He Kissed and Told. Help!


Dear Willie D:

Every time my girlfriend and I go to a restaurant she waits until I order so that we don't get the same dish. The reason she does this is so she can eat what's on her plate and mine. When I tell her I don't like it when she does that she gets defensive. I make sure to not use the restroom more than 15 minutes after I place my order. Otherwise, I might return to a plate with portions of the entrée missing.

How do I get her to stop eating off my plate?

Missing Food:

The reason there is always a knife positioned next to your plate is so you can defend it. Actually, I don't mind sharing my food with my date. A happy date is a happy mate. But if you don't want her eating off your plate, your girlfriend should respect your wishes. To eat off someone's plate without their permission is rude and classless.

Since she won't keep her grubby hands off your food at restaurants, stop taking her out. Or you could do what I did to our middle-school bully, Richard. He used to point at the food on a student's plate, touch it and say, you want that? When he finally made his way to me I stuck my fork through his hand and that was the end of that.

Wait a minute -- I can't be telling dudes to stick their food-snatching girlfriends with forks. I told Chris I can't respond to these letters without my medication. I'm out!


Dear Willie D:

I work at a steel plant in Houston. Whenever employees are on break, they are required to be in the break room or the adjacent patio that's used mostly for smoking. Many of my co-workers have children so naturally they talk about their children every chance afforded to them. I don't want to hear about their children's diaper rashes or test scores, so I usually sit at the end of the table and turn towards the TV or stand somewhere where it is understood that I don't want to be bothered.

I know my co-workers say nasty things about me behind my back. I care what they think of me but I can't help it. I was the same way in high school. I don't know why but I have a fear of rejection and saying the wrong thing. I'm afraid if people see the real me they may not like me so rather than take that chance I turn inward. Am I just anti-social or is there something deeper wrong with me?

Fear of Rejection:

I'm no doctor, but it sounds like you have Social Anxiety Disorder. It is characterized by intense fear that the person experiencing it might make a mistake or be humiliated or embarrassed in front of other people. You can beat this, though. All you have to do is realize that people are people. Regardless of how popular or brave some of us may appear we all seek validation, want to be recognized by others, and make mistakes.

If you can't heal yourself via the physician within you, consider counseling. Cognitive behavior therapy is another option. It's a psychotherapeutic approach that teaches you how to react differently to dysfunctional emotions. And then there's always medication, which I saved for last because for me when I'm feeling sick, drugs are always a last result.

All things considered, if you want to be alone and it makes you happy don't sweat being around people. There's a bunch of weirdos out there.


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Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.


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Rhonda Hare
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~ Read this and saw elsewhere: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WILLIE D!


Great advice for Fear Of Rejection. My good friend suffers from Social Anxiety Disorder. I'm going to send him a link to this letter. Good job Willie!

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