"Hick-Hop" Is Garbage. Jesus. It's Utter Garbage.

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I'm blaming you for this blog, Kid Rock. You and that damned "Cowboy" song. It's all your fault.

Let's talk about "hick-hop," shall we? So I was under the foolish impression that hick-hop was shit like Limp Bizkit and Bubba Sparxxx. You know, that mashed-up, metal-ish/hip-hop-ish/country garbage that constitutes, at most, a Nelly dance move or two.

I'd even lump Blake Shelton in with my previous idea of hick-hop, with whatever the hell it is he's doing now with that "Boys Round Here" garbage. Annoying but tolerable, for the most part.

So when I sat down to write on this whole hick-hop craze, I thought I had a pretty decent grasp on what I'd be getting.

I did not. I had no grasp on hick-hop. At all.

In reality, most of the music that is considered hick-hop is way more offensive to the eardrums (and soul) than anything poor Kid Rock could have done. The Jawga Boyz' "Ridin' High" (below) is an example of a common "hick-hop" music video. Oh, and that Jawga Boyz? It's pronounced "Georgia Boys," for those of you who read it as Jaguar Boys, as I did. Yup, Georgia Boys. The awkward spelling makes it gangster, apparently.

So what this hick-hop is, essentially, is not straight-up country, and it's certainly not hip-hop. It's a new(ish) genre of music that smacks together the terrible parts of country music and cheesy, drum-machine-generated beats, which is where the hip-hop component comes in. It creates this rural-themed, Autotuned twangy "rap," complete with a plethora of Walmart references and images of the stars and bars flown at will.

In other words, it's hip-hop that has been culturally appropriated by self-described rednecks, who have, in turn, hammered it to shit with references about dip, the South, their dislike of big cities (from which that whole hip-hop genre originated, dudes) and their love of the Confederate flag. Can I get a collective "ugh," please?

However, rather than kill you with a million words on why this stuff is the epitome of fuckery, I'm going to show you. I've watched a few Jawga Boyz videos so you don't have to, and here's what I've learned thus far about the hick-hop craze and why it's so anti-hip-hop, even with those drum machines creepin' in the background.


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20 comments
c.sharp73.cs
c.sharp73.cs

First off, music is an art form. The same thing was said when the Beatles hit America. It's not for everybody. Second, anyone with a computer can write a tiresome "blog". Everyone has a blog! You obviously have nothing better to do in your ' I couldn't get hired at a newspaper or magazine so I'm going to spew my holier than thou ideas on everybody else'. Here's something you can do with you "blog", go bluck a blick. Nobody cares what you think.

mdkittleson
mdkittleson

ja rule was never a member of cash money you fucking twit. You sure you ve ever even heard the "real" hip hop you are trying to "protect" ?

dulce31156
dulce31156

Hick Hop saved my life.  You are incorrect in my opinion.

WhiteLightning
WhiteLightning topcommenter

The awkward spelling also makes them...................stooooopid.

Andrew Parks
Andrew Parks

Of course hipsters have been promoting garbage music for years... but only their particular variety. The minute that people with a different set of ideas and values enter the equation they are upset.

MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

Remember that Cobain/Love conspiracy theory documentary? Remember the 213-year-old wino with four teeth who led the hate-metal band? Yeah, this, too. Good article, I hope your ears/eyes/intellect heal quickly.

Deja Cain
Deja Cain

Cash Money Redneck! Hahahaha!

Noah Ramon
Noah Ramon

(A) Cowboy Troy, what hast thou wrought? (Also : FFFFFUUUUUU-.) (B) John Linskey : Ska's had US-based haters ever since the late '80s/early '90s. I think it was the frat-boy 3rd wave and affiliates that attracted the vocal negative attention, and then the weird '90s west coast glossy plastic sheen it attracted didn't help one bit.

Redfishtrout
Redfishtrout

No more trash than 99% of Hip Hop these days.

Nate
Nate

Gah, all the white trash, it burns my eyes...

billybadass
billybadass

@Redfishtrout But it's cool to hate these guys because they're white. Shitty music should know no racial boundaries. 

dermgerm
dermgerm topcommenter

The white trash and the mud jug burn mine Q_Q

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