Willie D, Please Save My Long-Distance Relationship
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Dear Willie D:
I'm in a long-distance relationship with a good man, but the miles are starting to wear on my patience -- not to mention my pocketbook -- from traveling back and forth. We met at a business seminar two years ago in Miami where he is an architect for a reputable firm. Since I live and work in L.A., we don't get to spend much time together.
I've been under a lot of stress lately with my job. When I come home it would be nice to actually see, touch and talk to the man I'm in love with about my issues and how my day went. I have wonderful friends, but it's depressing when I hang out with them and everybody but me are all snuggled up and smooching on their significant others. I don't want to break up with him and neither of us wants to move. Please advise?
Like that movie starring Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton, something's gotta give. Since you're still in love and neither of you wants to move, the obvious thing to do is hang in there and allow time to bring you closer together. When you're feeling down and vulnerable, before you start thinking negatively about your relationship you might want to reference the myriad of personal opinions from women around the world who will testify in a court of law that a good man is hard to find.
In this cold dark world where it seems that everyone is out for self, I for one would not risk searching for another good woman if I already had one. Your relationship is at a crossroads, and as always, when approaching intersecting streets you must be very cautious or you could end up in a wreck.
Spoiler alert: Long-distance relationships are extremely difficult and require a focused commitment from both sides. Been there, done that, took pictures, filmed it, got the T-shirt, the mug, the cap, and the keychain.
Dear Willie D:
Despite working hard for a number of years, I have no specific occupation and my career path is undefined. I give my work a lot of importance; however, the most apt term to describe my professional life would be confused. Most of the time I have no office, no job title and earn no money. But, this state of confusion does help to lower my barriers and the barriers of people I engage with, hence allowing me and those around me to arrive at new layers of honesty.
People I know understand and relate to this state of confusion but protect themselves from it through such measures as making sure their to-do list is lengthy and regularly meeting people or staying in contact with people through the phone or the Internet. While it's only a thin layer that separates me from being occupied rather than confused, I wonder if I have opened a can of worms by admitting to the confusion. Can I go back to being distracted or should I embrace the confusion?
The first step to solving a problem is to admit that you have one, so you're halfway home. I think you could go back to being distracted if you put it in your mind that bigger and better things will happen for you and the distractions are a bump in the road, not a roadblock.
Before I became a rapper I was a landscaper, a fast-food restaurant cook, a telemarketer, a newspaper salesman, and a security guard -- with no gun. The major difference between you and me is, by the time I reached 17 years old I knew what I wanted to do with my life. But don't trip, as long as you're breathing you got action.
All of us were blessed with talents and gifts. To be able to use your gift, something you're passionate about, to earn a living is infinitely rewarding, but often takes time and a lot of hard work to come to fruition, so most people settle for using their talents to pay the bills and end up stuck with dead-end jobs they hate.
Millions of people can cook -- that's a talent -- but people like Rachael Ray and Wolfgang Puck have a gift for it. Here's how to determine what your gift is. Figure out what comes natural and easy for you, that other people find difficult to do. That's your gift. Until you identify and chase it as if a horror-movie killer were after you, you will forever be in a state of distracted confusion.