Old Testament Tales That Fit Today's Musicians

In April 2014, one of the hottest figures in Hollywood is an old-timer called God. He's the subject of Noah and God's Not Dead, two films that have somewhat surprisingly charted multimillion-dollar grosses this Easter season.

Whether the actors and producers are true believers isn't the point. Their personal salvation might not be assured, but it seems their bottom lines have been saved by bringing The Big Guy to the big screen. But in secular music entertainment, God's archrival gets all the run.

Whether the Stones are sympathizing with him or Jay-Z is illuminating on him, Satan rules, and folks like Jimmy Page and Ozzy Osbourne have ridden Old Scratch's coattails all the way to the bank. The only time music artists ever mention God is when they're receiving a trophy at some awards show, right before they head off to a drug-laden orgy.

Just how hot is The Dude in 2014? Hotter than hell, it seems. Movies in the works will soon relate Bible-based tales about Abel and Cain, Pontius Pilate and Moses to apparently eager audiences.

It might be time for modern music to get the spirit and wax musically/philosophically on some religious themes. The Man Upstairs is marketable and profitable now, so here are some choices for who should turn Biblical tales into musical streets of gold.

I've no idea whether the Victim of Love soul singer is a religious man, but I'm not sure there's a better choice to deliver the story of Job in music. If you don't know the story or you're just a forgetful heathen, here's a refresher: Job was the original hard-luck case. Like Louis Winthorpe in Trading Places, he had a good, cushy life until God and the Devil started acting like Randall and Mortimer Duke and he lost everything. Just like Winthorpe. Ultimately, his faith helped him return to a happy and prosperous life. Just like Winthorpe!

Bradley's story is well-known by now. He devoted himself to music as a young man, patterning himself after James Brown. But he was cursed with family deaths, homelessness and odd jobs (including impersonating James Brown) while waiting for his break. It finally came when Daptone signed Bradley, who appears at iFest on May 3 (a Saturday), and his live shows became legendary. I don't know if Job ever sang the blues, but if he did, he probably sounded like Charles Bradley.

Public Domain
Daniel Dans la Fosse aux Lions, c. 15th-century France
IMMORTAL TECHNIQUE (Daniel In the Lion's Den)
Daniel was a devout believer in The Sky Daddy and was known to pray daily; he was also an up-and-comer in the administration of King Darius. So like anyone doing well, Daniel had haters, who figured they could take him out by urging Darius to enact a 30-day law that banned prayer. The haters knew Daniel would be unable to resist.

But Daniel was a man of conviction, so he middle-fingered that law and kept on a-prayin'. He was arrested and thrown into the lion's den to be devoured. His devotion kept him safe, though. The next morning, when it was revealed he had not become lion chow, Darius freed him and threw the haters into the den, where the lions' short-lived fast ended with a big ol' feast.

Like Daniel, the rapper known as Immortal Technique is viewed as a man of principle. And, like Daniel, it has served him well. He's built a successful independent career with uncompromising rhymes that focus on social and global issues. To prove he spits more than lip service, he's involved in charitable work with a variety of human-rights groups.

More Bible stories on the next page.

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