10 "Classic" Albums We Happen to Hate

Categories: Pop Life

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Sorry, Bono, Edge, etc... at least you're in good company.
Through a variety of methods and processes, certain albums throughout the course of pop and rock history have come to be regarded as "classics," critically untouchable works that not only enriched the coffers of their creators but overall made the world a nicer, more beautiful place to be.

Of course that's a load of horse pucky. Recently Rocks Off asked several of our writers to give us an album or two that everybody seems to love but them, and they wouldn't mind sharpening their knives on a bit.


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Aerosmith, Toys in the Attic
Classic rock has been the basis of my musical appreciation ever since my mom introduced me to the Beatles and my dad taught me Clapton way back when. Digging through my parents' records back when I was in my early teens, passing Lou Reed and Elvis, I came across Aerosmith's Toys in the Attic. Since I'd been watching MTV for several years at that point, and was also a boy coming of age, I had known all about the band's Alicia Silverstone/Liv Tyler Get a Grip days. I never really loved the songs "Cryin'" or "Crazy," but the videos were always a treat to watch.

So I gave this record a spin, and already knowing a few songs like "Walk This Way" and "Sweet Emotion," made it through the whole 37 minutes. I never listened to it again. I hated it for some reason, and still to this day can't put my finger on why. I'm not sure if it's just my pure annoyance by Steven Tyler, or that I just don't like Aerosmith's music, but Toys in the Attic stayed in the attic with the rest of my toys until a garage sale a few years later. JIM BRICKER


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Kiss, Alive!
This is partially an age thing, because Kiss had all but run their course -- or so everyone thought -- by the time my musical tastes began developing in the mid-'80s. I knew them as toys or the subject of lunch boxes a few of the older kids brought to school, not the greasepainted band who wanted to rock and roll all night and party every day. I was a big WWF fan back then, though, and in fact one of the wrestlers used "Rock and Roll All Night" as his entrance music. Even then I didn't connect the two.

Not that it would have made that much difference. I find Kiss' makeup and "personalities" little more than schtick, and their brand of arena-rock rote and generic. I cannot think of a single Kiss song I actually like. I only picked Alive! because it represents their body of work as a whole; I freely confess I don't think I've ever even listened to it all the way through. Retroactively, I understand that Kiss influenced all sorts of bands I do dig, from the Replacements to Queens of the Stone Age, but to this day I don't see what the big deal is. I prefer AC/DC by a factor of about a thousand. CHRIS GRAY


Metallica (any)
"Hate" is a strong word, but I've never been that big on Metallica's music. Is it bad? No, far from it. But I've never quite understood the band's massive, cult-like appeal. Whenever I listen to them, I feel like I'm watching Donnie Darko, and all my friends are telling me how it changed their lives while I sit back, thinking, "Sure, OK. Yeah, that was kind of fun." But that music video they did for the Mission Impossible 2 soundtrack, where the whole band was rocking out on top of a big rock in Monument Valley, that shit was killer. MATTHEW KEEVER


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Queen, A Night at the Opera
If we're discussing "classic" albums that don't quite measure up, it'd be a crime not to mention possibly the most overrated "classic rock" band in history: Queen. Now, Queen was a consummate singles band, and the only album by them that anyone gives a shit about is Greatest Hits. The closest thing they've got to a "classic" LP, though, is A Night at the Opera: a strange mishmash of tastefully constructed filler surrounding "Bohemian Rhapsody."

One of the few Queen hits that lives on outside of sporting events (thanks, Wayne's World!), "Bohemian Rhapsody" is an exceedingly silly bit of fluff that rocks out for approximately 30 seconds in between broad stretches of completely nonsensical lyricism deployed in a grating, faux-operatic vocal style. If you're the sort of jerk who enjoys playing this song on the jukebox and loudly singing along, please resume taking your prescribed medication. NATHAN SMITH


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61 comments
fieldcrow52
fieldcrow52

I don't like Quadrophenia either...but up till that album, I love The Who. So, to quote Jerry Lee Lewis..."Bark my hole". just kidding. thanks for writing about records.


Mitchell Davis
Mitchell Davis

...and of course you know whoever put this together are in their 20's and are just weening themselves off of Justin Bieber butt wash and Jennifer Lopez the fake bitch!...not much these day's that even comes close to the emotion and work that was put into Classic Rock songs....you wish you had a voice like Freddie Mercury or Robert Plant or Roger Daltrey or Jon Anderson or or Bono....what an asswipe you are Houston Press!

Mitchell Davis
Mitchell Davis

WTF is this WE shit?....you mean 10 classic albums "YOU" happen to hate....get your lame ass off of Facebook you twiddle...

