I Want to Spank My Boyfriend's Kid. Help!

Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!

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Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
ASHAMED OF DAD'S TEETH

Dear Willie D:

I do quite a bit of entertaining at my home. Usually the closest people to me are in attendance except my dad. The reason my dad is never around is because many of his teeth are either rotten or missing and I'm ashamed of inviting him over. I almost always feel guilty, but as the night progresses I forget about it and it's not a problem again until the next gathering.

I told him once that he should get his teeth fixed but he just brushed it off. He's on a fixed income and I'm not rich, so money is somewhat of an issue. But I would be willing to charge it to my credit card and pay off the cost of dentures later. I don't want to press the issue and offend him so I don't talk about it, but it really bothers me. What should I do?

Feeling Guilty:

Go to your dad and tell him that you want to make an appointment for him to see a dentist so he can be examined and fitted for dentures. Let him know that you will pay for everything. I don't see him refusing an all-expense-paid trip to the dentist's office to get a new grill. If he does, inform him of the health risks associated with bad teeth like infections that cause gum disease, cardiovascular disease and heart problems.

Get him his dentures for your own peace of mind but more importantly, do it for him. It's important to inject your father into your good times and to invite him to gatherings in honor of your milestones in life. All things considered, without him there is no you. He shouldn't be missing celebrations because he's missing a few fangs.


SAY GOODBYE TO THE NICE GUY

Dear Willie D:

I'm a nice guy but I don't feel like people appreciate me. I'm the guy who will help a friend out with anything but my friends won't do the same. I'm the guy who is nice to girls but they take my kindness for weakness and try to walk all over me. What's crazy is they let guys who treat them shitty walk over them.

So my question is: what the hell is wrong with society? Why does it seem like bad guys finish first and nice guys finish last? I'm tired of being the nice guy.

Nice Guy:

I don't know what the hell is wrong with society. But I do know women like the bad-boy type because he's unpredictable and adventurous. They never know when the police are going to kick in the door or he's going to choke them out at a family gathering. Additionally, women often assume the bad guy to mean good sex. But they don't generally consider them for long-term commitments. So bad guys eventually finish last. As for your friends, get some new ones.

In the future if you're going to stoop to someone's level, let it be to pull them up to your level, not to bring yourself down to theirs.


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1 comments
MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

Good advice on letter two. Honestly, you don't have friends. You have family--like them or not--and everybody is else is a rectal cavity you gotta deal with. Stop taking phone calls--from the women and the men and learn the freeing power of "No." Otherwise, accept that you're masochistic and you're not complaining, you're advertising.

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