Houston's Top 10 Bro Bars, Clubs & Ice Houses
As our sister blog Eating...Our Words does, from time to time Rocks Off will be giving your our picks for the top taverns in various Houston-area neighborhoods. Of course, the lines can be porous, but here anything with a TABC license that cannot reasonably be considered either a restaurant, coffeehouse or live-music venue is fair game.
We like bros, with their muscley-muscles and their tight rhinestoned tees; they make for great memes and they keep the hair gel industry in business, so for that, we're thankful. Without them, the Axe-scented breezes that drift across the city on Sunday-brunch days would be sorely missed.
So we say keep on doin' your thing, bros. Fist-pumping is rad.
10. ROYAL OAK BAR & GRILL
No, not all of our bro bars are straight off the Washington drag. That would have been way too easy. This bar, although it is more of a Washington-esque type of scene, is situated near Montrose places like Anvil and Catbirds, yet the vibe is way different.
There's an expensive valet, lots of Affliction shirts, and plenty of Jager a-flowin'. This place is a frat party disguised as a bar. It's debauchery at its finest, with an ass-to-elbows crowd fist-pumping to the near-deafening music. Oh, and bro... do they even lift?
1318 Westheimer, 281-974-4752, royaloakhouston.com
9. OTC PATIO BAR
There are ping-pong tables lined up by the bathroom, life-size four-square, luxury portapotties to ease those long bathroom lines, and steaks grillin' outside at this open-air establishment, which helps to draw in the bros like moths to the Ed Hardy flame. There's so much spray-tan and muscle in this place that it's like a sea of hair gel.
The beer selection is a bit lacking, but no worries; there are plenty of shots, shots, shots, shot, shots shots, e'rybooooody!
3212 Kirby, 713-489-0860
This place is Jersey Shore tans and enhanced figures at their finest; Brixx is the place to come when you need to get that college-kid grindin' on. There's plenty of hip-hop to get those fists a-pumpin', and rumor has it that the bathroom attendants stock plenty of body glitter in case you forgot yours.
Seriously, though. Brixx welcomes graphic tees with open arms, so feel free to throw on your blingiest, shiniest finery over that massive chest and roll on up to the velvet ropes. They'll help you get your workout on.
5110 Washington, 713-864-8811, brixxhouston.com
3320 Kirby, Houston, TX