My Fiancé Might Have a Shady Past. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Dear Willie D:
I met my fiancé two months ago, and now we are on our way to the chapel to get married. I know you, like everybody else, might think we're moving too fast, but I've always thought if you love someone, what difference does it make if you wait two months or two years to get married?
The wedding is next week, and I'm starting to get cold feet; here's why. My fiancé took me with him to visit his good friend in Arizona, where he grew up. While there we met several other old friends of his, and on more than one occasion they referred to him with a name that I never heard before and had no relevance to his first or last name. For instance, if his name was William, people might call him Bob, Willie, or Will.
I asked him about it and he said it was a nickname but that didn't make sense. I called my friend and told her about my experience, and she suggested I do some snooping when I got home, which I did. I waited until he went to work and searched his belongings. Hidden inside of a small pocket of his gym bag I found four additional ID cards with his picture and alias names. I went on the Internet and searched all of the names including the name I knew him by but didn't see anything that stood out.
My head is spinning 1,000 miles per minute. For all I know, he could be wanted for murder. What have I gotten myself into? Do I confront him with my discovery, do I wait for him to come clean or do I run for the exits?
When you meet a man for the first time and decide to marry him 2 months later, you're asking for it. It takes most people longer to figure out what to wear to the club. Before you make commitments to marry someone, it's a good idea to meet their family and friends first. Everyone has that uncle or cousin at the family gathering who always gets drunk and will gladly tell you anything you want to know about a your significant other.
You could confront your fiancé but what if he really is a murderer? You could set him off. You could wait until he's ready to confide in you, however by that time he could have cleaned out your bank account, ruined your credit, and sold your house for $200.00 to his accountant/ sponsor from AA and split the equity. That leaves one option: run for the exits.
USED BY A FRIEND
Dear Willie D:
My friend is a shameless user. Oh my God, like she never has any money and when she does she avoids me like the plague. I have propped her up countless times in difficult situations, but when I asked her for a favor one time, she couldn't come to my aid.
I called her late one night after running out of gas. Being a female stranded on a dark deserted road, I was terrified. Because I had helped her so many times I assumed she would be more than happy to come to my rescue. Boy was I wrong!
She told me that she was sleeping and had to get up in the morning for work. What?
Luckily for me, Triple A showed up and put enough fuel in my car for me to make it to the gas station to fill up. The next morning she called to say she was checking on me to make sure I made it home safely. I swore at her and gave her the big click followed by dead air.
At first I didn't care but now I want my money back. The only problem is she never signed a promissory note and since we are no longer friends, I doubt if she will be willing to pay me back without legal action. What should I do?
Used By a Friend:
How much money are we talking about? If it's a couple of hundred dollars, you count your losses and move on. If it's a few thousand, then you have to get that money. However, without proof, in a court of law, it'll be your word against hers and you know how that goes. A pair of lips will say anything.