10 "Classic" Albums We Happen to Hate
Through a variety of methods and processes, certain albums throughout the course of pop and rock history have come to be regarded as "classics," critically untouchable works that not only enriched the coffers of their creators but overall made the world a nicer, more beautiful place to be.
Sorry, Bono, Edge, etc... at least you're in good company.
Of course that's a load of horse pucky. Recently Rocks Off asked several of our writers to give us an album or two that everybody seems to love but them, and they wouldn't mind sharpening their knives on a bit.
Aerosmith, Toys in the Attic
Classic rock has been the basis of my musical appreciation ever since my mom introduced me to the Beatles and my dad taught me Clapton way back when. Digging through my parents' records back when I was in my early teens, passing Lou Reed and Elvis, I came across Aerosmith's Toys in the Attic. Since I'd been watching MTV for several years at that point, and was also a boy coming of age, I had known all about the band's Alicia Silverstone/Liv Tyler Get a Grip days. I never really loved the songs "Cryin'" or "Crazy," but the videos were always a treat to watch.
So I gave this record a spin, and already knowing a few songs like "Walk This Way" and "Sweet Emotion," made it through the whole 37 minutes. I never listened to it again. I hated it for some reason, and still to this day can't put my finger on why. I'm not sure if it's just my pure annoyance by Steven Tyler, or that I just don't like Aerosmith's music, but Toys in the Attic stayed in the attic with the rest of my toys until a garage sale a few years later. JIM BRICKER
This is partially an age thing, because Kiss had all but run their course -- or so everyone thought -- by the time my musical tastes began developing in the mid-'80s. I knew them as toys or the subject of lunch boxes a few of the older kids brought to school, not the greasepainted band who wanted to rock and roll all night and party every day. I was a big WWF fan back then, though, and in fact one of the wrestlers used "Rock and Roll All Night" as his entrance music. Even then I didn't connect the two.
Not that it would have made that much difference. I find Kiss' makeup and "personalities" little more than schtick, and their brand of arena-rock rote and generic. I cannot think of a single Kiss song I actually like. I only picked Alive! because it represents their body of work as a whole; I freely confess I don't think I've ever even listened to it all the way through. Retroactively, I understand that Kiss influenced all sorts of bands I do dig, from the Replacements to Queens of the Stone Age, but to this day I don't see what the big deal is. I prefer AC/DC by a factor of about a thousand. CHRIS GRAY
"Hate" is a strong word, but I've never been that big on Metallica's music. Is it bad? No, far from it. But I've never quite understood the band's massive, cult-like appeal. Whenever I listen to them, I feel like I'm watching Donnie Darko, and all my friends are telling me how it changed their lives while I sit back, thinking, "Sure, OK. Yeah, that was kind of fun." But that music video they did for the Mission Impossible 2 soundtrack, where the whole band was rocking out on top of a big rock in Monument Valley, that shit was killer. MATTHEW KEEVER
Queen, A Night at the Opera
If we're discussing "classic" albums that don't quite measure up, it'd be a crime not to mention possibly the most overrated "classic rock" band in history: Queen. Now, Queen was a consummate singles band, and the only album by them that anyone gives a shit about is Greatest Hits. The closest thing they've got to a "classic" LP, though, is A Night at the Opera: a strange mishmash of tastefully constructed filler surrounding "Bohemian Rhapsody."
One of the few Queen hits that lives on outside of sporting events (thanks, Wayne's World!), "Bohemian Rhapsody" is an exceedingly silly bit of fluff that rocks out for approximately 30 seconds in between broad stretches of completely nonsensical lyricism deployed in a grating, faux-operatic vocal style. If you're the sort of jerk who enjoys playing this song on the jukebox and loudly singing along, please resume taking your prescribed medication. NATHAN SMITH