The Bozo Porno Circus Diaries: The Van Eats Shit, and I Almost Eat Rooster Balls

Categories: Gothtopia

If you never saw a Bozo Porno Circus show then you just plain missed out. The Tone Zone Records band was a freak-out and a half, stuffed to the wall with loud noises and pretty girls getting sparks shot off their metal-covered crotches by belt sanders. Recently, lead guitarist Chris "The" Lane (aka Crispy and for a brief hilarious time Nikki Wykkid) uncovered a treasure trove of tour diaries and photos, so all this week we're heading down a well of Houston-flavored debauchery from the glory days of our goth scene.

When I joined Bozo Porno Circus, they had a very special Tour Vehicle, which had been bought by a friend and benefactor of the band. It was an old airport shuttle bus -- pretty huge, with seats lining the inside perimeter, but with the center free of seating or anything else. It was spacious, but not built for comfort over a long haul, like a school bus.

Still, it afforded us the ability to haul around our large entourage, as well as the considerable amount of gear and luggage that was necessary to take with us. When I joined Bozo, I didn't question the van, didn't wonder where it had come from. The van was just part of the strange landscape I accepted as part of the whole Bozo experience.

Because of its size, that van was not a lot of fun to drive, and although there was a decent amount of space to stretch out on the center of its floor to sleep, that floor got pretty hot from the road's heat, and it would quickly become uncomfortable.


The Bozo Porno Circus Diaries: Thursday, April 24, 2002

The second tour that I went on took us through the South. We experienced a catastrophic van breakdown somewhere in rural Tennessee. The van overheated, and then died on the side of the highway. Fortunately for us, it had chosen to die near a gas station with a convenience store, and also a small cafe with an auto shop attached to it.

Everyone got out of the van, and tried to access the situation. Several of us walked to the convenience store to get drinks when it became obvious that we wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. As this meant a short walk along the highway, and since most of us looked pretty weird by rural Tennessee standards, a couple of trucks slowed down and yelled insults at us.

At least they didn't stop. We were probably the strangest thing to stop there pretty much ever.

At the time, I had my first cell phone. This was just before they became really common, and it was crude, and the plan was very expensive. That phone got used a lot during this emergency, and when I returned home from the tour, my bill was through the roof.

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Hahaha! We were in Lexington, Tennessee and if memory 'serves me well' we were troublemakers because we were to talking to black people. Strange days. 

We were on our way to play NXNE in Toronto. Yes, we were on time for the gig. Too bad I don't remember the Roaster Fries.... Gotta love the deep south!

Richard Griesser
Richard Griesser

They were like Rocky Horror and the Ramones on acid...Lots of acid...

Nosa Edebor
Nosa Edebor

lol i saw these guys with the genitorturers at numbers....or maybe it was fitz when i was like 14-15. weirdest show ever, damn i love Houston.

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