Music's Biggest Douchebags: 2013 Edition

Photo by Matthew Keever
2. Tim Lambesis
Like I said, things got pretty messed up this year. Since no one ultimately got hurt, we can still laugh a little bit about this one just for how stupid a person would have to be to even engage in these sorts of alleged actions, regardless of how disgusting they are.

Earlier this year, As I Lay Dying front man Tim Lambesis was arrested and charged with soliciting an undercover police officer posing as a hitman to murder his estranged wife. The court case against him alleges that he asked guys around his gym if they knew somebody that could kill his wife. Yeah, his brilliant plan was, according to police, to ask strangers if they knew a hitman.

Any reasonable person would have seen the next part coming, but prosecutors say that Lambesis did not and instead met up with a man calling himself "Red" (an undercover police officer) who asked on tape if Lambesis wanted his wife killed. Quote Lambesis, according to the prosecution and the tape they allegedly possess of him saying this, "yes, that's exactly what I want."

Though Lambesis has pled not guilty to the charges, his lawyer has also issued a statement claiming that his client's "thought processes were devastatingly affected by his steroid use." Yes, if Lambesis did attempt to hire a hitman, which he claims he did not, it was only because he was in the middle of a prolonged bout of roid rage. Seems legit.

Anyway, our No. 2 douchebag of 2013 will have his case resolved next year, when we will find out definitively whether the charges against him are true or not. If proved true, they are exceedingly disturbing. In the meantime, his soon-to-be-ex-wife is suing him to the tune of $2 million in a civil suit over the incident.

Photo by Andy Boardman/Wikimedia Commons
1. Ian Watkins
Last year I said Chris Brown could basically take the top spot every year. Well, Brown was douchey this year as ever, but he could never top the kind of sickening behavior perpetrated by our No. 1 douchebag of 2013.

Typically this is a lighthearted award, but unfortunately the sickening actions of former Lostprophets front man Ian Watkins have earned him a place as not only the biggest douchebag of the year, but one of the most vile people I've written about in my life.
Just a month ago, Watkins pled guilty in a court in his home country of Wales to 13 counts of sexual abuse against children as young as 11 months old. It feels disgusting even writing that, and one can only imagine how devastating this must be to fans, friends, family, and members of the band.

You'd be hard-pressed to find a defender of Watkins or his actions; in light of this news, it will probably be difficult for anyone to enjoy the musical works he created anymore. However, I personally wish the best of luck to all the innocent people involved, including the other members of the band who can hopefully move on from this dark chapter and find some success in the future, despite the awful and tragic end their previous band suffered.


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I initially expected this to just be a photo of Kanye. You convinced me. 


Kenny West? King D-bag for sure. Miley? Misguided and on her way to being the Lohan of music. The other three? I've never heard of them...

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