Things You Can Do Until the Good Shows Come Back
If you reach mid-month and feel the boredom begin to gnaw at your brain like some Lovecraftian monster, get to Reliant Center next weekend (January 18-19) for the America's Got Talent open auditions. You're sure to see something truly nightmarish there - particularly if Howard Stern shows up. Even if he doesn't, there's bound to be thousands of our least talented neighbors on hand, all seeking momentary fame by the most ridiculous means necessary.
dbking via Flickr Former America's Got Talent contestants D.C. Cowboys
If you're lucky, some of our local music phenoms will show up, too. Wouldn't it be cool to say you saw so-and-so at the local tryouts before so-and-so went onto AGT musical glory? And, even if we don't have a so-and-so good enough to win right now, we probably have at least one guy who juggles Barbie doll heads while riding a tricycle dressed only in an adult undergarment. JESSE SENDEJAS JR.
Have you done all the things on this list I put out in 2012? You have? Oh bother. Well... in that case... do you have an excess of space where you live? Do you enjoy meeting strangers?
Photo by Tyler Lopez A party at Houston's Down Together House
Have you ever wanted the
headaches thrill that comes with putting on a show? Well then, why not host a house party? Just because the mainstream headliners aren't on the road doesn't mean there aren't bands looking for places to play. Be a hero and host some live music. We'll all come hang out. It'll be rad. CORY GARCIA
A lot of crappy junk is unique to the holiday season, much of which I could always live without, but thankfully White Elephant parties do not fall into this category. Somehow I managed to miss out on this tradition for the majority of my life, so maybe that is why I love them so much now.
chidorian via Flickr
This past year there was some good competition at Griff's, where I discovered my friend Nick to be the Bourbon Whisperer; a friend's party got heated when a butt plug was introduced in the "non-ironic" portion of the game. With all this fun, it makes me wonder why this phenomenon is saved only for the days of red and green?
This lousy live-music January, I think I'm going to host a White Elephant for swapping some vinyl. Everyone can bring something more coveted and something completely ridiculous, then let the stealing and trading commence. Who doesn't like to open gifts anyway?? SELENA DIERINGER
List continues on the next page.