23 Things You Won't See at Shows in the Suburbs
|Photo by Montecruz Foto via Flickr Commons|
|Never witnessed in the 'burbs.|
- Stage-diving. In my 14 years here, no one's ever done a stage-dive off the backyard deck.
- Homes which transform into venues for paying customers to attend shows featuring traveling bands. We did once have a brothel in our neighborhood, though.
- Penises drawn on restroom walls.
- People bumming cigarettes.
- A dearth of law enforcement. In my neighborhood, the po-po is always strolling by. They're nowhere to be found at venues where teens are pregaming in the street before a show.
- The all-ages "X" on the back of a hand.
- Fire twirlers.
- One handsome guy telling another, "I'm not gay...but he was so good I had to kiss him." Awesome? Awful? It's not for me to say. Just reporting what I heard.
- The older people who look out of place. Older people never look out of place in the suburbs; that's our domain. At shows, I am one of the older people who look out of place.
- Hipsters. Grew up in the suburbs. Moved to Montrose.
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