Tony Gutierrez
Tony Gutierrez

Your people are so wrong they don't even warrant a retort

Michael Krause
Michael Krause

Sigh. I see we're back to trolling for more page views.

Jacob Bocanegra
Jacob Bocanegra

piss of u wankers u ppl dont know good music!! u guys think Tegan and Sara are brilliant. yeah thats y theyre still doing Bar Mitzvahs...

_sid.
_sid.

Oh my! How controversial! Next article, top ten songs on the boston bombers iPod?

#weakrollingstonereference

There would be no punk rock without Quadraphenia; ask the Clash and the Pistols - well quoted.

You missed Genesis, Eagles, Cranberries and Hootie and the Blowfish - and may as well tee up Mumford and Sons.

AdmitItItsLame
AdmitItItsLame

Somebody explain the immense popularity of Radiohead.

Jacob Bocanegra
Jacob Bocanegra

dubstep loving ,tegan and sara lovin, hipster aholes.....

Michael Mitchell
Michael Mitchell

Remember, if we all liked the same music, what a boring bunch of folks we would be.

Michael Mitchell
Michael Mitchell

Let us be honest too. Metal spoke to many. Maybe not you, but many. We still go to the concerts today ( I do). Again, this is your opinion. Folks still buy Megadeth ( I do and go to their concerts), Metallica and Testament. I also love the Doobie Brothers, Asia, The Eagles and others. That horribly scripted hair metal ( as I am wearing, proudly I might add, a Stryper shirt) was what we loved. You do not think what is coming out it scripted on top 40 radio is not scripted? The 1970's was an amazing era for music. From Judas Priest, to AC/DC to Foreigner, it was breathtaking. The songs that were written were golden. The 1980's had it share of amazing songwriters and songs. Again, to each their own. Let folks enjoy what they want. What makes you rock may not be what I like.

Schittphaiç Magü
Schittphaiç Magü

C'mon now. The 1980s is filled with low-hanging fruit. If you are feeling more "ballsier" and want to really get a rise out of music fans, consider attacking the so-called "sacred cows:" The Beatles, The Stones, and...*rolling of eyes*...Nirvana! These are clearly the three most overrated bands in history.

Schittphaiç Magü
Schittphaiç Magü

Let's just be honest with ourselves here. Much of that came out of the 1980s was garbage, from cheesy new wave synth pop to that horribly scripted "hair" metal. (Seriously, she's no longer your or anyone's "cherry pie" if it's already been tapped. LMAO) Who would have foreshadowed what is widely considered the greatest decade for music would be followed by what is arguably the worst?

Trillian Ninetysix
Trillian Ninetysix

Seems you'd know something about psychological issues. If you want to listen to The Wall on the ward, that's between you and the staff.

Schittphaiç Magü
Schittphaiç Magü

The best music is primarily based upon parental issues and/or Freudian psychosexual development. You just friggin' suck. LuLz.

Robert Schroeder
Robert Schroeder

Agreed! I feel like this article is just trying to get a rise (and comments) out of people.

Trillian Ninetysix
Trillian Ninetysix

Pink Floyd's "The Wall." I don't need to know that much about anyone's mother issues. How could you leave that off the list?

Deja Cain
Deja Cain

Only one you're wrong about is The Smiths.

DLege
DLege

Just one note about The Who- I know it's ancient history, but listen to Live at Leeds really loud sometime.

That is all.

mona022
mona022

These type of blog/article entries are written to get people talking. It saddens me that these "youngsters" critique music without any other reason or motive than, "I just can't get into it." "I'm not a fan of his voice." To Alyssa: I scoff at your attempt of "music critic," but there's no substance to your "review" of Springsteen's album or Sublime's. The only thing you accomplished was to show your age, what 23-24 y/o? Have fun with your Lady Gaga's and bubble gum music.. auto-tuned vocals and crappy lyrics. It's sad that your generation will continue to miss the mark on real talent. 

MkalCICMB
MkalCICMB

What a surprise Houston Press is hating on others AGAIN.  Shocking.

David Lege
David Lege

Come on ! this is my favorite U2 album!

Michael Mitchell
Michael Mitchell

First, it is an age difference. What is good for my generation ( I was a teenager for Toys In The Attack and the early Metallica) is not so good for those who were younger. I get that. Experiences matter. Where metal was a huge deal to me ( still is) because of my age, might not mean much to you. Second is experience. You might not have experience what many did when the albums were in vogue.

mern721
mern721

Hotel California drove me nuts, but I'm biased....I don't like ANYTHING the Eagles did!

