"Hick-Hop" Is Garbage. Jesus. It's Utter Garbage.
Let's talk about "hick-hop," shall we? So I was under the foolish impression that hick-hop was shit like Limp Bizkit and Bubba Sparxxx. You know, that mashed-up, metal-ish/hip-hop-ish/country garbage that constitutes, at most, a Nelly dance move or two.
I'd even lump Blake Shelton in with my previous idea of hick-hop, with whatever the hell it is he's doing now with that "Boys Round Here" garbage. Annoying but tolerable, for the most part.
So when I sat down to write on this whole hick-hop craze, I thought I had a pretty decent grasp on what I'd be getting.
I did not. I had no grasp on hick-hop. At all.
In reality, most of the music that is considered hick-hop is way more offensive to the eardrums (and soul) than anything poor Kid Rock could have done. The Jawga Boyz' "Ridin' High" (below) is an example of a common "hick-hop" music video. Oh, and that Jawga Boyz? It's pronounced "Georgia Boys," for those of you who read it as Jaguar Boys, as I did. Yup, Georgia Boys. The awkward spelling makes it gangster, apparently.
So what this hick-hop is, essentially, is not straight-up country, and it's certainly not hip-hop. It's a new(ish) genre of music that smacks together the terrible parts of country music and cheesy, drum-machine-generated beats, which is where the hip-hop component comes in. It creates this rural-themed, Autotuned twangy "rap," complete with a plethora of Walmart references and images of the stars and bars flown at will.
In other words, it's hip-hop that has been culturally appropriated by self-described rednecks, who have, in turn, hammered it to shit with references about dip, the South, their dislike of big cities (from which that whole hip-hop genre originated, dudes) and their love of the Confederate flag. Can I get a collective "ugh," please?
However, rather than kill you with a million words on why this stuff is the epitome of fuckery, I'm going to show you. I've watched a few Jawga Boyz videos so you don't have to, and here's what I've learned thus far about the hick-hop craze and why it's so anti-hip-hop, even with those drum machines creepin' in the background.