Things You Can Do Until the Good Shows Come Back

Categories: Only In Houston

dbking via Flickr
Former America's Got Talent contestants D.C. Cowboys
If you reach mid-month and feel the boredom begin to gnaw at your brain like some Lovecraftian monster, get to Reliant Center next weekend (January 18-19) for the America's Got Talent open auditions. You're sure to see something truly nightmarish there - particularly if Howard Stern shows up. Even if he doesn't, there's bound to be thousands of our least talented neighbors on hand, all seeking momentary fame by the most ridiculous means necessary.

 If you're lucky, some of our local music phenoms will show up, too. Wouldn't it be cool to say you saw so-and-so at the local tryouts before so-and-so went onto AGT musical glory?  And, even if we don't have a so-and-so good enough to win right now, we probably have at least one guy who juggles Barbie doll heads while riding a tricycle dressed only in an adult undergarment. JESSE SENDEJAS JR.

Photo by Tyler Lopez
A party at Houston's Down Together House
Have you done all the things on this list I put out in 2012? You have? Oh bother. Well... in that case... do you have an excess of space where you live? Do you enjoy meeting strangers?

Have you ever wanted the headaches thrill that comes with putting on a show? Well then, why not host a house party? Just because the mainstream headliners aren't on the road doesn't mean there aren't bands looking for places to play. Be a hero and host some live music. We'll all come hang out. It'll be rad. CORY GARCIA

chidorian via Flickr
A lot of crappy junk is unique to the holiday season, much of which I could always live without, but thankfully White Elephant parties do not fall into this category. Somehow I managed to miss out on this tradition for the majority of my life, so maybe that is why I love them so much now.

This past year there was some good competition at Griff's, where I discovered my friend Nick to be the Bourbon Whisperer; a friend's party got heated when a butt plug was introduced in the "non-ironic" portion of the game.  With all this fun, it makes me wonder why this phenomenon is saved only for the days of red and green?

This lousy live-music January, I think I'm going to host a White Elephant for swapping some vinyl. Everyone can bring something more coveted and something completely ridiculous, then let the stealing and trading commence. Who doesn't like to open gifts anyway?? SELENA DIERINGER

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Boy, and here I thought that there ARE shows this month. I'll make sure to ask The Wheel Workers, the Mercury Ensemble, the Beans, New York City Queens, Wild Moccasins, Second Lovers, and all these other people who have events scheduled at dozens of venues around town what we should call them, since they're apparently not "live music".

What I'm saying, bare of snark, is that I'm pretty sure it'd be easy to write an article about "what to do in Houston if you don't feel like going to concerts" without claiming that the fact the Beyonce and TSwift and other megastars aren't here means there isn't any music going on.

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