Soup McGee
Soup McGee

--"Night hangs/like a prisoner/stretched over/black and blue/hear their heartbeat/we hear their heartbeat." That's ONE reason on the plus for The Joshua Tree...the lyrics effin Matter.

dermgerm
dermgerm

To be fair, all those bands really blow. Except Sublime. Come on! We were all in high school once!

My favorite hate on here is Metallica. The only band I can't stand more than them are the freaking cranberries. Gag me with a spoon.

Berto
Berto

About half right which is more than I would expect.  Include the Pretenders record, everything by Joan Jett and Floyd's "The Wall" and you have it right.  Sublime - horrible, Queen - even worse. 

uuuzz
uuuzz

if Toys In The Attic was one of your "parents' records" you are clearly a child who has not gained enough life experience to contribute to this conversation.

wolfknife
wolfknife

matthew keever, you sir are a MORON and shame on you. You are a loser in life, keep on listening to emo and indie and go cry yourself to sleep in your double wide trailer

JimWC
JimWC

Well, Steven Tyler nowadays is purely annoying.

jjjames
jjjames

troll troll your boat Rocks Off

gossamersixteen
gossamersixteen topcommenter

The Queen is Dead really has no place on this list, however appetite for destruction, and slippery when wet certainly deserve the nod.. On a side note, God bless you're old if you were 21 when the Queen is Dead came out in 1986..

David Cook
David Cook

i wonder how young the writer of this is

jacobsimonbocanegra
jacobsimonbocanegra

@forsidney Genesis has decades of hits as do the Eagles, if i ever get a chance to choke mumford and sons i will do so for the greater good. y are they on the radio and not Alabama Shakes or Gary Clark Jr???


jacobsimonbocanegra
jacobsimonbocanegra

@Schittphaiç Magü ok i'll give u nirvana, but the Beatles and Stones have lasted decades, sure they made some mistakes but cmon.....the HP wont attack the Beatles or Stones because we all know where their office is and the entire city will egg the building, (its downtown near Jefferson BTW)


MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

Bullet the Blue Sky: "Out side it's America."

I bet, just bet, inside it's America, too. Some lyrics matter effin less than others.

DLege
DLege

@dermgerm you did NOT just say that the Who blows! No Culture ,No culture....

dermgerm
dermgerm

Good call on Pink Floyd's The Wall. That crap needs to be added to this list stat.

tishsendejas
tishsendejas

@gossamersixteen good feedback, gossamer16. and yes, i am really that old :( (but apparently not too old to use an emoticon).  i must respectfully disagree with your assertion that the Smiths should not be on the list. the piece is called classic albums we happen to hate; i was part of the "we" and i know what i don't like, which is why i wrote about this album.  

having said all that, i should mention many people i know, including the two musicians i raised who still live in my home, and many of their young friends really love The Smiths. in an academic sense, i see why. but i'm still not a fan. 

even though you didn't view this as an attempt to draw the ire of all music fans (many others did), i think the best part of an article like this is the give and take that follows. people digging in and defending their favorites. it's fun and informative. 

i'm headed home. i'll pull The Queen is Dead up on Spotify and listen again for something i must be missing.  take care,  -js 

thraeryn
thraeryn

@gossamersixteen Waitwaitwait. "Appetite" is the best album about excess and vice ever recorded. I mean, if you don't want to live in 1987, getting drunk out of your mind and sleeping with upwards of three women a night, I guess I get your distaste, . . . but there IS no better example of that era given musical form.

MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

I wonder if you read the half-dozen or so names under the individual commentary. I also wonder if you realize--you know, from reading the authors' other work--their ages range from old enough to buy booze to sweet-baby-Jesus-you're-not-dead-yet?

_sid.
_sid.

@jacobsimonbocanegra Well, yes of course - all these bands had pop scuccess. But I really hated that Genesis album in the 80s titled Genesis that put them back on the pop charts and everything after that, accept Phil Collins Disney songs. Absolutely love Peter Gabriel Genesis, and Genesis Three Sides Live and Lamb Lies Down on Broadway.

mern721
mern721

Excess and vice.....Velvet Underground anyone?

gossamersixteen
gossamersixteen topcommenter

@thraeryn @gossamersixteen Sorry not interested in lowest common denominator thinking and or fornication/drunkenness -- and if that's what you define as good music you clearly aren't much of a fan of music..

tishsendejas
tishsendejas

@MadMac "sweet-baby-Jesus-you're-not-dead-yet?" ... to whom would this refer, Mr. Mac???  ROFLMAO.  have a good weekend, sir, LOL


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