Some Things That Happen After 5 a.m. at the Gathering of the Juggalos
Note: this past weekend, the folks at our sister paper Riverfront Times ventured into the breach that is the Gathering of the Juggalos in Hardin County, Illinois. Rocks Off is amazed they made it out in one piece, but apparently they did.
Festivities here at the Gathering of the Juggalos run every day from noon until 5 a.m., and then things start getting weird. That's not to say they weren't weird to begin with, but after hours of drugs and partying and wicked clown love, Juggalos will begin displaying even more bizarre, hilarious behavior.
Nate "Igor" Smith ...And this is all before 5 a.m.
Here are a few of the things that happen after 5 a.m. at the Gathering of the Juggalos.
Juggalo Eats and a Quest for the Mystical Burrito Man
The Gathering of the Juggalos: Misconceptions and First Impressions
Death at Juggalo Gathering: "Four Dudes Had Been Sleeping With a Corpse"
Ten Things You Don't Need When Camping With Juggalos
The Gathering of the Juggalos' Best Overheard Quotes
While wandering around the campgrounds taking photos of trash and other things we found on the ground, we came across the girls of Passed Out Juggalos, a Tumblr that features photos of unconscious ICP fans with girls' butts in their faces. There was an unconscious man sleeping in a pile of mud near a campfire, and Kali (one of the girls) was squatting over him, when suddenly he awoke and sent the girls scattering, giggling maniacally and searching for their next prey.
Obviously, we followed them, as this was much more amusing than the ten thousand empty bags of drugs we were taking photos of. In between victims, we asked Kali what was going on. "Passed out Juggalos!" she exclaimed gleefully. We were then shushed as she and another girl began wrapping a man who had fallen asleep in a chair with duct tape.
Spin the Wheel
When we first came upon The Wheel, it was while security was breaking up a crowd of people and telling them to move along. This was the only time we had seen security stop anyone from doing anything, so obviously we were intrigued.
The proprietors of the Wheel moved not far from their original location and set up shop again when security drove away. "Spin the wheel!" they began shouting to the nearby juggalos that were still awake. "Spin the wheel; win a beer!"
The Wheel has written on it several potential outcomes that can come from spinning it, and most of them are absolutely horrible. We learned that the reason security had dispersed the crowd is because a man had just smacked another man in the face with a piece of poop in his hand.
"You guys want to spin the wheel?" we were asked. No thank you; just spectating.
Another brave soul approached and gave a spin, likely unaware of what he was getting himself into. It landed on some sort of punishment that was to be thought of on the spot. We were asked what it is that the man who spun should do.
"Uh, eat some bark off of that tree," we replied, trying to find something that would satiate the bloodlust of the wheel's owners without ruining this poor kid's life too badly. This answer was initially deemed acceptable, but when the wheel-spinner seemed too relaxed about taking this punishment, it was decided that bark was too tame. "Put a rock in your ass and eat it," one sadistic Juggalo suggested. This punishment was declined.
"Stand in the middle of that path, whip your dick out and start masturbating," was the next suggestion. Our unfortunate soul, now aware that he was in over his head, declined that one as well.
The conversation then turned to drugs, as many conversations here do.
Story continues on the next page.