Music's Got 99 Problems, and Jay Z Ain't One

According to a recent report, Justin Bieber's mom -- who we'll just call Mama Bieber -- is planning to launch her music career.

Yes, that means exactly what you think it does. Two Biebers will be working the fame-whore stroll -- probably together, since rumor has it that they're recording a duet. We know what you're thinking: The world doesn't need a Bieber duet, and we'd have to agree with you. The last thing we want to see is more Bieber headlines, about mother or son. They've done enough already.

And the idea of a Bieber duet may be a travesty, but so are a lot of things happening in music at the moment. Miley's tongue shoved down Katy Perry's throat is a prime example. So much wrong; so little right.

So you may be having girl problems, and we do indeed feel bad for you, son. But the real issue here is that music's got 99 problems, and a bitch still ain't one.

99. Chief Keef

98. Future's Honesty

97. '90s nostalgia

96. Mama Bieber

95. Justin Bieber's tattoos

94. Lists

93. Overpriced summer festivals

92. 2 Chainz

91. Egos

90. FM

89. Timber

88. RiFF RaFF's braids

87. Tribute albums

86. Tour riders

85. Groupies

84. Lana Del Rey

83. Man-leggings

82. Skrillex hair

81. Digital technology

80. Celebrity cruises

79. The Voice

78. Irony

77. Farrah Abraham, aka Teen Mom

76. "Fan experiences"

List continues on the next page.

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