Five Badass Women to Replace Miley on the Vogue Cover

We-Can-t-Stop-0910.jpg
According to various news outlets, the twerk-lovin' pop artist known as Miley Cyrus has lost her spot on the coveted Vogue cover, thanks to her naughty foam finger and vinyl underoos at her ill-fated MTV VMA performance. Apparently no one wants to take into consideration that she's just being Miley. (Sorry for that.)

And even if these news outlets (like the Daily Mail, among others) are wrong about Miley being pulled from the Vogue cover, you can guarantee that after famed Vogue high priestess Anna Wintour sets her eyes on the newest Miley video making the rounds, Miley will be sad-waving at that cover as it drifts away in the wind.

That video, from last weekend's performance of "We Can't Stop" on the German TV show Schlag den Raab is bordering on a new level of offensive, and not only because her singing sucks. Nope, Miley pulled out all the stops by performing that obnoxious song while flanked with a band of little people because, well, as you know, people are just props in Miley's circus, right? Watch your ass if you're somewhat different than Miley, cause she's out to fucking fetishize you with a vengeance.

I'm not sure how many times this can be said, but it's not edgy to use real live human people -- yes, "human people" is the only way to get the point across on this one -- as props for your attention-whoring. Way to try to dehumanize some actual people because you weren't validated enough as a child, Miley. (Where is her publicist?!)

But really. Miley was kind of a boring choice for that cover anyway, and it's not like that foam finger and her half-assed (heh) attempt at twerking made her more interesting. All of these Steve-O Jackass-esque moves haven't made her a respected pop star, they've made her the flavor of the week in the train-wreck category. She was already a sub-par vocalist and her music, despite being so far removed from Disney and everything wholesome, is still canned, flavorless tuna that is packaged to look fancy and stamped with stupid words like "Bangerz." So who cares, really?

Vogue should have plenty of other legitimate options for the cover, so we'd like to suggest a few in case Ms. Wintour is reading our humble blog.



Advertisement

My Voice Nation Help
3 comments
femme_fatale
femme_fatale

How about going back to the good ol' days when fashion magazines didn't need a singer/actress on the cover to sell and putting a fashion model on the cover instead? I've only heard of one of those suggestions above, but if you're going to go the pop act route for a "Vogue" cover, how about Christina Aguilera? She may not have a new album coming out, but she's got a few new songs out there that are doing well on the charts, she's looking much better than how she was last year, she's definitely got style (if you ask me, she could very well be the most stylish woman on TV!), and her musical chops totally trump that of those other, less-experienced pop tarts that undeservedly got the the cover of "Vogue." (Gaga with two covers already? Christina with none? Garbage!)

I wish "Vogue" gave covers to female musicians during a time when there were some really great talent around, like back in the 90s when we had Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Janet Jackson, Bjork, and Tori Amos around. Instead, we saw the likes of the Spice Girls (really?) on the magazine. C'mon, Anna, give Christina a cover! She's long overdue! 

toycamera
toycamera

I completely disagree with your comparison between Miley and Lana Del Rey. Her voice is beautiful and her songs tell stories, whereas Miley's just tell me to turn the radio off. Miley's is mindless pop music that will never stand the test of time... whether or not Lana Del Rey's music will, is not up to me, but at least she has talent and makes music about some respectable, meaningful subject matter.

arrothiel
arrothiel

@toycamera Lana Del Rey's music is very forgettable to me. Her voice is alright I suppose, but she is, IMHO, in no way a credible performer. The only reason she's famous is because her music is backed by her daddy's money (did you know she has a trust fund? True facts).

All that being said, I'd STILL rather see Lana on the cover than Miley! At least Lana has a sense of dignity, and at least SOME talent, even if she does pale in comparison to other female singers/performers.

Now Trending

Houston Concert Tickets

Around The Web

From the Vault

 

Loading...