I Know My Mom Is Having an Affair. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Dear Willie D:
My mom wrecked her car and since then she has been alternating between riding to work with me, and a male coworker. The other night I took her to work and went in for a few minutes. When I returned to the parking garage, I realized that I didn't have money to pay for parking because I left my wallet at home. So I went back to ask my mom to pay for the ticket. When I reached her department I saw her coworker friend pop her on the butt and she just smiled.
I pretended not to see what happened, and just asked for the money and left. I hate that my mom spends so much time with that slimeball. He also plays poker with my dad, who is totally in the dark on all of this, in part because the guy is married. I know my mom is having an affair and I want to tell my dad, because they are making a good man look like a fool.
I've always thought the world of my mom, but now I'm ashamed of her because it's women like her who gives faithful women like myself a bad image. What do you think I should do?
Wanting to Tell:
Talk to your mom and tell her what you saw. Tell her how she hurt you, and ask for an explanation. It will be awkward and painful, but it will serve her notice that her actions are unacceptable.
While a pop on the butt is hardly evidence of an affair, it is an indication that something sexual could be going on, or at least the potential is there. I know you love your dad, but any confessions about your mother's inappropriate behavior with another man should come from her, not you.
Whether she decides to come clean or not really doesn't matter, because what's done in the dark will come to light.
A GIRL AT MY SCHOOL SAYS SHE WANTS TO FIGHT ME
Dear Willie D:
I'm a female who is a sophomore in high school. I go to a nice school, but there is this girl who has a vendetta against me because a friend of hers told her I said I don't like her, which was totally untrue. Yesterday at school as I was walking in the hallway she walked up behind me, leaned into my ear, and started calling me names. Then she knocked my books out of my hands.
This has been going on for two weeks. She is doing everything she can to provoke me into fighting her. She is a very popular girl and I don't want to tell my parents or the school counselor for fear that it would only make things worse. She keeps telling everybody that she's going to beat me up. I feel as though eventually I will have to fight her, even though I don't want to. What should I do?
When someone is a bully, often it's because they don't like themselves so they mask their low self-esteem by pushing others around. You did the right thing by not fighting her. Often people who go around fighting and picking on others have nothing to lose, so they don't care if they go to jail, get kicked out of school, or get sliced across the face with a razor blade. Bring your parents and school administrators in on this. Like a rapist, if no one exposes her and she goes unpunished, what is the incentive for her to change her behavior?
Bullies don't just wake up and have a change of heart about pushing people around. They have to be confronted and dealt with.
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