I Don't Want My Kids Anymore. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Dear Willie D:
I moved from Los Angeles to Houston about six years ago to put my past in the rearview and get a fresh start on life. My cousin helped me get a good job, I bought a condo in a nice neighborhood and made new friends. I was very selective about the type of guys that I dated. I had lived my whole life in L.A. around celebrities, and had seen enough of the lights.
So when I met my fiancé out at a bar, I was glad to know he was not in the entertainment business. However, because of his business he does know a lot of famous people. Everything was perfect until we went to a friend's house for a party. It was a small gathering; maybe 20 people -- mostly couples -- but lo and behold my ex-boyfriend's old girlfriend was there. My heart just about popped out of my chest.
I mean, what are the chances of someone who lives in L.A. who used to date my ex being at an arbitrary house party in Houston? To make a long story short, as I figured, she blabbed off to my fiancé's friend about me, and the next day my fiancé drilled me about my famous ex. Then he hits me with, "I can't trust you. What other secrets are you keeping?"
Our relationship was solid for two years then just like that; poof -- it's up in smoke. What can I say or do to regain his trust?
Unfortunately many people associate women who date celebrities with being groupies and gold-diggers. I'm sure you omitted that information because you didn't want to be judged, but failing to tell your fiancé that you dated a celebrity is like him failing to disclose to you that he has five kids. I'm not saying it would make a difference, but some things you just need to know.
In defense of females who date celebrities, women date men who are in the world they live in, or aspire to live in. There are women who prefer to date politicians. Some women mostly date bus drivers and supervisors. Others are biased towards pastors or members of the clergy. Some women exclusively date educators, while others prefer laborers.
Are they being judged? If we're going to call the women who date famous men gold-diggers, at the least the other women have to be called copper-scoopers. I can't say that you'll ever fully regain your fiancé's trust, but you can calm his nerves by telling him you love him, and sincerely apologizing for not being forthcoming. Personally, I don't see why you didn't just tell him from the start. Everyone has a past. It's not like you killed the dude...did you?
I DON'T WANT MY CHILDREN ANYMORE
Dear Willie D:
I am a 27-years-old divorcée with four small children ages eight months [through] six years. A typical day for me is to wake up at 5 o' clock in the morning, and dress myself for work. Then I wake the babies up, starting with the oldest so she can help me with the others. Once I get all of the kids ready I feed them whatever quick meal I can whip together [usually cereal or pop tarts].
Then I rush out the door for the 30-minute drive to my mother's [can't afford daycare] to drop off the three youngest ones. Then I drop off my oldest one at school; I enrolled her at the elementary school in my mom's neighborhood for convenience.
But nothing about my life is convenient because I have four children I can hardly care for. Their father only pays $250 a month for child support. I stress out a lot because I feel as though as long as I have all these kids I will never get ahead financially or socially because they take up all of my time.
Being in a relationship is out of the question, because what man in his right mind would want a woman who has a bunch of kids? I don't even want them. I know what people think of mothers who abandon their kids, but I don't care anymore. I no longer want to be a mother. I guess I'm not asking for advice -- just venting.
This is a very sad letter. I will never understand people who bring children into the world, and not want to participate in their development. Kids are not clothes. You don't get to try them on and take them back when you realize you no longer want them. When you don't want your kids, you don't deserve them because it's not human nature to provide love and a safe environment for someone you consider to be a burden.
You appear to be on the cusp of a nervous breakdown. You should ask your kids' father or grandmother to take them in, and then see a professional to help you cope with the responsibility of parenting. Some people would give anything to have a child, while others are mourning the death of theirs. It would behoove you to count your blessings.
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