People, It's Time For Yet Another Lesson In Concert Etiquette

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Listen up, live music fans. It's time for an etiquette lesson. No, not a lesson on how to pour tea or eat crumbly shit without spilling down your blouse. This lesson is on concert etiquette.

Some of you may need it, some of you may not, but I'm sure you know a few people who could brush up on their concert-going skillz. In that case, you can pass this along to them now that you know it exists.

Now put your pinky fingers in the air and follow me. Let's do this. Here are some basic lessons in concert etiquette. We'll all be fancy by the end of this.

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10. Don't go to concerts to make out.
That makes everyone uncomfortable. EVERYONE. This isn't a prude thing, it's a PDA-aversion thing. I don't need you rubbing your dude's ass in the two square inches I'm allotted, because somehow you're accidentally(?) feeling me up too, and it's awkward.

Presumably, you are attending said concert in those expensive-ass seats to enjoy the music, not an air-shag, so listen to it and we're all good.

REWIND:

Concert Etiquette For Dummies: Don't Be A Douche


9. Playground rules are basically good anytime, anywhere.
Don't cut. Don't jump seats and try to get closer. It's rude. If you want better seats, buy better tickets or get online when the tickets go on sale and don't wait until the day of, or you run the risk of not being able to see.

That's your own fault. But if you wait, it still doesn't give you the right to jump over other people's seats and launch yourself into open-seat freedom. In reality, those seats probably aren't really open, and you'll have to launch back to your seats when the rightful owners return from their bathroom escapade anyway. Save us all the hassle and the shoe imprints on our chairs.


8. Don't talk over acoustic sets.
Seriously, for Christ's sake, stop talking over acoustic sets. Just don't. Not much more needs to be said. It's incredibly rude to the artist, and even more rude to your friendly seat-neighbors.


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24 comments
WomanBearPig
WomanBearPig

Agree on #6 -- had yound punks doing this all show long at the last 2 concerts I attended this summer at Cynthis Woods Mitchell from my pricy and good seats under the canopy. If my kids were not with me, I would've beat his arse.

conatonc
conatonc

How about don't talk during headlining sets unless you have to, acoustic or not? I've had numerous concert experiences soured for me by people who apparently think the show is the perfect place to have a loud conversation with all of their friends. It's not and you are now the person who paid $30 and up (and up and up) to talk to your buddies while ruining everybody else's good time.

Melissa Marie Young
Melissa Marie Young

TALL PEOPLE: My neck was killing me by the end of the show bc the ONLY way I could see the 'standing room only' show was forced to look at the show through my iPhone screen OVER your head and around your SWAYING body. Plus, this particular crowd of tall people, had the nerve to make ugly faces at me bc little ol' me wanted to stand closer even though I was not blocking your view. Another issue to add...when it's crowded - please limit the swaying. Sometimes the ONLY way to see a show is through the sliver of a narrow open-space between people. Just say'n.

Callista Sheridan
Callista Sheridan

Also, don't be a jerk to the tiny people in front - I've had any number of people shove/lean against me because even though they can see perfectly over my head, they still think it's too much to be one person away - that's when I begin to stomp on their toes in the hopes that they learn to respect the personal space.

Noelle Tijerina
Noelle Tijerina

Just went to a concert at HOB and I was standing and I must admit that I was able to deal with the elbow/boobs and even beer baths I got, but the one thing that annoyed me was the guy behind me with his phone in his hands texting. I sport a mohawk and kept feeling him back there with his phone all over my fkin hawk! He didn't deserve to be at that concert. Period.

_sid.
_sid.

These rules pretty much apply to people on airplanes too.

FREEEEBIRRRRRD!  <sorry, never gets old, after 30+ years>

Ray Hadfield
Ray Hadfield

My Etiquette complaint?....when you're in a club and the people are talking and screaming so loud you can't even hear the band!!

c5813
c5813

You should check out a vocal ensemble concert over at Stude Hall. No microphones, no amps, and you can actually hear somebody three rows away turning a page in her program.

Ricardo Moya
Ricardo Moya

Oops. I'm very guilty of the phone camera sub-par video thing but I never mind being asked to take somebody's pic for them- even at a concert.

Hugh Bishop
Hugh Bishop

At general admission shows where the front gets crowded... there's always someone, or a guy and his gal, getting miffed about people being too close to them. It's GA! Get with it or get out! And it's worse at a Metal show when their on the edge of the pit and they get bumped, then look at you like you're insane. It's a Metal show! If you can't stand being touched, why are you anywhere near the pit?

Laurie Curtis
Laurie Curtis

#7! And #2. I'm small and somehow always end up getting squished by the lardos... -.-

Noelle A. Perry
Noelle A. Perry

phones/cameras. to a lesser but even more irritating extent, TABLETS. put your fucking device down, stop recording for posterity and youtube views, AND ENJOY THE FUCKING SHOW.

George Longoria
George Longoria

I have ALOT more I can list....... The best one I like is "Don't you know who I am..???" showing me HIS PHONE, look I'm having dinner with the (a named person which I will not) so that tells you who I am......

George Longoria
George Longoria

I hate it when people come to me and say I have paid GOBBS (means ALOT) of money for this show and is there anyway I/my kid can meet (the Main Act)....???

MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

Number one is the a great guide. The Mrs. and I were not prepared for rain at the Heart show but  a really nice couple gave us a disposible rain bag. My Mrs. truly apprciated not looking like a drowning victim at one of her dream concerts. In turn, she gave a very miserable, very OLD woman--there with her husband/adult son--a pair of our earplugs during Jason Bonham's first song. Karma doesn't have to be b15ch. If you don't provoke her, she's a nice lady.

And, in that vein, I'd suggest a note to the geezers like me. No, you didn't get to see Rush/VH/Ozzy/Kenny G, (just checking to make sure you're awake) when you were a pimply-faced burger flipper. Don't take it out on the teenager doing the d1ck dance. You were a MoMo at 20, too. If you're married to a super hot chick, as I am, =) accept that guys/girls are gonna stare/flirt/try to dance with her. Be patient, we're old, we've had practice.

Good stuff, as always, Ms. Leicht.

mollyelizabethf
mollyelizabethf

Could someone please forward this article to the GoPro douche that was at Summer Fest? Drunk, shirtless, asian dude with tattoos...I have NEVER seen someone at a concert be so disrespectful so many different times! You're a jerk.

AgroWander
AgroWander

11.Visit the merch table (especially if not a national act), you don't have to buy anything if you don't want to but it means a lot to have you come by and there are usually freebies. 

Jennifer Denison
Jennifer Denison

These should be posted on every venue! I feel you on the short person part!!

jerry2968_97
jerry2968_97

and old people if you buy lawn tickets at an amphitheatre expect to stand up during the show...if you want to sit down don't be so cheap buy actual seats.

gossamersixteen
gossamersixteen topcommenter

@mollyelizabethf People with backpacks were just as bad, using them to clear a path accidentally smacking people in the face with them.. Leave it at home DB..

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