"Hey, Girl, I'm Waiting On You...": One Direction's Five Best Pick-Up Lines
British video blogger Jack Harries and his pal, Caspar Lee, recently threw a little something together that racked up 1.5 million YouTube hits in a couple of weeks. They squirmed into their best skinny jeans, went off to the park and tried some "chat-up lines" on the ladies.
Fiona McKinlay via Wikimedia
Humor-wise, these kids are no threat to the Pythons, but they deserve credit for knowing how to draw attention to their creative efforts. They chose not to use tried and true pick-up lines, but instead employed lyrics from the insanely popular boy band One Direction to step to the honeys.
This is the part where I'm expected to turn super-judgmental, using my hipster lingo and logic to proclaim these youngsters the worst offenders of musical sensitivities since 4 Non Blondes.
But, no -- today, I come to praise and not bury One Direction, which visits Toyota Center this Sunday. Nearly 2 million people viewed the Harries and Lee video post just to hear these kids recite One Direction lyrics. No singing, no dancing and no members of the band are featured in the video; still, 1.5 million views.
There's a long history of doing this whole Cyrano de Bergerac thing (go read some literature, kids), so let's see how Harries and Lee did with the lines they chose and examine which lyrical pick-up lines may have been better options:
Song: "Live While You're Young"
Line: "Hey girl, I'm waiting on you. I'm waiting on you..."
Response: The subject begins giggling and eventually pushes Harries away with an Arian Foster-worthy stiff-arm. Fail.
Better One Direction Choice: "Under the lights tonight/ You turned around/ And you stole my heart..." ("Stole My Heart")
It's a little classier and would probably work best when the bar is about to kick everyone out.
Classic Similar Pick-up Line: "I know who I want to take me home" (Semisonic's "Closing Time")
Works best delivered with come-hither eyes and after numerous drinks.
Song: "Kiss You"
Line: "I just wanna take you anywhere that you'd like. We can go out, any day, any night..."
Response: Young lady shakes her head, looks around for help, mumbles something like, "Oh my God, no."
Better One Direction Choice: "Lately, I found myself thinking/ Been dreaming about you a lot/ And up in my head I'm your boyfriend..." ("I Would")
Classic Similar Pick-up Line: "Let's pretend we're married and go all night/ There ain't nothing wrong, if it feels alright/ Oooh wee sha sha coo coo yeah" (Prince's "Let's Pretend We're Married")
I wasn't there, but I'll bet this one worked for Prince at least once.