10 Walking Raver Cliches at Miami's Ultra Music Festival


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Photo by George Martinez
The Spring Breaker
Unlike many raver types, the Spring Breaker isn't fussy about personal style. He or she basically dresses like it's frosh week at the beach. If it's a guy, he's probably wearing a "Spring Break Forever, Bitches" tee, old flip-flops, and whatever neon trucker hat was on sale at the tourist shop.

And if it's a girl, she just romps around in a bikini top and sunglasses scored for free from some guy on the street. But beware: they travel in packs and are prone to stampedes. So steer clear of possible Spring Breaker flashmob scenes like Avicii condom drops and Alesso tote-bag giveaways.


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Photo by Ian Witlen
The Paleface In a Native American Headdress
Even a community supposedly built on "peace, love, unity, and respect" occasionally needs a lesson in cultural sensitivity. Like, seriously, what's with all these pale faces wearing cheap knockoffs of Native American headdresses? And extra-special shame on all of the imitation indigineous peoples at Ultra who've been dumb enough to break out the hand-over-mouth, "oh-woah-woah-woah" war chant as a way of requesting that your favorite DJ do an encore.


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Photo by George Martinez
The Hammock Dweller
Though the most common recreational activity at an EDM fest is definitely dancing, there's always a lot of snoozing going on. Here's the Hammock Dweller, a sort of Rip Van Winkle of rave, who can be seen sporadically waking up throughout the day and night to lick his lips and wonder, "Where am I? Who is making all that noise? Where did my girlfriend go?"

Another frequently spotted, possibly narcoleptic Ultra raver type: the tree-sleeper, a surprisingly adept climber who likes to curl up in the branches of Bayfront Park and only rarely falls out.


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Photo by George Martinez
The Party Prepper
He's got the fingerless gloves to protect his palms without preventing fully articulated fist-pumps. He's got the doomsday-themed neoprene motorcycle facemask. And he's got a fully loaded bug-out bag, stuffed with water, snacks and a fresh set of glowsticks.

So when the apocalypse (or maybe just a main-stage power outage) arrives, the Prepper's gonna be ready to party. Of course, without electricity, it'll be near impossible to enjoy electronic dance music. And that's why he's stockpiling epic iPhone vids in preparation for that moment when the power grid goes down.

Rave while you still can, people.


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1 comments
ooolou
ooolou

woah, dumbing down the 90s generations culture and styles ....

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