People, It's Time For Yet Another Lesson In Concert Etiquette
I'm all for educating the next generation on music, but only to appropriate concerts. Lil Wayne is not an appropriate replacement for a proper sex education class, and that's what you're doing to your eight-year-old. You're explaining the birds and the bees by way of the word "hoe" and the phrase "face down, ass up." Rumor has it when Lil Wayne sneezes, three babies are born. Do you really want to educate your child by way of Weezy?
3. Don't yell shit -- especially requests -- unless prompted.
Oh, and never "Freebird," even at a Skynyrd concert because you'll still be the only one who finds it funny. Seriously, yelling things is kinda weird when you're well aware the only fools that can hear you are right next to you. Contrary to popular belief, they do, in fact, own eardrums. And you're bursting them with your yelling.
2. If you are in a standing-room-only venue, don't purposely shove your way to the front and block the tiny folks.
They've been standing steady, avoiding the bathroom and beer, to hold their spot in the front because if they don't, they can't see jack shit. Don't ruin it 'cause you're physically able to hurl them out of the way in your drunken quest for front-of-the-crowd greatness. Get there earlier, don't drink so you don't have to pee and therefore forfeit your spot, or do whatever you have to do, but don't be a dick. Being short sucks. Trust me, I know.
1. Sharing is caring.
If you're hell-bent on doing any or all of the above, well, pass along whatever substance it is that's making you act like a damned fool, because I'm gonna need it to tolerate you.
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