Willie D's 10 Naughty & Romantic Tips for Valentine's Day & Beyond
Editor's Note: This column is the one-year anniversary of Ask Willie D. Congratulations and a big thank-you to Houston's funniest, realest advice columnist!
As any loyal Ask Willie D reader knows, I respond to a great deal of relationship-based letters. However, the fact that the column started its run one year ago on February 14 has more to do with happenstance than a calculated action to coincide with the day most associated with romantic love.
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
But since I am the Gangsta of Love, and I was born in November (because my parents celebrated Valentine's Day), I would like to think fate also played a role in this commemorative occasion. So in honor of lovers everywhere, I thought it would be fitting to share some of my personal secrets to keeping the flame burning strong in a relationship.
Get started today, but don't wait until this time next year before you do something special again for your significant other. The language of love should be spoken loud, and often. Here we go...
10. Give Her a Massage
Did you know that 95 percent of women would rather have a man give them a massage than money to go shopping? Okay, I made that up, but seriously, few things beat a good massage to please a woman, and generate an emotional connection to her partner. When a man massages his woman, it tells her that he is taking the time to cater to her and it makes her feel cared for, thus facilitating the emotional connection.
A massage stretches and loosens tight muscles, and can be given for the sole purpose of relaxing her, and making her feel good, or it can serve as a stimulant for sex. If sex is the desired outcome try this:
Create a peaceful atmosphere with no distractions (kids, phones, TV, etc.) and turn on some soft music. Have your woman lie on her stomach in bed, or on a sofa, and pour oil on her body. Start with her shoulders, then massage her neck, then go back to her shoulders, and down to her arms, and hands. Use firm, deep, and even pressure - not hard. Work your way to her back, then her lower back, and finally her butt. Pour lots of oil on her butt, and rub it in good.
Massage her legs, her feet, and work her inner thighs slowly making your way up to her pelvic area. She will start to thrust her hips, and moan, but do not give in to her desires just yet; stay focused. Continue to massage her thighs, then her butt. Pour more oil on her butt, and thighs, but this time as you're massaging her inner thighs brush against her vagina. After repeating this action for several minutes, gently insert two fingers into her. I'm sure you can handle it from there.
9. Go On a Spontaneous Getaway
Treat yourself, and your love interest to a quick trip out of town for a couple of days. It doesn't have to be anywhere far. Avoid the stress of flying, and drive 2-4 hours outside the city limits to a small town with a unique offering like an art gallery, an historical restaurant, a military museum, a famed theater or a historic site. The long drive will give you and your partner special quality time to talk and become more familiar with one another.
Don't ruin the mood by bringing up serious matters like finances, and work; relax. Make frequent stops along the way to enjoy the countryside, and stop to look around in an old corner store for little nuggets of appreciation -- that's usually where I rediscover hard-to-find candy from my childhood. Enjoy the passage of time you have together, and don't rush. Oftentimes, the journey is more exciting than the destination.
8. Reveal a Fantasy
Take turns revealing a secret fantasy, and describe what you want in detail. But before you go down that road you, and your significant other must agree to do one thing: don't judge. It's a fantasy. It doesn't mean they actually want to do it.
So if he says, "I want to have sex with a midget on a vibrating washing machine while holding a gun to her head" don't trip. And if she says, "I want to do you in front of your friends. Then I want each of them to take turns pounding me from the back while I'm blindfolded as I try to guess which one it is" just go with it.
Whether your significant other is sexually conservative, or liberal, reading a few paragraphs from a book of erotica could also be a good way to get the juices flowing, literally. The main thing to remember is that everyone has secret fantasies and women more than men tend to keep theirs bottled up. Most men have no idea how badly their woman is aching to release her sexual fantasies. Regardless of how innocent you think your woman is she has it in her, and it's up to you to bring it out.
More Willie D on the next page.