Slapping Bey's Ass May Have Been a Poor Life Choice, Dude

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I'm just going to go with the obvious here and say that when you're at a concert, there's a golden rule that one should follow, both with your fellow concertgoers and with the performers. It's a rule that has been reiterated since the dawn of man: keep your hands to yourselves. Sticky paws are not welcome in public, but that is especially true when you're crammed ass to elbows by a stage with strangers.

I would have thought that most people were aware that just because you're crammed in like sardines at a concert, it does not give you the go-ahead to grab somebody's shit, but but judging by the video of a dude flat-out smacking Beyonce on the ass the other night in Copenhagen, perhaps it's a subject that needs to be touched upon again.

So yeah -- it's not a good idea to smack the rear of a person who hasn't asked for it, ever -- but that's especially true when it's Beyonce and she's trying to sing, of all songs, "Irreplaceable." Surely there was a better opportunity during a high-energy number like "Single Ladies" or something. It might have made a bit more sense. But really? "Irreplaceable" hardly asks for a smack on the bum.

It's not the first time that there's been sticky hands onstage, though, so don't feel too bad, random dude from Copenhagen. There have been plenty of grabby blunders during concerts, and I'm sure there will be plenty more.

Here are a few of the best ass-grabby moments onstage. Hopefully it'll help ease the dude's sting over being dragged out of a venue from the very front of the stage. I don't envy that hideous walk of shame in the slightest.


Nicki Minaj
When a fan "joined" Minaj on stage at a 2012 concert in Miami and grabbed her around the waist, Minaj's security team proved that they don't play that game. They grabbed the guy and took him down to the side of the stage to knock the crap out of him.

There were a couple of terrible, terrible ideas involved with that one. First one was attending a Nicki Minaj concert in the first place, and the second one was being dumb enough to jump up there while fully aware of the big ol' dudes looming in a threatening manner along the sides of the stage. Think, people. Think.


The Rolling Stones
Leave it to The Rolling Stones to be badass enough to handle a wayward fan by their damn selves. When an excitable audience member flew onto the stage at a 1981 Stones concert, Keith Richards used his cat-like reflexes to knock the fucker down with his guitar, hardly missing a beat as they played "Satisfaction." Oh, to have been a fly on the wall...

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13 comments
Mike Powell
Mike Powell

you didn't mention when it happened to ELVIS: On February 18, 1973, one of Elvis' fears came true. He had been through an assassination threat in 1970. This night 4 men rushed the stage, and Elvis' guys rushed to protect him. Elvis took up his karate moves and knocked one of them into the audience, but he couldn't be calmed down. "I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen. I'm sorry I didn't break his goddamn neck is what I'm sorry about." The guys turned out to be fans who just got a little too rowdy, but later that night Elvis couldn't stop talking about it. He speculated they were sent by the karate instructor who was now going out with Priscilla.

Marcel Wormsley
Marcel Wormsley

I'm sure he thinks it was worth it, whatever the cost.

David Gonzalez
David Gonzalez

He did it not many can say the same good for him

Don Price
Don Price

Oh the humanity! When will women be allowed to shake their booties in peoples faces AND be given the reshpect they deserve as artists?

WomanBearPig
WomanBearPig

What's hilarious is the obvious behind the scenes voice enhancement that Beyonce uses once she returned to singing. She's a man faced hack, but no one should ever be unwantedly touched. Ever.

dermgerm
dermgerm topcommenter

O.O that Tim McGraw video had me put MY tail between MY legs. Seriously, that was super disrespectful. But...she can't laugh it off by now and have the chick kicked out of the show quietly?

ica1
ica1

A better song to have slapped her ass? Someone who he doesn't know and doesn't have the right to just touch? Can we teach a lesson that no matte who you are, you can't just go around slapping asses? What in the actual F.

MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

Say what you will about Mr. Richards but he truly learned all he needed to know about crowd control at Altamont.

Side note, I always wondered what an under-age pastor's daughter was doing at an Akon show to begin with. But then this goes to the argument for, "you make no decisisons that don't involve breakfast cereal until you're draft-board eligible."

dermgerm
dermgerm topcommenter

Unwelcomed groping is never acceptable

angelica.leicht
angelica.leicht

@MadMac You know, I wondered the same thing...but even if she was of age, it was really quite an awkward grinding situation. I would have thrown up in my mouth a lil bit had it happened to me.

MadMac
MadMac topcommenter

I saw LL Cool J back in '88. Yes, I thought I was in love with the girl who asked me to go. And no, it was not reciprocal. But I digress.

As "I Need Love," intro'd, a bed rose up through the stage and LL called a young girl up from the audience--she MIGHT have been 16. When he moved in for the bump and grind, girl-chile-young'en put the brakes on and he dismissed her from the stage. I had a great deal of respect for that girl and a great deal of nausea for the rest of the evening. My date and I agreed to see other people and much different shows. Go figure.  

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