Away White
Go Away White was Bauhaus's final album as a band, coming after about a billion years of nothing. Awesome, right? No, because this album sounded nothing like Bauhaus. You've got Mazzy Star releasing an album that sounded like they'd never left the '90s, and then Bauhaus sounding like an entirely different band. Can't these guys find some middle ground here? And how can you release an album after 15 on hiatus and then just not tour to promote the damn thing?


List continues on the next page.

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3 comments
gossamersixteen
gossamersixteen topcommenter

How awesome is it you slam a band for sounding too similar to their own body of work (Mazzy star) and then the next one you complain it sounds nothing like their other recordings (bauhaus).  Your logic is impeccable, maybe you should look for another line of work?

ghost_of_dolemite
ghost_of_dolemite

Artists, especially commercial artists who capitalize on their talents, reserve the right to make new material. These artists will do so, regardless of what any blogger with the same stolen, contemptuous voice of criticism every other "writer" under the age of 27 uses when attempting to write something of merit. These individuals, will rightfully continue catering to their existing fan base. Same way crayon-written pretentiousness will continue to discourage free thought, and ham up the too-cool-for-school 'tude as a job skill, instead of recognizing it as a socially inept character flaw. You really want to show your weight as a music critic? Find something positive to say about these upcoming projects, that give the negative legitimate gravitas. Anybody with a pen can write "Limp Bizkit and Axl Rose should never make music again", and before you even state why, the general consensus will have agreed with you 13 years ago. They are way too easy targets.

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