10 Songs We'd Like to Hear at Astros Games This Season

stros560.jpg
Photo by Keith Allison/Flickr Commons
Go get 'em, guys...

Last year's Houston Astros were beyond bad, the second-worst season ever by a franchise n Major League Baseball's recorded history. That should give you this blog's frame of reference, which will be long on hope and short on snark. If you want to read a bunch of shitty comments about how bad the team was or may be this season, head over to Deadspin.

I'm a homer when it comes to my sports teams. I've been an Astros fan since Bob Watson and Doug "The Red Rooster" Rader played the corners. We used to sit in the centerfield seats so Mom could amuse Cesar Cedeno by speaking to him in Spanish between pitches. She got him to converse a few times while dad would be guzzling down some Dome Foam and teaching us how to log the game on the scorecard.

So, yeah, this devotion runs deep. I wish the squad well and hope their progress this season will be acknowledged by possibly hearing the following songs at Minute Maid Park in 2014:


Foster the People, "Coming of Age"
The new Foster the People track would be a fine walk-up song for whichever Astros player becomes the team's breakout star; let's hope there will be at least one. (My guess is third baseman Matt Dominguez.) That "feels like, feels like I'm coming of age" chorus is perfect for hailing the next big thing.


Pink Floyd, "Money"
When the team goes on its wildly unanticipated run of wins, this song should be played after each one. Baseball's pundits like to make a big deal over the Astros' payroll, which is lower than most -- okay, all -- MLB teams. It's a sign that the ownership isn't committed to winning, they say. But if a team wins with a low payroll, a la Moneyball, everyone's a genius.

I'd be stoked to hear that rhythmic cash register and those familiar guitar riffs right as the 'Stros record the last out of a win. It would be a big foam middle finger from general manager Jeff Luhnow to those who believe you have to throw money at anything to make it worthwhile.


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Photo by Keith Allison, Flickr Commons
Tired of y'all's bullshit: Former Oriole, current Astro L.J. Hoes
Jay-Z, "Money, Cash, Hoes"
If you ain't up on your Astros, you may be unfamiliar with L.J. Hoes. He's an outfielder and single-handedly destroyed the Mets in one of the last spring training games of the season. He's fully aware his last name is Hoes, so don't go there. Hoes is still trying to make a name for himself apart from his name, so back the hell up, haters.

Still,...there's some indication he once walked up to this throwback jam in his minor league days. I hope L.J. crushes it this season so he can take back his name and be cool with "Money, Cash, Hoes" being played in homage, in an entirely appropriate context, at the old ball game this year.

According to Baseball America, Hall of Famer Lou Brock once stepped into the batter's box to Isaac Hayes' "Theme from Shaft." I don't think anyone's walk up music could be more badass than that; but, "Money, Cash, Hoes" would be a real close second.


The Script, "Hall of Fame"
Grossman, Guzman and Fowler. That's not a law firm, it's a few of the 2014 Houston Astros. Maybe they aren't household names yet, but they need you in the stadium, eating hot dogs and cheering them on to more victories than last season.

This 2012 song may be a little schlocky, but the chorus encourages self-improvement. No harm in that for a team coming off the worst record in the league.


List continues on the next page.


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Minute Maid Park

501 Crawford, Houston, TX

Category: General

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