FLCON FCKER: Because Obscenity Should Be Symmetrical

It's a well-known fact that most band names are essentially gobbledygook, but here at Rocks Off we're trying hard to find meaning in the oddest monikers.

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You know what I love the best about Houston lately? We have all these really excellent electronica bands that are just byte-fucking our heads at every turn. Bang Bangz, BLSHS, and now another all-caps, vowel-impaired act in FLCON FCKER (pronounced "falcon fucker"). I haven't gotten a chance to see the man we'll for the rest of the article refer to Two F live yet, which is a shame because he's got a rockin'-ass bird costume to go with his rockin'-ass music.

It's more pulse-driven than the siren ambient works of our more female-centric groups, and doesn't appear to use vocals in any major capacity that I can tell. Nonetheless it manages to tell a story amidst the melodic modem noises. Imagine if instead of trees and animals the world was made of machinery. Two F's music would be the pagan nature sounds of that metal world. It's like a William Gibson picnic soundtrack. I'm digging it.

But that name...

FLCON FCKER! Really? First off, I don't know why we have so many bands that think if they use vowels it will summon evil goblins but please believe me when I say that is almost 100 percent unlikely. I was in a band with seven vowels in the name and never once did evil forces appear... at least not for that reason.

And who fucks a falcon? You have to wear like a special glove and hood the things just to keep yourself safe when you want them to kill something, and they like killing things. I can't imagine the penis pain from invading a falcon's egg chute.

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Thus did One F reach out to Two F across the Gore-blessed Internet. He said he had been waiting for me since I did one of these articles on Artificial Earth Machine. Apparently I'm getting predictable, but finding out the origin of FLCON FCKER was just too important.

"I was already building synths and playing some local gigs when I thought I needed to get a name," says Two F via email. "The whole 'naming my band' process is always a little silly. People always want to pick some clever name that somehow lets the audience know they're not only the most awesome person/people ever, but they have a mysterious depth and maybe people should come to the shows or buy some music cuz 'whoa that's so amazing!'

"I went the other route," FF continues. "I decided to just pick something ridiculous that has no musical context. I dreamed of a world where people would have to say the name in public with a straight face. Also I wanted to have a costume like Hawk from Buck Rogers. The URL fuckmyfalcon.com was available and you know how hard it is to find a URL these days. Everything's taken."


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Fitzgerald's

2706 White Oak, Houston, TX

Category: Music


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