Sony's Christmas Music + Elderly Cat Lady = Internet Win

Categories: Holidaze

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Sony/Legacy
This is not something you expect a major record label to ever do. It's also a little horrifying.

Over the years hundreds of artists have recorded for Columbia, CBS, Epic and the other labels (past and present) now under the Sony umbrella. Most of them have recorded at least one holiday album. Now Sony has come up with a novel way to utilize its vast holiday-album archive as well as creep the hell out of people who don't care for either cats or the holidays.

From today until Friday, eight whole hours a day, Sony's catalog division Legacy Recordings is streaming all of those holiday albums at christmascats.tv. But that's not all: while you enjoy these heartwarming tunes, you can watch an elderly woman knitting by a fireplace and enjoying the company of several cats, some of whom are wearing sweaters.

It's hypnotic, disturbing and full of holiday cheer.

When we tuned in, she was just knitting as one of the Neil Diamond Christmas records played. Soon enough some dude in an elf costume showed up and started talking to her about both her cats and the various men in her life, who we get the impression didn't quite measure up. The audio is a little tough to make out, but we think the elf may be her "grandson" and one of the cats may be named Elvis, even though the real Elvis recorded for RCA.

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You have to wonder what Neil thinks of all this.
This is the damndest thing we've seen this holiday season, that's for sure. Click on the musical note on the right of the screen and a couple of the catalog titles will pop up at the bottom, complete with an Amazon link, but they're never synced with whatever music granny is listening to.

Trying to make sense at all out of this would be a mistake, though. Better to just keep it on in the background as a sort of musical Yule log. That Gladys Knight record in particular is sweeter than fresh egg nog.

Bonus No. 1: Being the Internet, visitors are encouraged to offer their own thoughts. When we visited about an hour ago, "AhappyRobot" had chimed in, "I have an intangible boner for cats in sweaters."

Bonus No. 2: All of granny's cats are available for adoption via the North Shore Animal League of America.

One more tip: whatever you do, do not do an image search for "Christmas cats."

God bless the Internet. God bless us, every one.


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