Free Press Summer Fest: The Festival's Biggest WTF Moments
Know Your City
Photo by Jim Bricker A little lost, Kim?
During Matt & Kim, Kim had the crowd in her pocket... until she accidentally called them "Dallas." She immediately recognized her terrible faux pas and recovered by telling a story about how once she was having sex with Matt and called him by the wrong name. She said that afterwards "things got weird," so she encouraged the crowd to get as "weird" as they could so we could all relive it together. Crisis averted. SELENA DIERINGER
While I was smack in the middle of the mob at Calvin Harris, I looked around and realized that everyone around me was making out, hard. It's really awkward to be standing with a co-worker in the middle of a mob of high-school kids, all of them making out while the area reeked of sweat and dance music was blaring. Kids, we don't need to see you dry-hump, like, ever. ANGELICA LEICHT
The Good Old Days?
The most "WTF" thing that I encountered at the fest was the almost total lack of WTF-ness, at least compared to previous years. The lines to get in were manageable, the number of porta-cans was appropriate and, for the most part, everything ran on schedule.
Not bad for 80,000 people, I guess, but I found myself pining for the weirdness of last year's Super Happy Fun Land stage - or even a paint slide or two. NATHAN SMITH
Back That Ass Up
Women, I'd like to talk to you about a serious problem sweeping America. It's called "Momjeans Jeanshorts," and it is a legit epidemic. I've gotta tell you straight, they don't look good on ANYONE. Heidi Klum would look awkward in that shit.
They make everyone look like they have a big ass, and NOT in the good, "Back That Ass Up" way. There was never a rock song about pear-bottomed girls making the rockin' world go 'round. I'm all for a high-waisted sailor pant, because that shit is cute. These shorts are NOT. I say we band together and make this trend disappear as fast as possible. SELENA DIERINGER
Let It Grow
As I was walking between stages Sunday afternoon, someone - who did this all without stopping his forward momentum, I might add - reached out, stroked my facial hair, looked me in the eye and said, "Let it grow, man, let it grow."
What he doesn't know is that I've tried growing it for years and no matter what I do, it just stops at a certain, short point. Way to remind me I'll never have a magnificent beard, random jerk. CORY GARCIA
Not So Fancy Pants
The Fancy Pants tents were full of people flat laid out from the sun, but one chick in there Saturday was so out of it that she wouldn't wake up or eat. The people around her were trying to help her, but no dice.
She eventually was forced up and at 'em by some dude, and followed him out. I'm really hoping it was someone she came with. ANGELICA LEICHT
High On the Hill
There was a giant dirt cliff on the hill in front of the Saturn stage, I sat there during Vintage Trouble, watching people struggle to overcome it. That was entertaining. And Sunday's rain made those hills even more slippery. BRITTANIE SHEY
Being The "Cool" Parent
I get it- you want to go have fun at FPSF and don't want to fork over the cash for a babysitter, so you gather up your youngster(s) at hit the festival. Sure, in 10 years your kids will be thanking you for exposing them to good music at a young age, but come one: if you're kid can't be trusted to be home alone for the afternoon, does that same kid need to be watching the Geto Boys? CORY GARCIA
Give Us the Straight Dope
So, did we ever find out if Bushwick Bill really did get busted for pot possession? We'd kind of like to know. [The latest we've heard is that he was simply late coming in from Louisiana -- Ed.] JOHN SEABORN GRAY