My Sleep-Talking Uncle Hit On My Daughter. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Dear Willie D:
My mother's brother has been living with my 17-year-old daughter and me ever since he became ill. About a month ago my daughter was sleeping on a lounge chair in the living room across from the sofa that my uncle was sleeping on. I was in bed when I heard my daughter screaming at him. I rushed to see what was going on and she told me that my uncle propositioned her for sex.
When I asked him about it he said he was talking in his sleep. The only problem was that my daughter said he was sitting up with his eyes wide open. I want to believe that he didn't consciously try to have sex with his own niece. But at the same time I know my daughter and she is not a liar. I want to kick him out of my house but conversely, what if he really was talking in his sleep? I don't know what to think.
For now my uncle is still living with me but being around him is very awkward. Should I give him a second chance or put him out?
Why take a chance? If I were you, he would have been booted out with a knuckle sandwich the same night that I heard my daughter screaming. The fact is he propositioned his own niece for sex. If he wanted to sleep-talk he should have found another subject to talk about. I don't care if he was coming out of a coma. Homey don't play that.
SPOILED ROTTEN KIDS TAKING ME FOR GRANTED
Dear Willie D:
I have three kids and all of them are self-absorbed brats. They have a sense of entitlement about life. Because my husband and I weren't raised with much we showered our kids with the spoils of life. Whatever they want they pretty much get, but on those rare occasions when they don't get what they want they can be impossible to deal with.
My oldest son is the worst. A few days ago he cursed at his father and me because we wouldn't buy him a new car after he wrecked his car. When our younger kids see him acting that way it provokes them to do the same. My kids have no respect for authority. They are irresponsible, ungrateful and arrogant. We give them everything they want but still they treat us like dirt.
I don't think I've ever heard any of them say thank you without being prompted to do so. They don't listen to anything I say and all of them talk back. I feel powerless to do anything about their attitudes or actions. I don't believe in spankings and punishment doesn't work. If they don't change I know it will have major implications on their futures. What can I do to change their destructive behavior?
Welcome to 21st-century parenting. The burden of responsibility and respect lies with the parent. We got too many folks today in America trying to be their children's pals, not parents. Don't be afraid to discipline your children using whatever method is most effective. Unlike you, I do believe in spanking, but constant spankings don't work. However, punishment does work, but you have to be firm, fair and consistent.
There is no one size fits all way of parenting but there is one word. It's called NO! Learn how to effectively communicate it and you will be amazed at how grounded and appreciative your kids will become. I salute you exploring new methods to put your kids on track. You are right to be concerned about their futures and their ability to cope socially because they may be able to get away with disrespecting you, but the world will be less forgiving.
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