The Nine Worst Live Acts We've Ever Seen
The worst show I've been to is, unfortunately, Citizen Cope, whom I actually like in theory. The problem with that concert was not that Citizen Cope's entire catalog runs together in concert (which it does, but that's besides the point), it was that a bunch of super-annoying audience members kept yelling "Sideways" in between make-out sessions, and it killed the vibe.
Citizen Cope's is not exactly the highest-energy music, and when you throw in a group of fools who, in their altered states, are screaming above the mellow vocals while falling over on you in the midst of their slobbering all over each other, well, it sucks. He'll get to the damn song, which is apparently the only one you know, and it'll be on his timeline, asshats.
I wouldn't know what that time line was, though, because I left. It was that obnoxious. ANGELICA LEICHT
Photo by Anthony Joseph Baker
If memory serves, I first encountered Pat Green in the winter of 1997/8 at the now long-shuttered Fabulous Satellite Lounge. We had friends in town and they wanted to catch some live music. I had been reading about this Pat Green kid in the Waco newspapers that lay around my dad's house and I'd heard about him from my son. The Satellite was our regular weekend hang, and generally it could be relied on to put in top-shelf roots acts.
The first thing we noticed was the general youth in the audience. This was probably the youngest crowd I'd ever seen in the Satellite. Green and his fiddle-steel band were rocking out onstage. Or trying to rock out. Surrounding us were all these fratty-looking ballcap guys drinking Miller Lite by the barrel. They weren't even bothering to take their bottles back to the bar, just started dropping them in the floor. Classy.
Within a couple of songs, we grew very restless. Finally my out of town friends, not wanting to seem rude, asked, "Do you actually like this guy?"
Me: "No. This sucks. It really sucks."
"Yeah, this is pretty lame. Let's get out of here."
I've never seen Green again. And nothing he's done or recorded since is likely to change that, no matter how many Joe Ely covers he does. WILLIAM MICHAEL SMITH
It's taboo to speak ill of the dead, so it's unfortunate that the performer at center stage of the worst concert I've ever attended was Whitney Houston. I was a fan when I went into the show, but was less of one coming out. That's never occurred before or since, so it must meet some weird "worst concert ever" criteria.
Her biggest sin was her insistence on singing every song with prolonged, exaggerated melisma. That stuff is a little like garlic; okay when it's measured out correctly. Every line in every song is too much. Also, we'd come to hear the pop hits we'd heard on the radio ans she rearranged at least two or three to be nearly unrecognizable. Why? It made no sense. She couldn't dance and had no real stage presence. And, as everyone knows, the girl sweated like Patrick Ewing during overtime.
I'll put it this way -- if your opening act is Kenny G and he blows you away, you had an off night. JESSE SENDEJAS JR.
List continues on the next page.