How to Make Friends at ACL Fest: The Wine Thermos

Categories: ACL Fest

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Photo by Angelica Leicht
You can see where this is headed...
My sister and I stumbled upon a life lesson unicorn at ACL yesterday. Being the classy broads we are, we decided that the tiny cans of beer weren't working their alcohol-fueled magic quickly enough, and we were sick of having to walk back and forth during a really good Arctic Monkeys set to get more. It was hot, we were thirsty, and the only thing we could get in a Costco-sized quantity was wine. So with wine we went.

But when we ordered a bottle, it's safe to say we expected to be handed, well, a bottle of wine. And true, what was handed over was technically a bottle of wine. But it was also a bottle of heaven. Behold the greatest invention we've ever seen: the wine thermos.

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Yeah, you read that right. What was handed over was not some cheesy traditional wine bottle, but a bike thermos full of wine, complete with the old-school pop-top and all. I know; our minds were blown too. How such a thing exists outside of our dreams, we don't know.

But this thing was handed over with a question about whether we needed any glasses to go with our wine thermos, and we knew we'd stumbled upon something fantastic. It had never occurred to us that an old school bike water bottle would make the perfect vessel for a wine thermos, but it did. And bonus? We could do so many activities with it!

We also suddenly became interesting and earned ourselves a lot of festival besties, thanks to that damn thermos. See, there's something extra-special about the ability to squirt wine directly into your mouth, and apparently people are quite amused by the idea of wine shots. It makes the whole flask thing seem mundane when a steady stream of warm red wine is making its way toward your mouth at cannonball speed.

We managed to perfect our aim with shooting wine directly into our mouths, and the folks around us started to take notice of our new toy. Soon everyone wanted a taste of the wine thermos. We began trading out the use of our wine thermos in exchange for a swig from our festival neighbors' boring (but quite delicious) flasks. Soon they were testing out fancy new versions of the wine shot; they came up with double-partner wine shoot and the "thirsty biker eschewing water for wine" shoot. It was awesome.


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2 comments
MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

And, no one gets cracked over the head with a glass bottle.

dermgerm
dermgerm

Awesome invention. Ruined shirt.

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