The Top Five Stunt Queen Antics From Last Night's MTV VMAs
Can we just rename last night's MTV VMAs the MTV JTMAs? Cause really, now. Mr. Justin Timberlake dominated that stage the entire night, even with Lady Gaga warbling off-key and Miley Cyrus grabbing at her crotch every two seconds. It was teh impressive.
JT performed a medley of what seemed to be every darn hit out of his catalog, and even pulled off that rumored 'NSync reunion, albeit momentarily. The beautiful thing about Mr. Timberlake is that even with the near twenty minute set, he managed to pull off some flawless vocals and dancing, which really led us to believe the dude can do anything and should be schooling all the young'uns on how this pop star thing is done. He's a pro, and he deserved those moon men he received.
Bruno Mars also deserves a bit of an honorable mention, although his performance was nowhere near the length of JT's, nor did they incorporate such wicked calisthenics, but damn that boy can sing. He's got the vocals, no matter what your take on his music.
But even with JT and Bruno Mars as stand-in VMA superheros to the rescue, the VMAs were -- as usual -- a hot mess of stunt queen antics, and we'd like to discuss them because, well, that's what we do. Consider it a PSA against such atrocities in case you ever find yourself onstage at the VMAs, because no one should do these things in life -- or in public -- ever.
Here are the five things about this year's VMAs that we found strange as hell, and not in a good way. These are also things we'd advise against if you're an artist that wants to be taken seriously because, despite popular belief, the old adage, "any press is good press," isn't always true.
5. Katy Perry's "Roar" performance, fully equipped with a cheesy boxing ring and giant belt prop.
Yes, Katy Perry owns her penchant for all things cheesy -- she's queen of wearing props, cupcake bras included -- but everything from that blingy grill to her obnoxious boxer shorts proved so distracting from her actual performance that who knows what she even sounded like. It was just a mess and a half.
Also, it's about time for pop stars to stop with the grill thing. Really. It's just making you look like you have less street cred than before, if that's even possible.
4. Kanye's attempt to revert back to the style of "singing" -- which is really just auto tune and some mic-screaming -- that he already caught major shit for on previous albums.
No matter how many big celebs tweeted it, or yelled it into the mic during their acceptance speeches, that performance of whatever the hell it was -- some abysmal version of "Blood On The Leaves," we think -- was really quite awful. All we could think was Jesus, Yeezus. Just stop now before it gets any worse. You're not some strange experimental indie artist; you're a rapper who once wore a giant piece and chain with Jesus on it, and you call yourself Yeezus. Enough of the other mess. Chose one field to play ball on, please, and it better be rap.