Free Press Summer Fest: The Best Things We Overheard In the Crowd This Weekend

Photo by Marco Torres
Didn't the guy on the left used to play football around here?
"I like the red douchebag tanks."

"I know this song!" -- at the beginning of Paul Wall's "Smile For Me Daddy"

"Fuck your fuckin' water!" -- a testy exchange in the Fancy Pants tent

"When are the Geto Boys coming out?" -- ten minues after the Houston rap legends' scheduled stage time of 3:40 p.m. Saturday; Scarface and Willie D, minus Bushwick Bill, finally appeared at 4:06 p.m.


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"No one talks about semen hoarding in America." -- local comedienne Lisa Friedrich on the Jupiter stage

"Oh my God. They just said they're overflowing. What if it splashes back up at us?" -- as she squeals with her friends about that noxious portapotty situation; we all gagged in line

"Listen to us, being snobs about the bike cabbies. 'You think this trip is worth a $5 tip? It was downhill the whole way! Talk to me after you've pedaled up and down Red River in Austin a few times.'"

"I can't tell the difference between the hipsters and the dudebros anymore. They all just look like brosters. God that makes me sound old."

"Ha ha ha! Whatever you say, Cat Power!"

"No, we're not staying for Social Distortion. Too much Jesus stuff now. Like DC Talk, if they said 'fuck' sometimes."

"Mavis Staples sounds like a man." -- Just... no.


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Macklemore & Ryan Lewis at Free Press Summer Fest, 6/2/2013

"Wait, why is that dude wearing a coconut bra? Does he really have boobs?"

"Dude, you want to hit this? I brought my regular e-cigarette - it's watermelon - but this one is butane hash oil. Greg only smokes oil now, dude, he gets it from California. We came prepared." -- every college bro at the fest

Location Info


Eleanor Tinsley Park

500 Allen Parkway, Houston, TX

Category: General

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"What do you, think you're from Brazil, or something?" -- Chan Marshalll/Cat Power, referring to Houston's summer heat

Wrong. She was referring to the Jamaican flag in the top right corner. Shes an idiot and doesnt know what the Brazilian flag looks like. 


Sorry, but nothing beats Mavis Staples thanking Mayor "Anita" Parker.


A more memorable quote from The Bronx was when the vocalist referred to Houston as "The Gateway To The Americas" - which I'm pretty sure is Laredo's city slogan.

MadMac topcommenter

They had irony there too? And I missed it. Dang.

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